


365

by TheShieldAU



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 65
Words: 85,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19234195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShieldAU/pseuds/TheShieldAU
Summary: Dean retired to become a gamer and uh stuff happens





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoa it's been a long time! I had this book on somewhere else I couldn't post it because my memories bad XD

It was just another day like any other. A day of traveling, wrestling, celebrating, gaming, stuff like that. And like all other days since he'd befriended the guy in Florida Championship Wrestling, Then after eight years he retired, since he didn't want to be in wrestling anymore, he destined himself to become a gamer, which led to meeting some people off of YouTube.

Seth waited for the text that always came around one every day since they was on separate ways when Dean found a stupidly funny joke or picture to send him.

But to his disappointment, the chime on his phone never echoed in his ears. He kept glancing at his phone as he set up the consoles he put for the hour. The TV behind him was showing a old cartoon of some sort.

He went by the small refrigerator for a drink where he heard the familiar sound of his friends Kofi, Roman and Bayley talking from the other room for a UpUpDownDown recording.

He got comfortable, but not completely. He couldn't. Dean wasn't even on the phone like they'd planned. He tried to shrug off the disappointment he felt, but he could never help it.

Dean was the laugh of his day, the one who always got things going, the one out of all of them that got Seth in the mood to laugh and fuck shit up.

He jumped when his phone chimed and he clutched at his chest. "Shit."

He would have to remind himself to turn the volume down while he was right fucking next to it. He shook his head and laughed as he slid his lock screen away. His grin faded when he read _**Message from Kofi.**_

He opened it.

_Kofi_ _-_ _You coming over here?_

He thumbed a quick reply before grabbing his console and started his walk down to where some of the RAW superstars were either talking or just doing normal things and went to join Kofi in his hotel room with the others.

"Sup ladies and gentlemen?" He asked as soon as he was locked and loaded. He hopped in the chair next to Kofi when he was playing some GTA and his character swung by to pick a man up. He saw explosions in the distance.

"Do I even want to know?" He asked and Kofi laughed as they heard Ash's character screaming as she ran in circles engulfed in flames.

"Nope. You don't."

"Shut up and let's blow some shit up my dudes!" Ash yelled into the Skype call.

They did the usual, Kofi recording while Seth, Roman and Ash exploring glitches, shooting each other and innocent pedestrians in the process, calling off the cops then on to fighting on WWE 2K19.

He didn't realize he was being so quiet. But he had a nagging thought in the back of his mind the whole time.

"Duuuude. Hey, Seth." Kofi interrupted his thinking. "You're obviously quiet today."

"What?" He blinked and glanced at his phone for the millionth time. "Am I?"

"Uh yeah." Ash added. "It's fucking peaceful as shit in here! Shhhh! Nobody say a word!" Everyone laughed including himself and he was about to brush the whole thing off when Roman said. "No you guys, we all know that he's only loud and obnoxious when Dean riles him up inside and outside the ring."

"Yeah, you guys are like the terrible twos. You alone is bad enough but get you two together and chaos ensues." Bayley jumped in and giggled. "Where is he anyway? I though we all said one o'clock."

"We did." Seth nodded to himself.

"But I have no fucking clue where he is. Hasn't even text me today." He didn't mean to sound so mad about it. His friends didn't miss his tone and all was quiet for a moment.

"Soo, like... what you're saying is that he texts you every day?" Ash asked him cautiously.

Seth hesitated. "Yes."

"And he hasn't text you yet, per your guys daily routine?"

"Uhh... yes?"

He couldn't help but feel like he was being interrogated. It wasn't like he'd ever talked about their friendship outside of WWE or gaming since Dean had retired. It was just a thing that they had started.

He'd see something that cracked him up, screen shot it, then send it to Dean. His favorite though was getting a text every morning at five o'clock that read, _Good Morning Bitch_. Always accompanied by a tiny little emoji of a stink-eye.

Even if it was five in the fucking morning it still made his day. He couldn't tell you why he felt closer to Dean than all the other people but things were just always off without him. Including himself. And he kind of hated that.

"Sooo." Roman broke him from his thoughts again. "You're either mad that he hasn't talked to you today. Or you're worried."

Seth shrugged and rubbed his face. "Both I guess."

"Fuck!" Ash exploded in anger onto the scene as a barbed-wired chair in a street fight Charlotte hit her, beating the living shit out of her character with a chair, after where everyone had all unconsciously gathered in the crowd to talk to Seth about his problems.

"Well!" Ash stood in front of him in her black and red gear and panda hat.

"Sounds to me like you should call his lazy ass and demand an apology for standing you up!"

Seth laughed. "This isn't Dr. Phil for fuck's sake Ash! He's probably just busy with things."

"Well Mr. Rollins, have you _even_ text him yet to ask where the fuck he is and what is so much more important than you right now?" Ash was practically swinging her hips and doing jazz hands dramatically by the sound of her voice.

Roman was dying of laughter and Bayley was giggling as usual. Kofi was quiet which meant he was going to have something to say when they stop the recording and go do something else.

"No." Seth said and Ash whipped out a surprise attack with a chair at his face. "But I'll do it now! Shit! Hey! Calm down with the chair Ash!"

He pulled out his in-game cell phone and everyone erupted into laughter. He picked up his real phone and walked back a little typing out a message to Dean while everyone was wheezing in the background.

_Seth-_ _Hey man, are you breathing?_

He hit send and watched as Ash and Roman battled it out on the game while he waited.

Twenty minutes later, just when he was starting get really worried and the others annoying the living shit out of him trying to get him back over, his phone chimed. "Hold on guys."

He slid open the message.

_Dean-_ _Fuck. I'm sorry, Seth. I'm busy with family shit right now, but yes I'm breathing. I'll talk to you when I can._

_Seth-_ _It's okay. Do what you need to do._

He turned back to the group where everyone was waiting for the verdict. "He's dealing with family stuff right now guys. But he's alive."

Everyone gave a sigh. "Ooh. Okay."

They continued as usual and Seth made a point to talk and laugh more. Most of it was genuine but a few times it was forced.

After another hour Kofi stopped the recording while the others said their goodbyes to Ash and Seth sat back and rubbed his eyes.

He glanced out the window at the constant flurry of snow and he sighed. Today was practice day, every Wednesday he would head down to a ice rink around where ever they was at and teach some kids how to skate. It was fun, watching them fall the first few times, but in the end they learned. Including in Canada.

So Seth packed his duffle bag and headed out downtown after saying his goodbyes for the day, except for Kofi who was still silent, where he spent the next three hours.

It was cold on the ice but it never phased him, he'd practically lived his dream on it his entire life. It calmed him as his glided in circles after the parents took their kids home from practice.

His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he guided himself to the guardrail where he leaned against it and opened his messages.

It was Kofi.

"God." He muttered before reading. Kofi was a great guy. He'd known him the second longest and he always had his back when it came down to personal things.

But he knew as soon as he said anything about Dean or anyone for that matter, that was even remotely personal Kofi would be the first to talk to him about it.

_Kofi_ _-_ _You were more worried than mad, weren't you?_

Seth read and it took him by surprise because the answer was a yes. Dean never missed a text and never stood him up without an immediate explanation.

_Seth-_ _Yeah, but it's fine now. I'm just weirded out that I was even worried. He was only silent for five hours... and I almost broke down and called him._

_Kofi_ _-_ _Lol. Don't freak out about it man. You care and I know, we all know, that you and Dean are close. Closer than the rest of us."_

Seth bit at his nail.

_Seth-_ _I don't know why._

_Kofi_ _-_ _Hey man, neither do I. Nobody really knows when they get to that point with a person. Just happens. Do you not want to be?_

_Seth-_ _I mean, I don't mind it at all. It's just... Out of all people, he ends up being the one I want to call my best friend and the one I want to call my best friend and I haven't seen him in four years. It's been a long time_ _Koff_ _.._

_Kofi_ _-_ __Nobody has and that says a lot about him. He's a private guy and probably a bit insecure even though he's a fucking social butterfly on the internet._ _

_S_ _eth-_ __Lol, I know this. And I bet he's not even ugly like he thinks he is still._ _

_Kofi_ _-_ __He thinks he's ugly still?_ _

Seth grinned as he replied.

_Seth-_ _Yep. We've talked about it. Says he definitely can't show his real face anymore now that I have because he said he'd be the black sheep. Says we're all too attractive now to have him in the group._

_Kofi_ _-_ __What a dick. Like we care what he looks like now._ _

_Seth-_ __Exactly. But whatever, it's up to him when he wants to meet us face to face again. I'm not pushing him._ _

_Kofi_ _-_ __Let us know when he talks again. I wanna know everything's good with him._ _

_Seth-_ __Will do man._ _

Seth slid his phone back in his pocket and made a few more laps around the rink before it was too late in the day. He drove back to the hotel room in silence, listening to his thoughts running through his head, until he pulled into the parking lot and headed up into his room. He begin his late night stretches and showered before he ate some food then going into a restless night of sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thursday came. Thursdays was for signings and sleeping.

Then Friday came, live events and gaming with Kofi, he still hasn't heard from Dean and wished Randy would stop asking. Not that he cared, the guy was a dick to him half the time, but so was Seth himself. The guilt was boiling in his gut.

Saturday. Seth went out to Davenport with his mother and bought her lunch, catching up on family things. Things were great. But still no text from Dean. He twiddled his thumbs for fucking hours.

Sunday. More live events. More videos with Kofi. More exercise.

Monday. Fun day. Well not too fun. It was more like RAW and UpUpDownDown without Dean.

No 5 A.M. text.

He sighed heavily.

"What's up with you, Seth?" Ash asked when they hit the ground in a splatter of blood and loose limbs from Ben and Ed.

He was silent for a moment and he knew Kofi was listening hard when he swallowed and sighed. "I'm really fucking worried now guys. He hasn't said a word since last Wednesday."

Elias ran over when they spawned. "Yeah it's starting to worry me a bit as well. He's never been away this long. None of us have really."

"Well family stuff can take up a lot of time. Know what I mean?" Ash said as she took a drink of her Pepsi. "So don't worry too much."

Seth huffed. "No, that's what's getting to me. He doesn't have any family. It's just him and his mom. Like, fuck!"

"Seth! It's okay." Randy butted in.

"Well, something could've happened to her and he's having to deal with fuck knows what." Seth said and took a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face. "I just wish he would fucking call me."

"He will. But you've got to stop thinking the worst has happened." Kofi said smoothly. "You hearing me, Seth?"

"I hear you." He said quietly. "I'll give him until tomorrow then I'll call."

"Good plan. Now can we not be so serious? I fucking hate you guys when you guys get serious on me." Ash slipped in blood and got everyone in the lobby laughing and somewhat back to normal.

"Whatever you say, fucker."

"Suck on my dick chicken bitch!"

"Suck my left nut shithead!"

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

He couldn't sleep that night, just sat there looking through his Facebook on his laptop, with a sick feeling in the pit of his gut. He played random games until the sun came up. Since he had a week off, he wasn't surprised about his insomnia. 

 

He would do anything to take his mind off the worry 

 

Anything to stay off of his phone.

 

It took him a few minutes to realize his Skype was on and the group chat he was in was trying to contact him.

 

"Seth." Roman called out.

 

"I'm here.."

 

"Are you alright? You sound tired." Bayley stated and Seth closed his eyes.

"I am."

"Didn't sleep?" Kofi asked.

"Hell no."

"Guys, Dean just texted me!" Roman shouted and Seth's heartbeat nearly shot through the roof.

"What?" 

"I got one too." Bayley piped up. 

"Same here." Kofi said as well.

Seth felt his gut churn. His phone never went off no matter how hard he stared at it.

"Well? What did he say?!" 

Kofi spoke carefully. "He said.. I don't know when I'll be able to get back on with you guys but I've been dealing with some things. It's been hard and I love you guys even if I'm still the annoying brat of the group. But you all have made my life better. And I can't express my appreciation. But I'll get in contact with you guys again... When I get through this."

Seth was silent. His heart thudded in his chest. Why didn't Dean send him a message?

"Uh, Seth?"

He blinked and his phone ranged. His brain was taking it's time in process of the call. 

Dean.

"Guys. He's calling me." He said and answered the phone. Everyone was quiet. 

"Dean?"

"Hey... Seth."

"What's going on? You've been scaring the living shit out of me."

"I.. I'm sorry. " He heard him took a deep breath. It wavered and Seth knew there was something wrong truly wrong. 

"Don't be sorry... Just tell me what's wrong Dean." He could hear the pleading in his voice. The others were quiet in the background. 

Dean choked. "Seth everything is wrong!" He heard a sob and a sniff and his chest felt like it was about to have a heart attack. "Everything that had could possibly go wrong in the past week..  Went fucking wrong!" Dean cried. 

Seth took a deep breath. "Okay, just breathe and tell me what happened." 

Dean's voice was shaking and Seth knew he was trying his best to hold it together for him. "This past month I moved back in with my mother. She'd been real sick and I needed to take care of her. She didn't have anyone else ya know?"

"I know. " He said softly and nodded. 

"I had her in the hospital for a few days. Well she was doing better. A lot better. And I went to work Tuesday and I get a phone call halfway through the day..  She died Seth.. Just went to sleep and never woke up."

His voice broke at the last word and Seth felt tears on the corner of his eyes. "I...  Am so fucking sorry Dean."

"It's okay.. I'm okay.. " He took a breath. "But my dad decided to show up when we were burying her."

"Wait." Seth spoke up. "Your dad? The one who left you when you was 15?"

"That's the one."

"Why?"

"The house is his and I can't get out. I am so fucking stuck here, Seth. I can't even sneeze without getting the shit beat out of me. I mean I'm not a small guy but he's fucking huge. I've tried to fight back but I can't.. I can't get out."

Seth was sure he was about to go into cardiac arrest with how fast his heart was racing. "You don't have anywhere else to go? A friend's house over there?"

Dean gave a small sad laugh. "I don't got any friends. I only have you and the rest of the group. I'm no one in real life anymore. I have no one. Even if I did run he would still find me. He's a fucking drunk."

"Shit Dean."

"Seth, if something happens to me or I don't get out of here... "

Seth couldn't breathe. "Stop!"

"I always considered you my best friend.."

"And you're always will be mine.. " It came out as a whisper. He could barely hear the others freaking out. Dean huffed a laugh but it quickly disappeared. 

"He's coming." He said and Seth feared for him. He was trembling for him. "I'll call you when I can." 

"Dean!" He called out when he heard a yell, a fist meeting a face, and the sound of glass being shattered before the call ended. 

He stared at the screen. "Fuck. Oh my fucking god. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck." 

He dropped the phone and put his head in his hands, rocking back and forth until the speaker of his laptop finally got his attention. 

"Seth! Seth, say something!" Bayley shouted at him through her camera.

"I don't.. I'm going to fucking puke." Seth muttered as he tried to shake the image of Dean, beaten and bloody at that moment. 

Because he was. 

He choked out on a sob. "Oh my god, I can't.."

"Deep breaths buddy." Kofi said calmly even though he felt everything but fine. 

Seth swallowed. There's no way in fucking hell he was going to just sit there and let it keep on happening. He sat up and wiped the tears off of his face with his t-shirt. "Guys."

"Are you okay?"

Seth rubbed his eyes and stood. "I'm going."

"Going where?"

"Cincinnati. I'm the only one who has his address from sending him his Christmas present last week. Kofi, Ro, Bayley tell Hunter I'll have to take leave for a little while. I have to go. He could be fucking dying."

Roman finally spoke up. "Then what the fuck are you still waiting for?! Keep us updated as soon as possible but go now Seth! You are wasting time!"

He didn't say another word, just shut off his call and grabbed his duffle bag and a passport. He was going to find Dean and he was going to bring him back. 

He was going to bring him back home. 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Kofi exhaled. "I can't believe this is freaking happening." 

 

Bayley agreed. "I've never heard Seth this upset before, that was scary as hell to listen too, but Seth... Holy shit."

 

"He'll find him." Roman said assuredly. 

 

"Yeah. He will." Kofi nodded to himself. "There's no way I'm getting or doing anything else done today until I hear from Seth."

 

Roman and Bayley nodded. "Agreed."

 

"We should let the others know what's going on." Kofi said just as he seen that Ash texted him. "Dean sent them a text as well. Ash just sent me a text about it."

 

"Alright, I'll get another Skype call set up and send you guys an invite." Bayley said and left the group chat. 

 

"This is insane, I never though anything like this would happen.."

 

Roman said quietly before he left. 

 

"I don't think anyone did.."

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Seth dozed on and off as he stared out at the clouds from his seat on the plane. The lady next to him asked him multiple times if he was alright.

 

"I'm alright. I'm just trying to get to my friend." He said and wiped at his face to find it wet with tears he didn't even know were there.

 

"Hmm... You flying across the country to get there?" 

 

He nodded. "Ohio. I'm taking a connected flight when we land in Indianapolis."

 

She smiled sadly, but didn't ask him anymore questions. He slept for the remaining time of the flight until she shook him to wake up when they were landing. 

 

He felt his nerves twisting and when the plane was finally settled and on the ground, he grabbed his duffle bag from the storage compartment and everyone left the plane. The airport was buzzing and his next flight was leaving in fifteen minutes. He is a little happy that there wasn't any fans to come up to him. He found a bathroom and brushed his teeth with a disposable toothbrush he found in a vendor.

 

He washed his face and did his business as he took one look at himself in the mirror. 

 

He looked sick. 

 

Pale.

 

"Fuck.." He mumbled to himself. 

 

He walked out with the duffle bag over his shoulder and pushed his hair out of his face. There were people everywhere and he got second glances from some of them. Some of them gave looked at him like he was going to fall over at any second now.

 

"Sir!" He heard and turned to find the lady that had sat with him next to him on the plane. Seth stopped walking and waited for her. She smiled when she approached him.

 

"Here, take this. When you land in Ohio and rent a car, give them this. You shouldn't have a problem getting anything you need."

 

He looked at the card that was now resting in the palm of his hand. It had the name of the rental place and her picture on the front.

 

On the back she had wrote down a few random numbers. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

 

"I.. Thank you.." He looked at the card again. "Barbara."

 

She gave him a quick hug and smiled again. "I hope you get there safely and I hope your friend is okay. Good luck."

 

She held out her hand and he shook it, giving her a smile back. "Name's Seth."

 

"Well Seth it was nice to meet you. Now go catch your flight dear." She took his shoulders and turned him around, pushing him towards his gate. He gave her a wave as he looked back and she watched him go like a worried mother.

 


	6. Chapter 6

He was wide awake for the next flight. Seth didn't mind flying, but he didn't like it. He rather be in a car on the road, watching everything outside go by. Small towns always caught his eye. The people going around about their daily lives.  

 

It was interesting the way everything moved around him. He was in his own little world and so was everyone else's. 

 

Everyone had their own lives, their problems, their significant others, their good moments, their bad moments, everyone did. 

 

He wondered what Dean was doing at that very moment. 

 

Was he ok?  

 

Was he still lying down bloody on the floor? 

 

Or was he locked in his room, curled around himself on the bed, wondering where his best friend was?

 

"I'm coming Dean.." He whispered to himself as the airport came into view outside.

 


	7. Chapter 7

It was a lot warmer than he expected as he got off the plane. He was used to the cold since he moved up to Canada a few years ago, but again it kind of shocked him being back near Ohio. 

 

The temperature on the television in the lobby read 50 degrees as he passed. That was very warm, compared to the daily canadian weather in late December. He slipped on his black jacket and headed down to the car rental where he approached the man behind the counter. 

 

"How can I help you today, sir?" He asked cheerfully. 

 

"I need to get a car. Oh and here's this." Seth held up a finger while he dug around in his pockets for the card. The guy took it and immediately smiled. "Oh of course, you must be Seth. Mrs. Barbara said you can whatever you need. Free of charge."

 

Seth grinned again at the kindness of this random stranger. "I need a car with the biggest amount of storage space. And I need one with a GPS on it, quickly, if that's not too much to ask. I'm kind of in a hurry." 

 

The man smiled and gave out a nod. "Absolutely. Come follow me." 

 

Seth followed the man when he walked out from behind the counter and into the next building. He picked off a set of keys off the wall and and guided him to a white Suburban. Seth took the keys when the man offered them. "Thank you so much. I've should have this back in a day or two." 

 

"Oh take your time sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

 

"No thank you, this will do." He smiled and shook the man's hand. He adjusted the seats and cranked up the heater when he got in. Before Seth pulled out of the lot he pulled out his phone and dialed Roman's number. As it ranged, Seth punched in Dean's address into the GPS on the dashboard. 

 

"Seth?"

 

"Hey Rome, I'm in Indianapolis now. I landed about twenty minutes ago, and I'm about to head on down to Cincinnati now."

 

He heard a sigh of relief from his friend and grinned. 

 

"Okay! That's good, I've got you on speaker so Kofi and Bayley heard you."

 

"Hey guys."

 

"How long until you get to him, do you think?" He heard Kofi. 

 

"Well according to the GPS, it's about a two hour drive from here. I've got a full tank of gas and the roads look pretty empty so it shouldn't be long now." 

 

"Alright! I talked with Hunter and there was a little disagreement with Vince butting in but I explained the situation and you're good to go Seth."

 

Seth smiled softly at his friend's comment, he was very lucky to have friends like Kofi, Roman and Bayley. "Thank you so much you guys, I owe you guys big time!" 

 

"Hey you don't need to owe us anything we got you throughout it all. Now go save him Seth. He needs you more than anything and we won't keep you waiting any longer, just let us know what's going on when you get there!" Bayley said and Seth said his goodbyes before ending the call.

 

He pulled out into the highway and made sure he had something to drink in his bag when something caught his eye in the bag, he leaned over and reached inside where the little pocket was and his eyes widened at the object. 

 

It was a picture of the both of them. 

 

He didn't know what it was doing in there but it brought so many memories he couldn't help but wiping his eye just looking at it. 

 

It had been four years since Seth last seen Dean, nobody has really ever since he left. 

 

He couldn't help but wonder if his best friend was still the same person he once knew. At least that's what Ash says. 

 

All Seth knew was he had to go save him.. 

 

His best friend.


	8. Chapter 8

"What the hell do you want now??" Dean yelled at his father who stood drooping against the front doorway, drunk as always. He was standing in the front yard because he knew the man won't come out during the daytime, where the neighborhood could see what was going on.

 

"What the hell do you want huh?! Huh?? Your wife is dead who you haven't seen in almost twenty years! Your only son let's you be his punching bag! He cleans up your fucking messes! What else do you want from me??"

 

Dean was burning alive with anger, hr could feel the tears forming into the corners of his eyes. His lip was stinging from splitting it last night and he could still taste the blood on his teeth.

 

"Watch your tone with me boy!" 

 

Dean laughed and for a moment he thought the man might actually step into the yard, but he didn't.

 

The neighbors were looking out of their windows in question but he shook his head at them. There wouldn't be any good to call of cops again. It obviously didn't work the past week and it wouldn't work now.

 

"Fuck you dad!" He flipped him off as he turned around and headed off of the driveway. "FUCK YOU!" 

 

"GET BACK OVER HERE YOU WORTHLESS BITCH!"

 

Dean just shook his head as he walked off pulling his black leather jacket on. 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Turn left. After fifty yards you will arrive at your destination."

 

Seth stopped the truck a few houses down from Dean's before he got out into the cold. It probably wasn't smart to just walk up to his house and knock, given the fact that his dad would probably answer the door. It was a nice neighborhood, quiet, quaint. 

 

Even though something dark was going on behind closed doors. He decided to try the neighbor to the left of Dean's house first before deciding what to do. Seth approached the door and knocked. A moment later a middle aged woman answered and looked up at him worriedly.

 

"Hi."

 

She smiled nervously. "Hello, can I help you?"

 

"My name is Seth. I'm here for Dean." He motioned to the house to the right. "He's my best friend. I understand the situation he's in and I'm here to take him home with me. So would you happen to know if he's home, ma'am? I'm sure you understand why I don't want to go banging on his door right now."

 

She gave a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh thank God! I've been worried sick about that boy. We've been listening to them scream and fight for a whole week and I've been scared that Daniel would take it too far and kill the poor thing." She clutched at her chest. "And yes, I do understand. I wouldn't go knocking on that man's door if you paid me. You just missed Dean. He managed to get out of the house for a while. Went walking that way just ten minutes ago." She pointed down the road.

 

"Thank you so much." He gave her a nod and she grabbed his hand before he turned away. "No, angel. Thank you." She squeezed his hand. "You're saving his life. Now you find him and take him as far from here as you can and don't ever come back."

 

"Yes ma'am. That's the plan." He squeezed her hand back and he walked back to the truck. There was no telling where Dean had gone, but he drove down the road for a while until it came to what appeared to be the center of town. Tiny shops littered with trinkets and what not filled old brick buildings. It was a very small lively part of town. 

 

There was a steady bustle of people walking down either sidewalk but a black leather jacket caught his eye. But it was lost in the crowd as soon as he gave it a second glance. He searched and searched but couldn't catch sight of it again. So he turned onto the next street which was just as crowded as the last. He pulled over once he found enough room to park on the side of the road and got out.

 

The crowd easily moved past him as he looked up and down the street for any hint of a black leather jacket. Seth didn't know why. Dean could be wearing anything, but based on his choices from his wrestling days and online appel on his channel, he had a big hunch that he wore that black leather jacket in real life more often than not. Just like Seth wore his gear on the games.

 

And then there it was, walking right at him until it took a sharp right and headed down another street. It was quick but he saw a face, one that was fair but ruined with bruises and a busted lip. It had to be Dean. No one else had on such a leather jacket.

 

Seth's heartbeat picked up the pace as he quickened his steps to keep up. He kept his distance but kept his eyes on the back of the guy's blonde hair he remembered. It flickered to and fro against the cold wind and he shivered when the anxiety took hold of his nerves. 

 

He looked just the same..  tall, his height, not big, but not thin. He was lean with broad shoulders. Except his curls were back and it looked like his stubble had came back.

 

If that was him at all, but Seth had a feeling, an extremely good feeling that it was Dean. 

 

There was a town square with a small park up ahead and he watched the guy look both ways before jogging across the road. Seth watched him find an empty park bench and sit by himself. He ran his hands through his hair and pulled a phone from his pocket and put it to his ear.

 

Seth took a deep breath and swallowed when his phone rang in his pocket. He slid his thumb across the screen and put it to his ear.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Seth, hey."

 

"Are you okay?"

 

He watched the guy shake his head. "I'm okay, for now. I got out of the house, sitting in the park. I don't think I'm going back though. He'll probably kill me this time."

 

"Why?"

 

"I threw some choice words at him before I left." Dean said and Seth could hear the strain in his voice. He was about to break. "I don't know what to do now."

 

"Just calm down. Everything is gonna be fine." Seth said as he made his way across the street and toward the figure on the park bench.

 

"Yeah. I'm just really fucking scared and..." Dean choked and his voice trembled. Seth watched him wipe at his eyes as he approached him from the side. He watched his lips as he said. "And I just really wish you were here. It's stupid, I know."

 

"That's not stupid, stupid." Seth said and smiled when Dean did.

 

"Just a little."

 

"Not really." Seth ended the call and put his phone in his pocket then said. "Since I'm already here."

 

Dean looked up and over at him and stood, but he froze. He continued to stand there motionless until Seth saw his chin tremble and his head drop. He walked toward him and Dean reached a hand out and Seth took it, pulling him into a tight hug.

 

"Ouch."

 

"Sorry." Seth loosened his grip. They stayed like that for a while until Dean pulled back and looked him hard in the eye.

 

Seth looked him over thoroughly. He wasn't what he expected at all. He had light skin, red lips, dimples in his cheeks when he smiled, and the bluest eyes he'd ever remembered.

 

His ears were pierced with small black studs and he could see a tattoo showing on his neck just beneath the collar of his shirt. Dean wiped his face with the back of his hand and winced when he touched the bruise on his left eye.

 

"You look like shit." Seth said and Dean gave him a smile. Wide with the dimples.

 

"I can't believe you're fucking here."

 

"What? You really thought I'd just leave you here after that phone call? I left right then and there." Seth shrugged. "That's what brothers do for each other."

 

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. "I'm just.. not used to having anyone do anything for me anymore. Other than mom." He shrugged. "I mean, nothing like flying down from Canada overnight."

 

"I'm just glad you're not dead." Seth said and pulled him into another soft hug. "It's nice to see you again, by the way."

 

Dean laughed softly. "Yeah. You, too."

 

Seth pulled away and they sat on the bench together. "Now, I'd ask you how you feel about Canada, but it's pointless because I'm not letting you stay here either."

 

Dean twiddled his thumbs before looking over at him. "So it's you are coming with me or you're coming with me?"

 

Seth grinned. "Yeah, pretty much."

 

Dean nodded. "You really serious about this Seth?"

 

"Yes. I thought it over for like... two whole seconds."

 

Dean giggled and for a moment Seth could hear the goofy laugh of the normal Dean Ambrose. But it was gone just as quickly and the wind gave a big gust, making them both pull their jackets around them a little tighter.

 

"Okay." Dean nodded and grinned at him. Seth stared for a little longer than he wanted to, but Dean was somehow... different.

 

"Okay. Then let's get this shit started." Seth stood and pulled Dean to his feet.

 

"What are we doing?"

 

"Is there a shipping store around here?"

 

Dean nodded. "Three blocks that way." He pointed behind them.

 

"Okay, how many boxes do you think it'll take to pack up all your things?" Seth looked over at him.

 

He shrugged. "Uhh.. I'd say, like, seven medium boxes. I have next to nothing anymore. Like, ten shirts, my consoles and monitors I use for my channel. The rest is keepsakes. Not much. I already downsized once when I moved back to the house at the first of December." Dean licked his lips.  "Some of them is still packed actually, so not even that many."

 

"Alright, I parked not far from here." Seth started walking in the direction Dean pointed in, but didn't get too far until he felt a hand on his arm.

 

'Wait. How are we going to get in there to get my things?" He furrowed his brows. "If I go home, he'll probably strangle me to death."

 

"Leave that to me."

 

"I have a bad feeling about this Seth.." 

 

"Trust me Dean. I got this under control."


	10. Chapter 10

Seth loaded the boxes into the back of the truck and they both got in, driving back to Dean's house. He was nervous as he sat in the passenger seat tapping his knees with his fingers.

 

"Relax." 

 

"I'm trying here.." Dean took a deep breath as they pulled into the yard.

 

"Come on." Seth said and they got out. But instead of going to Dean's, Seth led them to the neighbor's house. He knocked and the same woman answered, this time she was more than happy.

 

"Hi again. Can I ask a huge favor for you?" He said with a smile. 

 

"Of course. Anything you need?" She beamed. 

 

"Can Dean sit with you for a few minutes? I am going to have a little chat with his dad and when you see me come outside I want you to call the cops and tell them that there's a man running around the yard with a knife in his hand." Seth finished and the woman looked at him, eyebrows inching above her forehead.

 

"Yes I suppose I can do that. Come on in sweetie." She motioned for Dean to come in with her but he stood still on the porch gaping at Seth. 

 

"What the hell are you going to do?"

 

Seth huffed out a laugh and guided him inside the door. "Don't worry Dean. I'll be fine. I just need to know something." 

 

"What is it?" 

 

"What makes him so angry?"

 

"Well besides everything... Probably the fact that I'm bisexual." Dean said and waited for Seth to give him a dirty look but he never did.

 

"Okay, stay here until the cops come. In fact you may want to call them now." Seth shut the door behind him and Dean watched with Ms. Alexandra as Seth crossed the yard. He listened as Ms. Alexandra phoned on in it. In the meantime he tried to control the fast beating of his heart.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Seth wrapped his knuckles into a fist and knocked on the door. And waited. And waited for another five minutes until it swung open to reveal a huge burly man, he must be at least 7 freaking feet tall! 

 

Seth glanced up into his glazed up looking eyeballs and smirked. 

 

"Hey there big guy! I'm Seth, I wanted to talk to you about your son."

 

He grunted. "What about him?"

 

"May I come in?" He asked but then just shoved the bigger man aside and invited himself in. "Nice kitchen you have here. You probably don't know how to use it do you?"

 

"The hell did you just say?"

 

Seth grinned again as he found a gun on the wall and placed it on the counter in front of him, making sure Daniel was paying attention. 

 

"He told me you don't like the fact that he likes girls.. And guys." Seth said and the man's face turned red, he practically could see the steam coming off of his face. He was beyond angry now. "Well, I don't agree with that, I think you should love and support your son no matter what his preferences are... Homophobic asshole."

 

Seth made his way closer to the front door slowly as Daniel his way running his hand through the counter. The gun was now by the man's fingers just like he expected it to be. 

 

"So, we're going to get his things and leave this hell hole, and you can drink yourself to sleep every night knowing that you're alone."

 

Seth finally heard the sirens in the distance and turned the knob behind him as Daniel lunged forward at him. 

 

"NO ONE TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT!" Daniel shouted as he grabbed Seth by his jacket. 

 

He punched the drunken man in the face and ran out of the house while Daniel shot through the glass on the door missing Seth. 

 

He ran out of the porch and heard another voice calling to him while Daniel stumbled towards him. 

 

"SETH!"

 

Dean ran outside when he saw his father burst out the door with the gun in his hand, pointing at him. His breathing hitched as Daniel looked at him square in the eye and tripped to the ground, pulling the trigger on accident. 

 

Dean felt a pain on his back to realize Seth tackled him sideways just as Daniel missed him and hit a car window near them. Luckily both of them didn't get any injuries from the glass on the car window and both men quickly got to their feet, Dean looked at how Seth got in front of him as they moved back, as if Seth was shielding him from his father. 

 

Seth kept Dean behind him and kept their distance in case Daniel wasn't that drunk as he thought the man was. The sirens grew louder and soon they saw lights. Daniel got to his feet fuming and started stumbling towards Seth with the gun. 

 

There was a small crowd of people in watching in the distance just as four cop cars came and all of them came out of their cars each with their own gun towards the man. Two of the officers helped Dean and Seth back along across the street. "Sir! Drop your weapon now!" The deputy yelled and pointed his gun out at Daniel. 

 

Seth watched the man's eyes narrow as he stared passed him. He turned his head and there stood Dean, standing beside him glaring at his father. The blue and red lights were flashing all around there and none of it seemed real. He was here, Dean was three inches away, and he could feel the heat radiating off of him. Seth had never thought they would meet like this again. He always thought Dean would suck it up and go back to see everyone else back when he used to wrestle or go to an invited gaming convention where Kofi would supposedly find him there and tell everyone about it.

 

"On your knees!" The deputy yelled at Daniel again and the man gave in, dropping the gun and to his knees on the cold hard grass.

 

Dean moved closer to Seth until their arms were flush against each other.

 

He turned his head slightly and said under his breath. "You're my fucking hero you know that right?" 

 

Seth grinned. "You know I always have your back De. Always have and always will."

 

Dean gave him a smile back, the one smile Seth never thought he would see again. But for some reason it made his heart start beating fast. He didn't know why but he shook it off.

 

After they arrested Daniel and told everyone on the street that everything has gone back to normal, Seth gave a statement to the police and a medical made sure both men didn't sustained any injuries, Seth backed the Suburban into Dean's yard, close to the front door, and they pulled out the boxes and the packaging tape.

 

"Shall we?" He asked and Dean opened the door with a smirk on his face.

 

Surprisingly Dean was a clean person, neat and organized. Seth remembered he always used to be messy when it comes to cleaning but now it was another thing Seth didn't expect from his close friend. He expected clothes strewn all over the floor and empty Coke Vanilla cans stacked a mile high. 

 

But everything was in order. His bed was made, on the side of the room with a small table, along with his gaming set up across from the room, although his curtains were closed but it was probably due to everything that happened in the course of the two weeks Dean had lived here. They started carrying the boxes that were in the room and to the back of the truck, then they started packing up everything else. 

 

"Do you still have that overnight bag Roman gave you, the one where you can change clothes, toothbrush essentials?" Seth asked and Dean nodded. Walking over to his closet and pulling out the small red duffle bag from inside. Seth was untangling console and computer wires while speaking to him. "Hey Dean? I always wondered, out of everything you wanted to do after you stopped wrestling... Why a gaming channel, what made you start using the internet and do something like this?" 

 

Dean sighed and stared at the wall for a few moments before looking back at Seth. "It was because of you to be honest.. I sort of went to YouTube one day when I was in Las Vegas still..  Do you remember you sent me a link to that UpUpDownDown channel and I saw you play with new day?.. I just watched a bunch of videos and figured might as well do it ya know. That was how I started even though I didn't know the shit I was doing in the beginning of all of this... That's how I met Ash, you know the girl who just plays horror games and scared the living shit out of herself for the entertainment and plays with you guys sometimes, she was also the reason why I started YouTube even though I don't like to show my face on camera.. So I'm like a mystery type I guess... It was also a coping mechanism since Renee and I divorced a few years back, was diagnosed with depression at the least and still lived in Vegas until I sold it to be with my mother again and now.." 

 

He trailed off as he wiped a tear that came out of his eye, but he managed to collect his emotions in check. 

 

Seth stared at him, biting his cheek inside of his mouth, because he knew about what happened, since he begged Ash in the past to tell him what had been going on with Dean, but it seemed she didn't give him enough info about all of that happened to Dean. It was heartbreaking. 

 

Seth broke out of his thoughts though when he heard Dean laugh, he saw Dean holding the Christmas gift he sent him. 

 

It was a T-shirt of the Shield back then. He saw Dean folded it up and stuffed it in his bag. "I never gotten to say thank you for the gift, reminds me of the good ole days back then."

 

Seth just couldn't help but smile and remembered the picture he found in his own bag. 

 

Right at this moment, Seth just could never forget what just happened. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Here Comes Goodbye
> 
> Artist: Rascal Flatts
> 
> (Recommend listening to the songs that came along with this whole book but you don't have to XD)

As they went back to packing, Seth checked the discs for Dean and unplugged some more console cords, he knew exactly where the wires are and everything courtesy of Kofi. He wrapped up the discs and console in bubble wrap, couldn't help at times to pop some of the bubbles which made Dean smirk every time he looked over at him. 

 

After that Seth looked around the room for more things to pack, Dean didn't really have that much sadly. 

 

All of the clothes he had fit in one box to themselves and keepsakes in another. His games, CD's, some posters and magazines, and that was it. 

 

There was nothing else to pack and there was one smaller box left. Seth put down the box in his hands when Dean sat on his bed and rubbed his eyes. 

 

"What's wrong Dean?" Seth asked him, trying to stop the anxiety that was threatened to surface. 

 

What if Dean changed his mind? 

 

What if he didn't want to go? 

 

"Nothing. I just got this fucking migraine for a week since this all started. He hijacked the Tylenol as soon as he got here.. Stupid fucker."

 

Seth exhaled and unclenched his fists. His anxiety disappeared as well. "Why don't you go sit in the truck and relax. I'll get the rest of your stuff. "

 

Dean hesitated for a moment but eventually nodded and let Seth pull him to his feet. He watched him get into the truck from the front door and turned back to grab the last few boxes. Something caught his eye at the end of the hallway. 

 

It was a small stack of thick books on the table.  

 

Curiosity got the best of Seth as he silently made his way over and picked one up only to find it was photo albums, all filled up to the brim with memories, pictures of him when he was a small child, growing up. 

 

Seth bit his lip in thought before he picked them all up and placed them in the last empty box. He passed by what was Dean's mother's room he assumed. It was also kept neat and clean except for the destruction of clothes and beer cans his father left behind the past week.  

 

Dean needed to have something of hers to keep with him. He glanced around the room and there sat on the dresser was a small jewelry box standing alone. Seth opened it slowly to find only a few rings and bracelets, but what caught his eye was the tiny picture that was wedged in the corner of the mirror.  

 

It was Dean and his mother, locked in an embrace that only a mother could give and he could feel the emotion by it. He closed the box and took it with him. He placed it in the box with the albums and taped it up before loading it into the back of the truck with the others. 

 

He gave everything one last glance before closing the front door and getting behind the wheel. He gave Ms. Alexandra a wave as they pulled out of the driveway. She smiled and waved before she walked through her own door. 

 

Once they headed out, Seth looked over to Dean. 

 

"Hey."

 

He had his head propped up against his arm on the window and he looked even worse than before.

 

"Hm?" Was all he mumbled.

 

"Which way to the cemetery?" Seth asked and Dean opened his eyes and sat up.

 

"Take a left up here and follow it down a bit. It'll be on the right."

 

Seth gave him a nod and they drove in silence watching the bare trees fly by one by one until he saw the stone sign. He turned right and into the cemetery. 

 

The sun was finally out and it shone through the trees that filled the area. It was peaceful, beautiful, and he looked over to find Dean staring out the window at the scenery as well.

 

"It rained that day." He said and Seth knew he meant the funeral. He looked tired the more he looked at him, his blue eyes looked grey in the sun and the bags beneath his eyes seemed darker.

 

"When's the last time you slept?" He asked and Dean shrugged.

 

"I don't know." He pointed out ahead of them. "She's in the middle. Just stop up there."

 

Seth pulled over and put the truck in park, leaving the heat on as they got out. He followed behind Dean through the headstones and fake flowers until they came to a mound of pale dirt surrounded by displays upon displays of beautiful flowers.

 

Real ones. 

 

Ones that would wilt soon from the weather.

 

A small temporary name template was sitting to the side. 

 

Sarah.

 

"Sarah." Seth said and Dean looked at him as he continued to talk. "I would like to say that even though I never got the pleasure of meeting you over the years, I still think you're awesome. Because without you and your awesome ways Dean here would've never come into existence and grown into the awesome person that he is. So thank you."

 

Seth glanced at Dean who was grinning with his hands in his pockets as he looked down at the mound of dirt.

 

"I'll be in the truck. Take your time." Seth gave his shoulder a light squeeze and he walked away.

 

Dean watched him go and for a moment he got lost in the way Seth walked. The way he held his shoulders back properly, the way he turned and looked back at him. 

 

For just a moment. But he slapped himself mentally. Seth was so far off limits it was fucking hilarious to even think about it. He smiled at his stupidity like he always did.

 

Just laugh it off, no one will know. It always worked that way no matter how bad it actually hurt him. Just laugh.

 

But Seth. Seth was different. Seth cared. Seth would join in, call him an idiot, and even though he knew Seth didn't mean it like the others did...

 

He always apologized.

 

He'd text him after, every time, just to say. "Hey, you know I didn't mean it right?"

 

And he'd always say. "Yes bitch I know. And you don't have to apologize to me but you do it anyway."

 

And Dean would smile as he curled up in his sheets. He had a friend, no best friend, the one who is miles and miles away, but he had one. He had someone that gave a shit about his feelings. 

 

It was nice. 

 

Dean looked back down at the incomplete grave that still didn't have a headstone. It would take weeks for them to get it done and he wouldn't be here to see it.

 

"Hey, Mom." He said quietly and looked around. It felt stupid, talking to nothing, but he had things he needed to say even if it was to the memory of his mother. "I'm leaving. Getting out, like you always wanted me to do now... Dad showed up and beat the fuck out of me, so that was great. But Seth's here, the one I always talk about nowadays. He's taking me to Canada, his new home. I don't really know what I'll do there or how I'll like it but he'll be there..." He swallowed and glanced at the truck. "He's always been there and I know what's going to happen if I go with him and I'm fucking terrified..."

 

He took a deep breath and watched his breath run away with the wind as he exhaled. "But I know what you would tell me. So this is goodbye for now, Mom. I love you."

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you good?" Seth asked him when he got back in the truck, into the heat. He rubbed his face, his eyes was hurting but he felt alright. He looked at his close friend behind the wheel. 

 

"I'm good." Seth smiled back and pulled his shades down as they drove off. "Onward!!"

 

They laughed together as they drove into town again. Dean told him about a few of the shops and the crazy old people who still sat on the same bench and said the same things every time someone even passed them. He talked more than he ever had and Seth listened and laughed and joked around with him. It just was like always between them in the old days. 

 

"So you work where again?" 

 

Dean pointed to a small bookstore in between two large buildings, you could barely even see the store. 

 

"There."

 

Seth pulled over and they both got out, Dean leading him into the small building. He held the door open for him as well as the bell chiming on the door. 

 

"I only work here when they need me. The owner was really good friends with my mother and I grew up with her son." Dean looked around for a moment but didn't see anyone around. 

 

Seth loved the smell of books, it was a guilty pleasure honestly. He pulled an old book off of the shelf and flipped through the book while taking a deep breath. He grinned when Dean smiled at him. 

 

"I honestly love doing that too."

 

"Dean!"

 

Seth nearly jumped as a short dark-redhead girl peered around the corner at them. "What the hell happened to you?" 

 

Dean took her hands and pulled them off of his face. "I'm fine. It was my dad, but I'm leaving Percy, that's why I'm here."

 

Seth watched her face dropped. She was so cute and small and the way she treated Dean was very sister like.

 

"Where are you going?" She asked and looked past Dean to meet Seth's eyes. "Are you going with him?" 

 

Seth nodded and put his hands in his jacket pockets 

 

"Percy this is Seth." Dean said and Percy froze before cutting him with a surpressed smirk on her face. 

 

Dean rolled his eyes. "Percy don't embarrass me." He muttered and she grinned.

 

"Nice to meet you Seth." She gave him a wave.

 

"You too, Percy."

 

"Canada." Dean faked a cough getting her attention again.

 

"That's... Really far away.." She tapped her finger against her lip. "But if it's what you want, then I'm happy for you. I assume you came to get your stuff?" 

 

"Yeah." He said and made his way into the room in the back of the store where there was a small box that he had kept his things in. Old photos of his CZW days and ones of him and Percy when they were kids, notes, bracelets Percy had made him, a book or two that he loved to read. 

 

He put the lid on it and walked back out to Seth smelling another book 

 

"Will you let Mr. Hale know, Percy?" 

 

She beamed. "Absolutely. I'm going to miss you telling stories and your corny jokes and your laughter." 

 

Seth smiled. Dean's jokes and laughter was beyond crazy. It's what made Dean... Dean. 

 

He let them say their goodbyes and walked outside when he suddenly felt a hand grab his arm. 

 

"Take care for him Seth. I know you two are very close, he always talks about you, but I don't know if he's ever told you but he's extremely insecure and very shy even around people he knows... He doesn't like to be put in the spotlight. Promise to take good care of him and don't ever leave him alone. You got it?"

 

"I keep my promises Percy.. Thank you for taking care of him.. " Seth grinned down at her and she waved them off when they got back on the truck. 

 

"Okay... So shipping store?" Dean asked and Seth nodded, putting on his seatbelt.

 

"Yep, shipping store we go! And hey put your seatbelt on man. I ain't tryna get to jail here." They both cracked up as Seth got out of the parking space and drove down the road to UPS. 

 

They got all of the boxes into the store and Seth asked the man for overnight shipping so it would all be there by the time they got home. Seth repeated that in his head as they walked through the airport side by side. 

 

Seth had lived alone for the past five years and he knew he always had a spare bedroom. But he never used it and had never looked for anyone to fill up the space. Mostly it was because he travelled a lot. He never looked for anyone to share his bed for that matter. Relationships were something he didn't like wasting his time on now. It just seemed to go nowhere and they were boring as hell. He just liked the quiet. 

 

                       ----------

 

"Close your eyes." He said softly as Dean tapped his fingers on his leg as the plane picked up speed on the runway. Seth watched him breathe slowly to calm himself down. He shut his eyes when he told him to. 

 

"That makes it worse. Fuck planes, you know I always hate this stuff.. " 

 

Seth laughed then grabbed his hand to keep it still and Dean squeezed his fingers hard when the pain left the pavement. It shook for a moment and then smoothly leveled itself out. It took Dean a minute but he relaxed and released Seth's fingers and exhaled heavily. 

 

"Can I get you two anything?" A flight attendant asked after they were in the air for a while. 

 

"Yeah, just some aspirin and water please." Seth said and gave her a smile when she handed him the items. 

 

"Thank you." 

 

He turned and handed the stuff to Dean who accepted it gratefully before swallowing the two pills in a hurry.

 

"Now shut your eyes and go to sleep, this one is a long flight, there's no connector, so sleep big boy, it's gonna be awhile." Seth told him and Dean didn't argue. He dropped his head back and shut his eyes. A few minutes later his head fell to the side and hit Seth's shoulder. 

 

A grin spread across his face as he pulled his phone out and took a picture of the both of them. The first of many more memories to come, he was sure about this. Before he sent the photo to the group chat, he found a stink eye emoji and zoomed it close to how Dean's head was and stuck it there. 

 

Seth- Got him that Canada bound baby! 

 

He typed it out then he attached the picture and sent it to the group. Seth rested his head back for a while and was about to be knocked out asleep when his phone buzzed a few times. He looked at his phone and typed his password to see the messages. 

 

Kofi- Now that's adorable :) 

 

Randy- Awesome. Glad he's alright. 

 

A few minutes later it buzzed again.

 

Ash- Awh come on Seth, you get to see his face! That's not fair man lol! 

 

Seth tried not to laugh out loud. 

 

Bayley- Yay you got him! 

 

Roman- Sweet we got our brotha back! 

Elias- Nice. 

 

Ash- Come on Seth, just give us a little peek, I never get to see his face on camera my dude. 

 

Seth- No Ash.. That's his decision too. I'm not taking it away. 

 

Ash- Shit, calm your ding dong balls. Getting all overprotective and shit lol😏

 

Randy- Lmao Ash is kind of right Seth. 

 

Seth- Randy...

 

Ash- Hell yeah! See 👀he agrees with me.. For once in his life xD

 

Bayley- So was it that bad? 

 

Seth- He had just got out of the house and was at the park when he called me, upset and everything. He's pretty beat up bad, has a black eye, split lip, I'm sure he's hurt in other places, because I hurt him when I hugged him. 

 

Roman- That's messed up.. I'm just really fucking glad you got to him man. 

Elias- So.. Is he ugly still? 

 

Kofi- Lol what the hell Elias? 

 

Bayley- Yeah, we don't care what he looks like. As long as he's okay. 

 

Randy- Yeah is he ugly? 

 

Seth- What? Randy, Elias stfu, You guys, no he's not ugly, he's never has been ya weirdos. 

 

Ash- DETAILS! 

 

Randy- Spill the tea. 

 

Bayley and Kofi- Yes!! 

 

Seth shook his head and looked down, giving them details wouldn't hurt. 

 

Seth- Alright jeez, you guys are so nosy. He's actually changed a little. Like he's pretty.. 

 

Randy- Pretty? 

 

Elias- Define the definition of pretty. 

 

Randy- He may be way more prettier than you and Seth here, I mean you kinda look like Seth's long lost twin that you guys gotta go to Maury for the results😂

 

Seth- RANDY KEITH ORTON! 

 

Kofi- Ooh that was good man lol

 

Elias- Fuck off Randy. ✌

 

Randy- 😏😏😏

 

Roman- I'm crying over here😂😂😭😭

 

Seth- Oh my god you guys.. 

 

Ash- Y'all shut the fuck up before me and Bayley gotta cut off every single one of your balls here! Btw Randy that was hilarious 😭😂

 

Bayley- I have no interest in doing that.. But seriously Seth spill the deets! 

Seth- Uughhhhh.. 

 

Ash- She's right! We need more details dickcheese. 

 

Seth- Okay! Calm the fuck down. Jesus.. He's got his curls back, he shaved but he's got a stubble, he seems to haven't tanned in a long time.. 

 

He paused. 

 

Roman- Annnnnddd? 

 

Seth- Annnddd he does have those really red lips, like where you lick them so much. And he has these dimples in his cheeks when he smiles. I've never seen him smile like that before tbh. 

 

Ash- Well holy fuck! Dimples means he's even hotter! Admit it!! 

 

Seth- What? 

 

Kofi- Seth, if he's gotten hotter just say it. 

 

Bayley- Oh my god, I'm with Roman and we're both dying over here😂😂

 

Roman- You guys are killing us over here! 

 

Seth- I don't know anymore! He's got that kind of face that's strange. Well different. But you can't stop looking at him because you don't know what it is. I don't even know. 

 

Elias- I believe the term your looking for is mysterious. 

 

Bayley- Ooh! Dean the mysterious! I love it! 

 

Randy- Dean The Mysterious? Ain't that bad. 

 

Ash- YEP I CALLED IT! HE'S DEFINITELY HOT! 

 

Ash- He has the dimples, the beautiful blue eyes and has the mysterious face that he definitely never shows on his videos. Still totally hot! 

 

Roman- Just say he's hot Seth! 

 

Seth rolled his eyes, but he couldn't keep himself from laughing under his breath. Dean moved beside him but quickly went still once Seth did. He looked down at him sleeping hard on his shoulder and observed his features again. The more he looked, the prettier he got if you took the bruising and the busted lip. 

 

Seth- He got his ears pierced. Tiny black spuds, I can see a tattoo underneath his collar on the right side of his neck. 

 

Kofi- I'm in! He's definitely hot! You just described the perfect GILF. 

 

Roman- What the hell is a GILF? 

 

Kofi- GILF- Guy I Like To Fuck. Big E talked about this a couple of times :D

 

Randy- That's so gay. 

 

Kofi- Nah just being open with your sexuality. Everybody has a dream guy, even you Randy. 

 

Randy- Well yeah, I mean. Don't know if I would fuck him. 

 

Elias- Suuuurreeee Randy!😏 

 

Seth- GUYS NOBODY IS FUCKING ANYBODY! 

 

Bayley- Damn Seth 😂😊

 

Seth- We're not debating this right now. I'm on a plane, he's sleeping on my shoulder and I'm tired as fuck. Let's save it for another day when I come back you guys.

 

Roman- Oh my gosh!! I can't get over him sleeping on your shoulder. Guys! Who's boarding this ship with me and Bayley? 

 

Kofi- Haha definitely me! 

 

Elias- I will! 

 

Randy- What ship are we talking about? 

 

Kofi- Oh my god..

 

Randy- What ship?? 

 

Ash- I'll explain it to him Kofi, Randy pay close attention and TAKE NOTES my dude, it's where fans ship a couple who aren't generally not a couple but they dream of them becoming a couple, that is called a ship AND in this ship, The Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose ship, A.K.A Ambrollins here is where we the fans support their gay relationship but they are actually not in a relationship! BUT ONE DAY it will happen 😄

 

Seth- ASHLEY NICOLE

 

Ash- SUCK MY LEFT NUT ROLLINS XD

 

Roman- Seth, we love the idea of this. 

 

Randy- Ah, okay. Well why not. I thought you guys were secretly gay anyways😏

 

Seth- RANDY ROMAN WHY!! 

 

Bayley- Randy is kinda right lol. 

 

Seth- WHY? YOU GUYS DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!! 

 

Kofi- Calm down Seth, we just like having some fun, but I ship it too. I regret nothing! Get some sleep Seth! Hope to see you guys soon! 

 

Roman- Tell Dean Big Dog said what's up. Got a match to prepare for man, wish me luck. 

 

Elias- Yeah with me! 

 

Bayley- I completely agree with Kofi, get some sleep Seth, we love you!! 

 

Ash- No! Hold your horses y'all! He never admitted Dean's hot! I'm not leaving this chat until Seth admits it! 

 

Seth rubbed his eyes. This conversation did not go the way he thought it would be. He sighed and typed the words he silently agreed with. 

 

Seth- Fine, he's freaking hot. Now get the fuck out of the chat.. 

 

Ash- HELL YEAH! Bye my dudes! 

 

Roman- See ya soon Seth :) 

 

Bayley- Bye Seth! ❤

 

Kofi- TTYL

 

Elias- Bye. 

 

Randy- I'm confused but bye loser. ✌

 

Ash- I JUST EXPLAINED IT TO YOU RANDY WTF. 

 

Randy- Just message my number Ash! 

 

Ash- uugghhhhh fine. XP Peace out suckas xD

 

Randy- Bye Seth! Tell your top I said hi! 

 

Seth- RANDY! 

 

Randy- Just stating the obvious Seth😏

 

Seth put his phone down and rubbed his face. "Jesus fucking Christ. Never again." 

 

He laid his head back and close his eyes, desperately trying to forget the conversation. He failed and fell asleep with Dean on the brain like he figured he would. It would probably be that way for a while until he got used to him being there. 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Far From Home
> 
> Artist: Five Finger Death Punch

Dean's neck was killing him when he opened his eyes, he felt something heavy on his head. He tried to move but Seth's head was laying on his and he tried not to laugh. There was a ding over the intercom and it was the captain telling them so fasten their seatbelts as they came in for a landing.

"Seth." He nudged him and he wiggled a bit before jerking awake.

"What? Sorry." He mumbled and rubbed his eyes.

Dean smiled. "We're about to land." He said and looked out the window. "Look at all the fucking snow. Shit."

Seth laughed. "Get used to it. We got like three more months of it."

"Fuuuuuuccckk that." Dean looked back at him and grinned. "Just kidding. I still love the snow. It's messy and cold. I remember when I was a kid we would build snow forts and build a snowman and sledding and everything snowy. God I miss those days."

Seth bit at his lip. Dean looked serene as he watched the ground got closer and closer. But right before they approached the runway, he shut the window quickly and sat back, starting to breath slow and heavy again just like when they took off.

His fingers tapped at his leg, it was his nervous habit Seth realized. Dean glanced over at him, and gave a nervous smile. "It's just the takeoff and landing, been a long time since I rode on this.. Scares the shit out of me now."

The plane started to shake as they got closer and Seth grabbed his hand again when Dean shut his eyes tight.  
He squeezed his fingers just like before and exhaled when the plane slowed to a crawl.

"You good?"

Dean let go of his hand and nodded. "I will be. When we get off of this thing."

Seth stood and got their bags down. "Well, come on. Let's go home."

He watched Dean slowly smile and he felt something he couldn't quite describe. He felt happy, ecstatic because Dean was here. He was going to his new home with him and he felt the nerves tighten in his stomach as they walked through the airport in a hurry in case of some fans recognizing them.

Just like with Seth before he reached Dean that day, people were staring at Dean, the way he was walking and the busted lip and bruised eye, the spectators looked concerned but lucky for the both of them no one asked.

It was cold as hell outside, so Seth pulled the extra jacket he'd packed in out of his bag and gave it to Dean who put it on in a hurry when they got outside.

"Thank you."

Seth laughed as they searched for his car in the parking lot. Dean helped him scrape off the ice on the windows of the car before they got on the road.

"Are you hungry?"

"Fucking starving like Marvin."

"Me too." Seth laughed and drove off as he let Dean listen to an Five Finger Death Punch album. The song Far From Home coming on as Dean sung the lyrics softly.

The sun was slowly going down which meant the temperature dropping. Seth knew Dean could feel it, even with the heat on high he was shivering a little.

"So what do you want to eat?"

Dean gave him a look, a look that Seth could remember as he smirked at him. "Pizza and fries?"

"Pizza and fries baby!"

Seth pulled into his favorite pizzeria, there were quite a few people there and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Nah man, I don't want to cause anything. I mean what if they know who I was, or who I am now?"

Dean spoke softly as he was not really looking at Seth, the blush coming up on his face hoping he didn't see it.

"Awh, ok. Here, I'll keep the heat up. I'll be back." He cranked the heat up and closed the door and ran inside.

The guy who was the owner and good friend of Seth's smiled as he saw his friend, taking off his beanie. "KENNY MY MAN!"

"ROLLINS MY MAN!! What's going on with you?" Kenny smiled widely as the two gave each other a hug.

"Eh, just doing the same ole things. How's the business running?"

After Kenny retired he moved back to his home and started a pizza place, few months later it became one of the best restaurants in Canada.

"It's going great! Business is running good, so how about the usual eh?" He smiled as he went behind the cashier to take Seth's order.

"I'm home for a little bit yeah. Something came up and I went to go do that and here I am. Oh and three pizzas with fries."

"Three?" Kenny asked as he placed the order. "You have company for a change?" He joked.

Seth smiled. "Yeah. One of my closest friends. He's gonna be living with me."

"Wow. That's kind of sudden."

"Yeah. It's a long story but he's my best friend."

Kenny winked at him and fetched his pizza. "Gotcha man. I gotta meet him sometime!"

"Thanks man. And don't worry I'll let you meet him whenever he's ready. He's a private kind of guy ya know. I'll see you later!" Seth said as he paid Kenny and grabbed his food.

"Holla." Kenny called.

As Seth went out to the car with the food he saw Dean and the extra jacket Seth gave him on the side of his neck like a pillow, eyes closed and everything. He didn't know why but Seth's face gotten hot as he stared at the man inside the truck. He realized that Elias was right with Dean being the mysterious type. But what else was making him like this?

He shook his head once he heard a car beeping furiously across the parking lot. He opened the door and Dean jerked awake at the heat of the pizza and fries.

"Oh hey. Sorry. " He chuckled. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Heh, give me my fries." Dean giggled as Seth handed the pizza and fries to sit in Dean's lap making him warm.

"Ah ah no, no touching the fries until we get home. I'm keeping my eye on you." Seth joked as he pointed his index and middle finger back and forth between the two of them.

"Damn." Dean pouted and crossed his arms jokingly which made both of them laughing.

"Let's get back to the house. You gotta taste this amazing pizza I always order from here. Then we can sleep."

"That's sounds amazing." Dean said softly as they pulled out. He watched the street lamps go by as Far From Home played softly in the car. None of this felt real and he wouldn't be surprised if he woke up in his room with his father standing over him with a bloody fist. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes blinking them away before any of them fall for Seth to notice.

Meanwhile Seth pulled into a driveway on a busy neighborhood. It was a small two story house with a front and back yard and a porch. It was nice.

He parked his car in the garage and got out. He walked to Dean's side of the car and opened the door before grabbing the pizzas and fries so he could get out.

"Can you grab the bags out of the back?" Seth asked him and he reached in the back seats to grab both of their overnight bags. Dean followed Seth through the door and into his kitchen which was huge and awesome, just like the rest of the house as Seth showed him around the area.

Seth showed him to the spare bedroom that would be his own room. But Dean was frozen at the doorway with a terribly painful look on his face. Then he looked up at Seth's heart nearly dropped to his stomach.

"I don't deserve any of this. I don't deserve a friend that treats me like you do.. " Dean said and Seth watched the tears wet his face.

"Ok, first of all, you're my best friend, we've known each other for almost fifteen years. Why the fuck wouldn't I do any of this for you? And second, you'll just have to get used to me treating you like royalty because that's how I treat my closest friends." Seth said and he knew it wouldn't stop him thinking shit about himself but he'd fight the rest of Dean's demons later. Right now he just wanted him to be happy with where he was.

"Come here man." Seth wrapped him up in a hug, careful not to hug too tight. Dean sighed and squeezed the hell out of him, grabbing his jacket in his fists. "Everything is fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. Are you hearing me?"

Dean nodded but he didn't let him go. Until his stomach growled and they both laughed. He pulled back and wiped his face.

"Food?"

Seth smiled at his puffy eyes. He was adorable, which he thought he never used that term for a guy but he was.

He got up quickly and went out to the hallway, lifting his arms up and chanted YES! YES! Dean joined him on the yes chant which made them laugh so hard Seth was wheezing.

They sat on the island counter and ate nearly all of it until neither one could keep their eyes open. They went upstairs and Seth said goodnight as well as Dean saying it back.

After he changed into some pajamas Dean slipped into the covers and passed out instantly. Same was for Seth, except this time.

This time he was happy to have Dean back. Both of them just couldn't wait to wake up in the morning.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Dean woke up slowly, his head felt like it was going to split open. It was dark in the room, someone had came in to close the curtains. He felt for the lamp he remembered seeing before he passed out last night. 

 

The light was dim and even then he had to squint. There was a bottle of water and a few pain relievers on the bedside table. Dean smiled before he took them and washed it down with water. Seth was amazing to say the least.

 

He cut the lamp off and pulled the covers back over him and shut his eyes while the pain killers did their work. The soreness was taking it's toll on his body and he was pretty sure his ribs were bruised, too. It hurt to take deep breaths or cough, which he desperately felt like he needed to.

 

The weather was already testing his sinuses. He drifted off to sleep again when the headache dulled and woke again later to the sound of shuffling outside the door.

 

                     ----------

 

The sound of a doorbell came upon as Seth opened the door to reveal the guy with Dean's things with him.

 

Seth signed for Dean's boxes and shook the man's hand. "Thanks for getting them here so quick. I appreciate it."

 

"No problem, sir." The guy smiled and turned on his heel. Seth picked up the last box and carried it inside and up the stairs with the others and placed them by Dean's door.

 

Seth looked up when the door opened and Dean appeared, shirtless with his loose grey pajama pants that were hanging low on his hips. The tattoo that he could barely see yesterday was now in plain sight. It ran from his elbow to his collar bone, a collage of sorts. It was done in black and white and it was gorgeous.

 

Hot ran through his head and he willed it away. He was going to rip the others a new one for putting the damn idea in head in the first place. He looked again and the bruises caught his eye.

 

"Holy shit."

 

Dean raised his hands and his eyebrows. "What?"

 

His voice was rough with sleep and he was squinting at the light.

 

"Jesus fucking Christ, Dean." Seth gasped as he stepped toward him and touched his fingers to the deep purple bruise that ran from his left side to his back. Dean flinched under his touch and he pulled his fingers away.

 

"Sorry. That looks fucking terrible."

 

"Yeah, it hurts like hell."

 

Seth eyeballed him again. "I really need to touch it and make sure you don't have a broken rib." He turned, heading downstairs and motioned for Dean to follow. "Come sit in the kitchen."

 

He waited for him to sit and put his arms on the counter before he gently touched his side again. Dean flinched and groaned immediately.

 

"Okay?"

 

Dean nodded and laid his head on his arms as Seth continued to feel for protrusions that could indicate a broken rib.

 

"Can you take a deep breath?"

 

Seth waited and Dean inhaled and held it before letting it go.

 

"Good. Nothing feels broke, just a little swollen." He said and Dean sat up, meeting his stare before looking away. 

 

Was he ashamed? 

 

That's what Seth saw on his face and he felt his blood boil. Why would he feel ashamed, it wasn't like he could fight back because the man towered over him. Hell, he was too big for Seth to fight. Bigger than Braun Strowman honestly.

 

Seth sighed. "You need to keep ice on it and pain killers in your system or you'll be miserable for a few days. Just breathe deep every once in a while to help it work itself out."

 

Dean nodded silently and watched Seth make him a bag of ice then wrap it in a towel.

 

Dean grinned when Seth turned around.

 

"What?" Seth asked suspiciously.

 

"You bring me to Canada and now you want me to wear an ice pack?" He smiled when Seth tried his hardest not to. "Are you trying to turn me into a damn icicle?"

 

Seth laughed and shrugged. "You could go stand in the yard instead, either way you are keeping ice on you. Just for a little while, I promise."

 

Dean squinted at him as he came around the counter with the ice and a wrap to go around his waist and shoulder to hold it in place. "Alright. I trust you. Just not the heel Rollins I knew."

 

Seth grinned and Dean hissed when the cold settled into his skin. It went numb after a while but it was uncomfortable as hell. He couldn't even put a shirt on so he slipped Seth's jacket on instead.

 

"Let's get your stuff set up so you can play. I know you've been having withdrawals." Seth flew up the stairs and started sliding boxes into Dean's room.

 

"Yeah, I have. It's been a whole week. I'm scared to get on and play games for the fans."

 

Seth nodded. "Yeah, Ash told me the comments on your page are getting borderline scary. But, I can take care of that." He stopped moving boxes and caught his eye. "If you want me to, that is. Depends on if you want to tell everyone that we're living together now or I can call Ash to tell them or not. Either way, I can handle it."

 

Dean shrugged. "It's fine with me. Everyone gonna find out sooner or later and the others already know I assume?"

 

"Yeah, they know. I was in a video group chat when you called. I don't know if they heard everything, but they heard me so..."

 

Dean leaned against the doorway and ran a hand through his hair before he looked up at Seth who was standing there grinning, looking him up and down.

 

"Is there something on my face?"

 

Seth shook his head. "No I just can't stop looking at you. You're nothing like I thought you would be before. I mean I didn't have a set image in my head of you, but it was something way off. Something that matched your avatar."

 

"I do match my laugh and avatar, I'm fucking weird looking now."

 

"No." Seth said in a matter of fact tone. "You look really good."

 

Dean huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

 

"I am dead serious." Seth said because he refused to call him hot even though it was on the tip of tongue every time he looked at him.

 

"Shut up, Seth." Dean turned to the hallway for a box and Seth laughed.

 

"Oh my God, you're blushing!"

 

"Am not!"

 

"You so are!" Seth went into the hall and pulled Dean's hands off of the box he was trying to move. "Hey! Don't strain yourself. You need to let your side heal."

 

"Fine, I'll go take everything out of them then and you can move them. How does that sound?" Dean asked smartly and Seth was still smiling.

 

"Sounds perfect, Dean. Now stop blushing because I gave you a compliment. You just have to accept the fact that you're hot."

 

Dean sighed and turned into the room oblivious to the fact that Seth was flipping his shit in his mind. He said it, he fucking said the h word.

 

Seth rubbed his face and shook it off. It was fine. Dean still thought he was fucking around anyway.

 

"You okay out there or are you still thinking about how hot I am?" Dean called and Seth laughed.

 

"You wish, bitch." He pushed another box into the room and Dean was grinning as he unpacked one of his boxes.

 

"You're the one who said it."

 

Fucking hell. Just run with it Seth.

 

"Yes, I did. Just stating the obvious." Seth said and pulled the consoles from the box and went to hooking cords up to the tv on the wall.

 

"Well, if we're stating the obvious, then you're pretty hot yourself." Dean raised a brow at him when he turned to look at him.

 

He laughed. "Then I guess we're just two hot guys in a really cold place."

 

Dean giggled. "The world can't handle us!"

 

He started to plug his computer up at the desk on the other side of the room and Seth finished hooking up his Xboxes.

 

Seth flopped onto Dean's new bed when he was done and watched him work the wires. He rolled his sleeves up and bit at his tongue as he concentrated. 

 

Seth was fascinated. 

 

No one ever fascinated him like this before.

 

"Happy New Year, by the way."

 

Dean stood and put on a thinking face. "Shit, that was last night wasn't it?"

 

Seth nodded. "Yep."

 

"Should we kiss?" Dean asked as seriously as he could, trying to keep a straight face.

 

Seth pursed his lips in thought then checked the invisible watch on his bare wrist. "Ehh. Maybe next year."

 

Dean couldn't hold it and started laughing. "I'll hold you to it."

 

Seth laughed and shook his head. "While you daydream about that I gonna go tell Ash real quick and have her explain to everyone what's been going on with you and me. Don't worry I won't do details or anything crazy like that. Just a real simple explanation."

 

Dean nodded and he stuck his head out the door as Seth reached the room at the end of the hall.

 

"Hey, Seth."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Can you keep that other thing quiet, please?"

 

"What thing?"

 

".....The me being bisexual thing."

 

"Dude, you're not bisexual." Seth said plainly and he saw Dean's face drop, so he continued before he got upset. "And you're not gay and you're not straight."

 

Dean was looking more and more confused and Seth grinned. "And neither am I. We're both just humans who like what they like."

 

Dean nodded slowly and grinned. "Okay." He ran his hand through his hair again and Seth liked the way it stuck up. "But not everyone thinks like you, Seth. Just don't tell the others, I'll get shit for it if you do."

 

"I won't." Seth crossed his heart and turned back towards his room.

 

Dean went back to his boxes and he put away the ones full of knickknacks in the closet to be opened on a later date. He checked his texts and his messages were almost full, he forgot to tell Arin what was going on. They were a few episodes away from finishing some Bloodbourne. He replied to the ones he wanted to and deleted the others while he heard a few voices talking faintly through the walls.

 

\-----------

 

The beep of a camera came into view of Ash. She just gotten off the phone with Seth and asked her to do a favor for him regarding Dean. Even though she didn't ask how he was she understood what was going on. Well she secretly knew since well she figured Seth would end up doing something like this.

 

She sighed as she put her panda hat on and shouted. 

 

"What's up my dudes and dudettes it's ya girl TheFantasticAshhole here. Now I just wanted to give you a quick update. I know it's been a while for one of my good friends Mr. Ambrose a week to be exact. He didn't mean to keep you guys waiting, but some very serious things came up. Personal things and like I've told you guys before, that takes priority."

 

Ash paused trying to figure how to word things.

 

"I know some of you have been asking me in the comments if it has something to do with Seth and it actually does. He hasn't been posting anything either and I'm not going to go into too much detail on the matter because you know he's a private type. All you need to know is that he was not safe where he was and he is now living with Mr. Rollins. I would, and they would too, greatly appreciate it if you didn't ask him about what was going on. It's extremely personal and a very sensitive subject. All I ask is that you respect his privacy. He will be posting videos soon probably by tomorrow or tomorrow evening or somewhere in between this week I don't know. Things should be getting back to normal and we appreciate your support. So yeah, I love you guys. We all love you guys and we'll see you all the dudes and dudettes later. Stay rocking y'all!"

 

She ended the recording with the rock hand signal and saved it before pulling up YouTube and submitting it at soon as possible. It was the shortest thing she'd ever posted but it was the most important.

 

She put a smirk on her face as she saw her upload coming in. "You're welcome Ambrollins."

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

The next few days went by smoothly and Seth was getting used to life with someone else in his house rather quickly. He enjoyed the company and Dean's cinnamon pancakes he made for breakfast on Friday. 

 

He'd received a text from Ash saying there were numerous amounts of comments and messages about the video. All of them were understanding and supportive. Hell, everyone thought it was awesome that they were living together. 

 

Life was fantastic.

 

\----------

 

Seth heard his phone go off while they were eating dinner and watching a movie together that Dean insisted he watch. He was the fucking movie queen.

 

"I told you Doug Bradley is always Pinhead!" Dean pointed at the screen and Seth laughed.

 

"You want more or no?" Seth asked him as he stood and pulled his phone from his pocket. Dean handed him his plate.

 

"Yes, thank you." He paused the movie.

 

He answered the call as he walked to the kitchen, it was Kofi. "What's up Kofi?"

 

"Nothing much, man. Sup with you guys?"

 

"Dinner and a movie." Seth said and before Kofi could speak again he put in. "And you better not say what I know you were about to say!"

 

Kofi laughed in his ear. "I wasn't gonna say anything!"

 

"I don't believe that. I counted on you when everyone else was jumping on the ship and you let me down, Kofi." Seth joked.

 

"I'm not sorry, Seth. The way you describe him, you guys would be hot." Kodi chuckled."Tell him I said hi."

 

"Dean, Kofi says hi!" He called out and held the phone out.

 

"Hey, man!" Dean hollered and Seth put the phone back to his ear.

 

"He's something else." Kofi said and Seth nodded to himself.

 

"Yeah. He's a lot quieter in person now."

 

"So. He's forcing you to watch movies. What are you watching?"

 

"Hellraiser. The one with Doug Bradley. It's really good. It's sick but good."

 

"Yesss. Love Doug Bradley. And what was for dinner?" Kofi asked.

 

"Uh, let's see. We had salman patties, peas and green beans, mashed potatoes, and cornbread. And there's Baskin-Robbins's in the freezer for dessert. That I don't have room for."

 

Kofi whistled. "Heck yeah. Who cooked?"

 

"Dean surprisingly. It's one of his favorite meals so he bought it all and cooked it." Seth looked over his shoulder at the back of Dean's head. It looked like he was on his phone. "Seriously, best food I've ever had in a long time."

 

"I'm surprised with this! So I assume that means he got all of his things up there, including his funds?"

 

"Yeah, he did that the last couple of days. Got all his money transferred up here to my bank, and he got his address changed. So it's pretty official now. He lives here."

 

He could tell Kofi was smiling. "That's awesome. You're a great friend you know that right?"

 

"I'm trying to be."

 

"You are, Seth." Kofi said. "Listen, you guys want to do some GTA after your movie?"

 

"Who's playing?"

 

"Roman, Ash, and Elias. Maybe Randy if he has time."

 

"I'm down. Hang on a second." Seth covered the mouth piece.

 

"Hey, Dean. You down for GTA when this goes off?"

 

Dean turned his head and caught his eye and flashed him a brilliant smile that hit Seth harder than he ever expected a smile to.

 

"When am I ever not up for GTA?"

 

Seth pulled himself together and smiled back. "When you're watching a movie."

 

He patted the cushion beside him and laughed. "Yeah, so come on and let's finish it!"

 

"We're in, Kofi. Movie has like twenty more minutes and we'll be on."

 

"Alright, see you then."

 

He ended the call and fetched their plates, sitting down next to Dean, who smiled at him again when he passed him his plate.

 

Fuck that smile, his grin, those fucking dimples in his cheeks.

 

Seth clenched his jaw. 

 

Jesus, what was wrong with him?

 

Seth wished he would stop. It was making him think and thinking made him anxious as fuck. He turned his eyes back to the tv.

 

\---------

 

'Get the fuck out, Ambrose!" Randy screamed. "I was so fucking close!"

 

Dean couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard. Seth was grabbing his side as he laughed and he could hear Roman wheezing.

 

"It was an accident!" He giggled. "I swear it was!"

 

"Oh my fucking God!" Randy continued to rage. "Seth! Fucking get up and go slap the shit out of him! God damn it!"

 

"What! No!" He laughed. "Seth don't listen to him!"

 

Seth went silent and Dean took his headset off. He could still hear the others through the Skype call on the screen.

 

"Ooh shit! I've got money on Seth!" Kofi yelled.

 

"Ha! I'm going for our boy Dean." He heard Roman.

 

Dean stood and flattened his back against the wall by the door when he heard steps in the hall on the hardwood floor.

 

He peered around the corner and saw Seth's white smile before he felt his hand hit his face. The slap was loud and he heard yells and cheers in the background.

 

"You hoe!" He yelled and took off after Seth who was hauling ass back down to his own room laughing. He caught him and they both fell hard onto the bed where he crawled on top of him, pinning him down. Seth looked up at him, a smile still plastered on his face. He was fucking gorgeous and Dean hated the feeling it gave him.

 

"Take it back!"

 

"Oh shit! They're in Seth's room now. I hear them on his mic." Elias smirked.

 

"Never!" Seth yelled and pushed his arm out from under him so he fell to the side giving him an opportunity. He rolled them until he was hovering over him, pinning his arms down by the wrists.

 

"Ow! Be gentle with me!" Dean yelled and laughed as he tried to free himself.

 

"Holy shittoasters! What the fuck are you guys doing?!"

 

"Don't worry about it, Ash!" Seth yelled. "I've definitely got it under control!"

 

"This is entertaining as fuck. You guys should do it more often." Randy said cracking up.

 

"Oh, goodness. This is going on YouTube. This sounds so wrong!" Elias laughed.

 

Dean snatched his arm from Seth's grasp and smacked his face while he had the chance.

 

"Oooooh! Damn! That was loud!" They heard from the computer.

 

Dean laughed. "Payback bitch!"

 

Seth stared at him for a moment and then broke into a grin. "Okay. We're even."

 

He got off of him and pulled him to his feet. Dean hissed and grabbed his side when he stood.

 

"Oh shit. Did I hurt you?" Seth asked, his face and tone serious all of a sudden.

 

"No, it's just my side. It's still a little tender."

 

Kofi yelled over the monitor. "Kiss it and make it better, Seth!"

 

Seth rolled his eyes. "Guys.."

 

Dean grinned. "They're just fucking around, you know."

 

"Yeah, but they don't dog you about it like they dog me." Seth rubbed his face and sat in his chair. "Like yesterday Ash wanted me to sneak in your room while you were sleeping and see what your ass looks like."

 

"Damnit Seth!" They heard a yell and some giggles from his headphones.

 

Dean threw his head back and laughed while Seth shook his head, grinning.

 

"Did you?" He asked and everyone burst into another fit of laughter. Seth was starting to get used to it, getting used to the gay jokes.

 

He smiled up at him and said. "I'll never tell you."

 

Of course he hadn't actually snuck a peek at his ass. It was probably a nice ass based on what the rest of his body looked like now. But, no, he didn't.

 

"You wanna see it? I'll show you."

 

Another set of screams rung out over the speakers and Seth swatted at Dean who dodged and ran off laughing down the hallway.

 

"And stay out! You pervert."

 

Seth put his headset back on and soon heard Dean back on his as well.

 

"Come on you guys, just kiss and make up." Roman teased.

 

"Joseph Anoi, I swear I will end you."

 

"Alright, Seth!" Roman screamed when Seth pushed his character to a ledge and pointed a rocket at his face. "I'll stop! For now."

 

"Okay guys, we are never going to finish this if we don't stop screwing around." Elias chimed in.

 

"Don't you mean if Seth and Dean don't stop screwing around?" Ash said and Dean jumped on the scene and falcon punched her off the cliff they were edging along.

 

"Fuuuuck!"

 

"Bye, bitch!" He called out as Ash kept falling. "Hahaha!"

 

Seth laughed. "So evil, Ambrose."

 

"Hey, just defending my property." Dean joked.

 

"Oooh! No he just didn't!" Kofi snapped his fingers and Seth just sat there speechless.

 

He sighed. "Fuck it. Come on, baby. Let's leave these assholes in the dust. First to the finish wins."

 

"You got it, sweetheart." Dean giggled as he and Seth ran for their lives through the maze that was ahead of them. Dean kept his eye on the back of Seth's character's head, making sure he didn't lose Seth. They were going to win it together and show the others they were the greatest couple that ever was even though they weren't a couple.

 

It was so fucking stupid, but it was fun.

 

"Come on, Dean! Jump! They're coming!" Seth yelled.

 

"Oh, fuck! Shut up, I can't concentrate!" He yelled back.

 

The others were gaining on them after falling into a pit that Seth triggered to buy them time.

 

"Shit! Just go!" Dean yelled as he tried to jump across the rock canyon in front of him, but the rocks were fooling him and collapsing as soon as he touched them. "Go, Seth! Leave me behind! You can make it for the both of us!"

 

Roman burst into laughter. "Aaaaand queue the Titanic music."

 

"Haha! I see them!" Ash shouted.

 

"I feel like this should be in slow motion right now. I mean, look how fucking sad and dramatic they look!" Elias snorted.

 

"I think it's sweet." Kofi cooed.

 

"Shut up! Come on, you can fucking make it, Dean!" Seth was wiggling his character dramatically making Dean laugh uncontrollably.

 

"No! Stop wiggling, it's not helping!"

 

Roman practically squealed. "But it's romantic, your wiggling your ass."

 

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dean made it halfway. "Yes! I'm fucking making it!"

 

"Yes! Come on, come on, come on." Seth's heart was racing which was hilarious because it never did that unless the game jump scared him. But he was determined to win this without cheating and killing everyone for the sake of a video.

 

Dean took the last jump and landed beside him. "Fuck yeah! Hahaha! I thought you would leave me for real though."

 

"I'll never let go, Jack."

 

Ash sounded like she was crying. "Oh my God." She tried to catch her breath. "I fucking love you guys."

 

"You created this!" Seth said accusingly.

 

Brock was gaining on them. "Yeah, but you didn't have to play along you know."

 

"Whatever! You guys are the most persistent bastards I know. It will never end, I may as well get comfy cozy with the way things are."

 

"Yes, may as well. Because this is golden material right here. You two will go far. I bet you the video you make out of this, and you better put all this good gay shit in there, I bet you it will end up the most popular one on your guys channel." Roman stated and everyone agreed. "I shit you not."

 

"Ahhh! Seth, Kofi's right fucking behind us." Dean yelled. "Oh God. I need to turn the fan on in here, it's hot as fuck."

 

"Just breathe, Dean! And keep running. We shouldn't be far from the end as long as the floor doesn't drop beneath us or anything don't pop out of the walls." Seth was laughing until all of the above happened at once.

 

"Noooo!" They fell for an eternity it seemed until they landed on a white square in the midst of the darkness and credits started to roll as the dead people danced around them.

 

"Really? That's it?" Dean deadpanned.

 

"Oh my fuck. All that hard work and determination and romance! And this is what we get for it?!"

Seth yelled and the others joined them shortly at the bottom and rolled in the disappointment.

 

"Who cares?" Ash said. "I just can't wait to see what you make out of all this. Like, go right now and start making a video. I'm excited as fuck!"

 

"Yes. Seth. Go!" Randy joked.

 

"I'm just gonna say that I called it!" Elias called out.

 

"Called what?"

 

"This pairing, this ship. I called it, I created it. Like an entire year ago. If you fucks had watched my music videos you would know!"

 

Roman smirked. "Ohh. I know the video you're talking about. I remember that! Elias is a match maker, ladies and gents."

 

"Uh excuse mua!! Elias, Roman, this has been going on for ages you fucktards! But yeah your music about them is badass start making more of them!" Ash declared.

 

"I'm leaving. Talk to you guys tomorrow. You are all fucking insane." Seth said and before anyone could retaliate he exited the game and closed his Skype call.

 

He could hear Dean laughing and talking quietly in his room. "No way. He's a total ladies man, there is absolutely no possibility whatsoever that he would be down for that. Ever. Just text me, Kofi. Bye."

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Dean saved the recording and cut everything off. He'd go through it all tomorrow and then make a Mortal Kombat video. His phone went off when he got done brushing his teeth and was getting a glass of water in the kitchen. 

 

Kofi- You really think he wouldn't at least be up for trying it?

 

Dean looked up and watched Seth come down the stairs.

 

Dean- I don't know, it's already hard for me not to look at him all the fucking time. I know it's going to get worse the longer I'm around him. 

 

Dean glanced back up from his phone to see Seth bite into a donut.

 

Kofi- Don't worry about it. He's already got it in his head and now that he knows you like guys, he'll think about it even more. Eventually it will get to him and he'll wonder what it's all about. Well, that's how it worked for me. And besides, Seth is open minded, remember this Dean.

 

Dean bit at his thumb then ran a hand through his hair while he tried to keep his eyes down and off of Seth who was leaning against the island counter on his phone.

 

Dean- We'll see..

 

He set his phone down and Seth looked up before walking over beside him. "Let me see your tattoo."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it's really cool and I haven't got to see it properly yet." Seth raised a brow him and grinned when Dean groaned and pulled his shirt over his head. He turned into the light so Seth could see it.

 

"So. It's like... A eagles wing made out of smoke?" Seth ran his finger up his arm and Dean swallowed. "With lots of different things blended into it."

 

"Pretty much."

 

"Who designed it?"

 

"I did..." Dean bit his tongue when Seth's finger met his neck. He could feel the goosebumps starting to rise. "It's a huge collage of everything I like."

 

He turned his head and pointed out certain things to Seth. A symbol of The Shield from back then, a French fry, a hidden wolf, and countless other things. They were all creatively entwined together to look like a eagles wing that was swirled around in every directions.

 

"The eagle was my mother's idea."

 

Seth grinned. "It was a good one. This is cool as shit. I would never be able to come up with something like this. Which is why I still don't have a new tattoo."

 

"It honestly took me a few months to draw it all out, but even longer to get it done because I was driving out of state to a really good artist. It took me about five trips until he finished completely. The shading took the longest." Dean shrugged. "I really want to do another one, maybe on my other arm. Or my chest."

 

Seth nodded and them grabbed himself a glass from the cabinet. "Chest would be cool. Maybe you can make up something for me and we'll go get one done together."

 

"Seriously?" Dean gasped at him.

 

"Yeah, seriously." Seth laughed. "Why? Something wrong with that?"

 

Dean shook his head. "No, I just think... That it'd be awesome." He smiled and he saw Seth's fingers tighten around his glass. He caught his eye and Seth grinned again.

 

"Good. No rush, just whatever you want to do. I'm sure I love it no matter what you come up with." He sat his glass in the sink. "I'm gonna start editing this shit out, if you want to help me."

 

"I'd love to, sweetheart." He said and Seth swatted at his face but he dodged to the side laughing.

 

Seth shook his head. "Come on, hot stuff."

 

                        ----------

 

Dean followed him up the stairs and to his room where they sat up for hours saving clips of the game, finding music, adding text, laughing at the shit all over again. They had it done by the time the sun came up.

 

"Well, that's the fastest I've ever done a video." Seth said as he sat back and rubbed his eyes.

 

"Yeah, it went by pretty quick with two people. Usual takes me an entire two days." Dean said before a yawn crawled it's way up his throat.

 

"Sleepy time. I'm so tired right now." He said and Seth nodded in agreement before loading the video onto YouTube.

 

"High five, man. We're fucking awesome." Seth slapped his hand and pulled him to his feet.

 

"Hell yeah we are. Sweet dreams, Seth." Dean smiled at him before heading down the hall to his bed that had been calling his name for the past four hours.

 

"I'm here, bed. I'm here." He wrapped the blankets around himself and drifted off into sleep. It wasn't until noon that he woke up to Seth falling onto his bed.

 

"Ugh." He pulled the covers over his head. "What do you want?"

 

"Check this out." Seth said and he pulled the covers back. He put his phone in front of his face.

 

Dean squinted and read it again. "Holy shit!"

 

"Yeah, holy shit!" Seth laughed, "Five million views overnight! And it's still going up."

 

"That's awesome!" Dean smiled and propped himself up on his elbow. "So, what are you gonna do next?"

 

"Well, I was thinking we could continue our love affair across games. Maybe some more GTA?" He grinned down at him.

 

Dean gave a small laugh and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, that sounds good to me."

 

"You hit six million subscribers by the way." Seth watched his face as he processed what he just said. He sat up in the bed.

 

"You fucking with me, Seth?"

 

"No." He laughed when Dean jumped up and ran to his computer where his YouTube was already pulled up. Seth had snuck in earlier before he woke him up and turned it on.

 

"Fuck yeah." He put his hands in the air and laughed. "Yesss! Yes! Yes!"

 

Seth watched him for the rest of the day. The smile never completely left Dean's face. 

 

That stupidly sexy smile.

 

Yes, it was sexy. It was so fucking pretty Seth couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand that he thought about it at all. Or that he continued to think about it for days.

 

And then weeks. 

 

Then a whole month.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Diamonds
> 
> Artist: Rihanna

It was already February, Dean's channel had blown up incredibly fast. He had another million and was up to almost eight.

The fans were loving everything they did together and he was loving it too. Dean was the funnest one to play with. But Dean was not an idiot like he was while playing games. He was actually pretty quiet until Seth got him riled up and laughing.

"I get excited and half the time I'm tired as shit so that makes me sound even more crazy. And that's what everyone looks at me as and expects of me when I play. So that's how I am." Dean told him one day.

Seth just laughed and said to him later that day. "Hey, I was thinking."

And Dean looked up at from where he was laying on his stomach on Seth's bed, phone in hand while Seth edited more videos. "You? Thinking? Call the news stations!"

Seth threw his pencil at him and Dean smiled and Seth felt that same anxious feeling every time. He was getting used it.

"Sorry. What was you thinking?"

"I was thinking that we could start a new game together. Something we can do co-op, just me and you."

"Yeah." Dean sat up on the bed. "That's my favorite. Actually. When Kofi forced us to play Left 4 Dead we played, that was so much fun."

"Yeah, it was. I just got to thinking about it and we haven't done that in a long time." Seth bit at his lip. "I know that's kind of yours and your friend Arin's thing too... I don't know. I just thought I'd ask."

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "Arin has other friends that he plays with. I think he'll understand if I want to play with you instead sometimes. It's not like I'm kicking him off the playground and throwing dirt in his face."

Seth threw his head back and laughed before he turned back to his computer monitors. "Okay. If you say so."

Dean propped himself up on Seth's pillows that smelled like vanilla from that Creed Aventus and mixed berries together.

"Oh yeah." Seth spun around again. "I know you don't go out much, just because we've been snowed in these past few weeks, but maybe next Wednesday you can go down to the rink with me?"

Dean searched his face for any sign of trickery but found none. "You know I can't ice skate to save my life. What about wrestling? You're a champion are you?"

Seth nodded. "I know. And I'm still with the company.. Just getting some time off to spend with you. And nah Styles is keeping the fans up with the title."

"Then why would you-"

"Because I want to teach you ice skate." Seth grinned and leaned forward. "It'll be fun. I promise."

Dean pursed his lips in fake thought. He'd never say no to Seth, even if he asked him to turn his favorite movie off on the best part. He sighed dramatically and Seth broke into a pretty smile.

"Fiiiinnne. I'll go."

                       ---------

"You lied to me, Seth." Dean said while he stared at the lights overhead from where he was lying flat on his back on the cold hard ice.

Seth slid over to him and stared down at him smiling. "I did not Deano."

"You _promised_ this would be fun." Dean narrowed his eyes at him. "But here I am flat on the ice. My ass is probably bruised and the children here are laughing at me."

"Don't be such a grumpy man, Dean. You're not the only one who is busting his ass out here. And they're laughing because it's funny _not_ because they think you're stupid." Seth reached down and grabbed his hand and started to pull him up slowly, letting him gain some traction with the skates. "Like I told you, it's all about balance. Once you get it, you've got it. It can't be unlearned. It might take you some time to find it, but I'll get you there. It took me almost four years to completely skate but I know you can do this."

Dean grabbed his shoulders when he was finally standing tall again. Seth held him by his arms as he wobbled and started to skate backwards, pulling Dean with him. "I promise. You'll be skating like an Olympic athlete by the time I'm done with you."

"I'll hold you to it." He grinned and nearly lost his balance.

"Focus on not putting your weight on the inside or outside of the skate. That's what makes you unsteady and wobbly." Seth let him go and glided backwards with ease.

"Don't leave me, you jerk!"

Seth just smiled and held his hand out for him. But he was a good distance away and Dean knew as soon as he pushed off he would slip and bust his ass for the twelfth time.

"Don't force it, let your foot slide in front of you and to the side. Now, come here."

Dean bit at his lip and focused on Seth's hand and tried his hardest not to push off hard, instead he let the skate gently slide in front of him and moved forward. His weight was evenly placed and to his surprise his other foot followed without a problem.

"Hi." He said and laughed as he wrapped his fingers around Seth's.

"See. That wasn't so hard. If you'd just listen to me. Now, do it again." Seth let his hand go and moved further away.

"I was listening to you. But my feet wouldn't listen to you. They don't have ears, so you can't blame them." He said and Seth laughed as Dean started to skate toward him. He wasn't as smooth as Seth was but at least he wasn't wobbling anymore. Just as he was about to touch his hand again, Seth moved even further away.

"And don't kick your feet out behind you like you're wearing roller blades, because you will fall forward and bust your face open. Trust me, I learned that the hard way and was stuck at home for about a month." Seth grinned and moved back again. Dean was biting his tongue and concentrating so hard. His nose was red with cold and his cheeks were flushed.

Dean eventually stopped reaching for him and just started to skate toward him. He evened out after a while and just started to glide calmly around the rink, letting his legs get familiar with the movement. Seth leaned against the railing and watched him make smooth circles.

Dean glanced back and realized that the kids had been following him, for how long, he didn't know.

"Hey! What are you creeps doing back there?"

They laughed and started to skate faster towards him. "Ahh! No!"

Dean picked up the pace, making sure he didn't lose his balance or kick his feet behind him like Seth told him not to.

Seth was laughing when he flew past him with the kids still on his trail. "Seth! Did you put them up to this?!"

"Why would I do such a thing?" He called out, still laughing.

"Because, you're evil and like to torture me!" He cried out as he passed him again. Seth felt the wind coming off of him.

"It's good practice!"

Dean laughed and kept going, making his corners carefully but quickly so his feet didn't come out from beneath him.

"Eat my dust, suckers!"

"Get him!" The kids screamed and laughed as they tried their best to keep up. Seth was right and Dean was smiling from ear to ear. He'd found his balance and he didn't lose it again. He was no where near as good as Seth was but he had the basics down and that was enough for now.

He slowed down until he wasn't hardly moving, then he dropped to the ice and laid on his back. A small weight fell on top of him and then another. And one more after that. The kids were giggling as they made a tiny dog pile on top of him. He flailed his arms dramatically.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Seth laughed at him until he had tears in his eyes. The kids eventually got off of him and tried to pull him to his feet. He high fived them when they finally did and two of the little girls took him by the hand and started to pull him along for a ride.

"Who's your friend?"

Seth turned to find Lisa standing on the other side of the wall watching her girl drag Dean along the ice. Lisa was the granddaughter of the man who owned the rink. He'd met her when he had one of grocery shopping days with helping her out putting her own groceries in and they'd been good friends ever since. She brushed her blonde hair away from her face and waved at her baby when they passed by with Dean in tow.

"I'm being held captive." He whispered at Seth. "There's a ransom of cookies and hot chocolate."

"No, I think you want cookies and hot chocolate. Am I right?" Seth asked him and Dean looked back at him with that damn smile and nodded.

Seth shook his head and grinned at Lisa. "That's Dean. My housemate, he moved here from Cincinnati."

"Oh. I definitely know him. I remember watching him with you being evil with him on tv. Well, he's adorable in person." She grinned. "Is he single?"

"Yeah." Seth raised a brow at her. "But probably not looking to mingle."

"Oh, I guess he's one of those quiet guys like you that likes to stay inside and be antisocial." She teased.

"Yes, he is actually." Seth held a finger up at her. "And for your information, Lisa, I am extremely social compared to what I used to be."

"This is true, and you still don't have any attraction towards me at all I assume?"

"Correct." He smiled and she giggled. It was a question she always asked and his answer was always the same.

"Casey! Time is up, let's go home." She called and her girl dropped her head in disappointment.

"But we're having fun, Mom!"

"No, you're torturing the poor guy."

"But it's fun!"

Seth laughed and Lisa sighed. "I've created a monster."

The other kids were already leaving with their parents but Casey was clinging to Dean. He leaned down and said. "Hey, Casey. I'll be here next Wednesday."

She broke into a smile."Me, too!"

"Well I'll see you then, partner." He grinned and held his hand out and she high-fived him. Casey then reached up for him and Seth felt his insides grow warm when Dean picked her up and glided their way with her resting on his hip.

"Your offspring, malady." Dean grinned and passed Casey to her mother.

"Thank you for keeping her entertained." Lisa smiled at him and Seth could see Dean drawing in on himself. Percy didn't lie when she said he was shy. Although he seemed to be fine around children.

"No problem." He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at Seth.

He took the hint and said. "Alright, Lise. We'll see you two next week."

"Absolutely. Tell them bye, Casey."

Her girl smiled and waved as they walked off. "Bye!"

Dean smiled back at her and gave a small wave before sticking his hands in his pockets. He looked over at Seth.

"Sooo. What now?"

"You want to try skating backwards?"

Dean took to the ice and stuck his arms in the air like a ballerina, pretending to twirl. He giggled to himself. "Maybe next time. My ass hurts, gotta let this baby heal." He said as he patted his ass.

He winked at Seth and started skating around the rink, testing out how to make sharp turns and sudden stops. Seth joined him and they went in circles around each other for a while before he grabbed his hand, gripped it tight and started them spinning in a tight circle going faster and faster.

It felt like a merry-go-round to Dean and he was laughing until Seth finally let up. Then the vertigo hit him hard and his feet went one way while his body went the other.

"Oh come on!"

Seth was laughing, but was laid out on the ice beside him watching the ceiling spin until it slowed to a stop.

"We need to come up with a good skit for GTA tonight." Seth said as they lay sprawled on the ice together. "Something for Valentine's Day."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it would be awesome if Rockstar put out another DLC and gave us a bow and arrow. We could ride around in the car we had last year and have someone dressed as Cupid, but instead of shooting people so they fall in love, they start killing everybody. Just have a big rampage going on. That'd be pretty cool."

Seth gave a laugh. "Yeah that would be awesome." He sat up and looked over at him. "We can still do that. Just improvise on the weapon."

Dean smiled and sat up. "Okay, but you owe me pizza. And maybe some alcohol."

"Alright." Seth got to his feet and helped Dean up. "Whatever you want."


	19. Chapter 19

"Ha!" Randy laughed as he shot someone else in the foot. "Now go my minions! Fight to the death!"

 

Seth was hiding behind a dumpster with Dean and they were snickering to themselves. "I didn't know cupid was half kinky."

 

"Shut up, you bastards!" Randy yelled. "I'm coming for you."

 

"Come on, Ambrose. Let's go over there." Seth tried to gesture upward so he wouldn't give it away to Randy. "He can't get us if we go there."

 

"Where?!"

 

"Just follow me. Hurry!"

 

Seth took off down the alleyway and up a ladder when he rounded the corner. Dean was right behind him. They had been at this for about thirty minutes. Randy was the evil Cupid, dressed in nothing but his red laced underwear and the Cupid mask. 

 

The rules were that he had to ride on the side of the vehicle and shoot whoever he found and once they had been tagged they had to start shooting the next person they saw until they died and then it started all over again.

 

So far everyone had died at least once and Ash had swapped places with Kofi back as Randy's driver so everyone had a chance to be prey. It took Seth forever to get to Dean because they kept having to dodge and hide from Cupid.

 

But once they finally got to each other, they stuck together and watched each other's back.

 

Dean was right behind him as they continued to climb until they reached the roof. They both ran to edge and peered down as Ash came drifting around the corner with Randy hanging off the side looking creepy as hell waving his pistol around.

 

"Hey! You're cheating!"

 

Seth laughed. "No. No we're not."

 

"We're using our surroundings." Dean giggled and jumped back when Randy shot at him. He missed and cursed.

 

"Damn it! Turn around Ash!"

 

"As you wish my Lord." Ash said in a robotic voice and whipped the car around.

 

"Hang on. I got this." Randy said and Seth watched him pull out his in game phone.

 

"What are you doing, Cupid?" Dean asked and they watched as a helicopter appeared in the distance.

 

"Haha! I'm improvising, bitches." Randy snickered and jumped off the car when the chopper landed. "Pilot!"

 

"I'll do it." Kofi came out of nowhere and relieved Ash of her duties. Ash gave him a salute and she ran off to hide while Kofi got them in the air.

 

"Guys! Get over here. I sense an epic standoff about to go down. Cupid called a chopper." Ash laughed. Bayley and Roman showed up and Kofi finally took them high enough so that Randy could fire at Seth and Dean.

 

"Abrasive maneuvers, Ambrose!" Seth laughed and they started running in zigzags across the rooftop as bullets danced around their feet.

 

"Seth!" Dean yelled and dove in front of him. "This is where you queue in some dramatic music, okay?"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I just took a bullet for you."

 

"How fucking romantic is that?" Roman laughed and gave a fake sniffle.

 

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Dean, don't kill me!" Seth said while Randy was perfecting an evil laugh in the background.

 

"Kill him! Do thy bidding my minion!"

 

"This is epic." Bayley was laughing as she watched with Roman on the adjacent building.

 

"Ahhh! Damn it!" Dean yelled and pointed his gun at Seth who put up his hands.

 

"It's okay, I'll forgive you. Just do what you have to do, Dean." Seth said in a sad resigned voice. Kofi giggled as he kept the chopper hovering over the building.

 

"Do as I command! Can't you feel the urge to kill running through your veins?!" Randy said and Dean was walking closer and closer to the edge of the building.

 

"Yes. But, I can't pull the trigger." He said dramatically. "I won't!"

 

"Kill me, Dean. Do it! Just make it quick!"

 

"No!" Dean was doing amazing. He actually sounded torn. He stepped on the edge. "I'd rather kill myself!"

 

"Wait!" Seth walked over to him and stood on the edge beside him. Dean put his gun down and the others went quiet. "If you go, I go." Seth said seriously.

 

"Together?" Dean asked.

 

"Together." Seth turned around and walked back a bit. "Let's get a headstart."

 

"Too bad there's not a gesture for kissing." Ash said and everyone laughed.

 

"Or holding hands." Bayley said.

 

"Or crying." Roman giggled.

 

"Okay Dean. Take off your hood. I want to see your face one last time." Seth said and Dean's hood disappeared to reveal his face and Seth almost snorted on a laugh.

 

"Shut up." Dean chuckled to himself.

 

"Sorry. You're just so... Beautiful."

 

"Hahahaha!" Dean died laughing and everyone was rolling for two whole minutes before they got quiet again.

 

"Okay. Guys. Come on, let's finish this skit." Seth was wiping his eyes.

 

"Alright, alright." Dean stood beside him. "On three. One. Two. Three!"

 

They took off running and he knew he would have to make this scene in slow motion. They reached the edge and Seth stopped. "Wait!"

 

Dean skid to a stop an inch short of his death. "Jesus Christ! What?"

 

"I need to tell you something."

 

"Then say it!"

 

Seth took a deep breath for dramatic effect and he said his next words in a rush. "I was the one who ate your last two cookies even though I made you believe that you ate them and just didn't remember."

 

Everyone gave an exaggerated gasp and all was quiet until Dean said. "You... You lied to me, Seth? If you wanted the fucking cookies I would have let you have them, all you had to do was ask."

 

"Oh." Seth stated. "Well, fuck."

 

Then he walked off the building to his death, Dean landed a second later as nothing but a splatter of blood and limbs.

 

"Aaaaand cut!" Randy said. "Land the chopper, Kofi. I'm sweating in this damn mask. Where's my hair dresser?!"

 

Bayley came running in on screen and said. "I'm coming, Randy, sir. Sorry, sir!"

 

"Alright guys, let's take a breather." Seth stood and stretched. "Come back in ten."

 

He pulled his shirt over his head and slipped on some sweatpants and before he could get out of his room he heard his name.

 

"Seth, you dick!"

 

He stood at the top of the stairs and saw Dean in the kitchen. "What did I do?"

 

"Exactly what you said you did!" He turned around and gave Seth the stink eye as he came down the stairs. Seth smiled.

 

"You really ate my cookies! I thought you were fucking joking!"

 

Seth didn't say a word, he just walked in the kitchen and opened a cabinet, feeling Dean's eyes burning holes in the back of his head. He pulled out a brand new pack of cookies that he had gone out of his way to hide just for this moment. He even stuck a red bow on top.

 

He turned around and held it out in front of him. "Happy Valentine's Day, you fucker."

 

Dean just stood there with a blank stare on his face until his lips betrayed him and the corners of his mouth stretched from ear to ear.

 

Seth's heart hammered and he felt hot all of sudden. Like, really fucking hot. So hot he thought he could feel sweat beading up on his skin.

 

Holy fucking shit. 

 

Was he sick? 

 

Running fever? 

 

He didn't know, he felt fine.

 

He swallowed thickly and exhaled when Dean's fingers brushed against his when he took the cookies from him.

 

"Thank you." He said, still smiling until he slid his teeth over his bottom lip and a small fire lit itself where it shouldn't have at the base of Seth's stomach.

 

No, that was definitely not a fever. That was something else he was scared to even think about it.

 

"You're welcome."

 

"I didn't get you anything though."

 

"You don't need to."

 

"But, I will." Dean opened the fresh packet and nearly moaned when he bit into the cookie. "These are so fucking good it should be illegal."

 

"And they're only found in Canada, baby."

 

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Keep gloating." He grinned. "I've got to admit though, you guys have some pretty cool shit here. It's been forever since I travelled.."

 

"I know. I mean." Seth pointed at himself. "I'm here. What more does Canada need?"

 

"Some vanilla coke, violence, and bathrooms." Dean said with a wicked grin and Seth just laughed knowing exactly what he meant: Pop, peace, and washrooms. All things of Canada.

 

"Are you okay?" Dean asked suddenly.

 

"I'm fine, why?"

 

"Your skin is super flushed." Dean pressed his palm against Seth's bare chest. "And you're burning up. Fuck."

 

Seth inhaled at his touch, his fingers were cold and felt like a breath of fresh air. If Dean felt his racing heart he showed no sign.

 

"I'm just really hot." He said and rubbed the back of his neck, his hand coming back slick with a thin layer of sweat. "Nothing to worry about."

 

"If you say so." Dean shrugged and put his cookies away. "Let's get back, they're probably waiting."

 

"Yeah." Seth gave a small nod, his mind was still trying to process what the fuck just happened and what was still happening as he stood there watching the way Dean's shoulder blades moved beneath his skin as he walked away. The way the light cast a small shadow on him had his eyes following the line of his spine down to the hollow of his back.

 

He blinked and snapped himself out of it, forcing his legs to move long enough to get him up the stairs and into his room. The others were already gearing up for more and they spent the next three hours in complete and utter chaos, killing each other in the most outrageous ways.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

The daze he'd been in eventually worked itself out and he didn't think about it until the next morning when he witnessed a half asleep Dean walking down the hall in nothing but black briefs and an adorably confused look on his face. 

 

He stopped when he saw Seth and blinked slowly a few times before walking back into his bedroom and crawling back under the covers.

 

Seth stood there for a minute before he turned back around and got in his own bed and stared at the ceiling for two more hours, until the sun was completely up, until the image of Dean's body was wiped from his brain.

 

For days he almost sent one of the others a text.

 

Seth- I need some advice.

 

But, he never could talk himself into sending it. He debated for weeks as the heat got worse the more time he spent with Dean. It got the point where he was used to being on edge, feeling like he was losing air at the most inconvenient times.

 

Like when they were watching a movie and Dean stood and stretched his long arms above his head and Seth couldn't keep his eyes off of the exposed skin of his stomach. Nor could he stop following the line of his hip or wonder where it might lead to if...

 

No...

 

It was already March and one night Seth hit send to the one person he never thought would ask for anything.

 

Seth- Hey, I need some advice. Or your opinion. I just need your fucking help in general... 

 

Kofi- What's up?

 

Seth- I'm losing my fucking mind.

 

Kofi- Explain.

 

Seth- I don't know how to. It's Dean.

 

Kofi- He pissing you off? Or something else?

 

Seth- Something else.

 

Kofi- He eating all your food?

 

Seth- No. I've been feeling a certain way around him. I don't know what it is or what it means. But it's been like this for three months and it's scaring the fuck out of me.

 

Kofi was slow to reply and Seth rubbed his eyes as he layed in his bed. His heart was already running away with his confession but he trusted Kofi with this, and only him. He took a deep breath when his phone finally buzzed.

 

Kofi- What have you been feeling?"

 

He thought for moment.

 

Seth- Well, I get really warm sometimes, almost to the point where I'm sweating. Or sometimes I get a terrible anxiousness and it crawls up my throat and I feel like ripping my hair out. Or his. I don't know.

 

Kofi- And when does this happen? Just when you're around him or is it under certain circumstances?

 

Seth- Well, I'm always around him. But it's mostly when we're doing things together, like a movie, or going out to eat, or just walking around town. Either way, it's when I look at him. Like, when I really really look at him. Or if he's standing there in front of me with that fucking smile of his. Sometimes it's just the way he moves. What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

Kofi- Wow. Seth, nothing is wrong with you. Have you ever considered the fact that you might be attracted to him? I mean, did you even read what you just sent me? Everything you said is just classic attraction, just like how some guys like it when a girl brushes her hair behind her ear, it's the same thing. Just, it's a guy. And there is nothing wrong with that. At all.

 

Seth's head was starting to hurt from thinking about it. Before he could reply, his phone started to ring. He answered.

 

"Seth, listen. I went through the same thing you're going through. When I went to school there was a guy that I always passed by on campus and I always looked for him, every day. And I didn't know why, until one day he made eye contact with me and he grinned." Kofi huffed a laugh. "Like, the butterflies I had were unreal and I started thinking about it. There was nothing holding me back from being attracted to a guy, it was just in my head that I was supposed to be with girls."

 

Seth nodded and finally spoke. "What did you do?"

 

"I asked him out a few days later. We had coffee on campus. We got to know each other then we went out a few times. Kissed. And it was good. Really good. Didn't work out, but my point is that there is a whole new experience out there waiting for you if just realize that you don't have sexual boundaries. If you can just admit to yourself that you can be attracted to a guy and that the world isn't gonna end, you'll feel so much better. About everything. I swear to you, Seth."

 

Kofi heard Seth sigh, frustrated. "Seth, I'm not saying you're in love with him. I'm just saying that you are very attracted to him. Just say it out loud."

 

Seth opened his mouth then shut it and opened it again before pulling at his hair. "I... Am attracted to Dean." He sighed out of relief. "Yeah. I'm really fucking attracted to him. If he smiled at you the way he smiles at me, you'd be attracted to him, too."

 

Kofi gave a laugh. "I believe you. Do you feel better?"

 

Seth sat up and crossed his legs in front of him, his free hand rubbing at his cold feet. He thought for a moment and he looked around his quiet room. The world wasn't ending, he still felt like the same person, he still felt the same towards Dean. 

 

But he had a new found appreciation for him and his sexuality. It was a new feeling, it was freeing to admit it to himself that he could be attracted to a guy just like he was to a girl.

 

"Hang on a second." He put his phone down and walked down the hall to Dean's room and opened the door to find him sitting at his monitor, editing a video. 

 

His headset was on tight and he could hear Zomboy flowing through his ears. Dean was moving his head slowly to the tranquil beat and Seth just watched for a moment. He watched his silhouette, the outline of his face from the side. He was so relaxed. His lips would pull back into a smile every so often when he came across a funny clip. Seth felt that heat again, but this time it wasn't unwelcome, it wasn't confusing.

 

It was Dean. 

 

And it was nice.

 

He closed the door without a sound and went back to his room putting his phone back to his ear. He grinned. "Yeah. I feel better."

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Love Was Meant To Break
> 
> Artist: Andy Black

"Hell yeah!" Dean yelled and it echoed around the empty rink. He was skating like a fucking pro and now he could turn around at will and skate backwards.

 

It was the most exhilarating feeling he'd ever had in his life. It was the rush of wind in his face as the skates glided smoothly across the flawless ice. If he closed his eyes he felt like he was on a fucking cloud. He finally understood why Seth put as much time into it as he could. But to finally be able to be out here with him and be able to keep up and enjoy himself without busting his ass was pure heaven.

 

"I told you." Seth smirked at him.

 

Dean just beamed. "Yeah, you did. Sorry I ever doubted you."

 

"I forgive you. As long as you buy me some of Kenny's pizza for dinner."

 

"Ha! Yeah, okay." Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he kept a steady pace with Seth. "Whatever you want."

 

He'd give him the fucking world if he asked.

 

"I have a question for you and you don't have to answer it. I'm just curious." Seth finally said. He'd been thinking of when and how to bring it up for the past three days and he would probably still be wondering if it weren't for Kofi and his persistent nagging. 

 

Just ask him.

 

"Ask away."

 

Seth kept pace with Dean as they continued making laps around the ice. "Uhm." He fixed his beanie through his hair. "When did you know that you liked guys?"

 

Dean looked at him and grinned. "That only took you three months to ask."

 

Seth laughed. "Yeah, I just didn't want to ask straight away. Didn't want you to think I didn't approve of it or you know. I don't fucking know."

 

"No. I get it. It's a weird question to ask." Dean stuck his hands in his pockets and started to skate backwards so he could look at him. "First time I realized I liked guys. Uh, it was a guy back then that I had known for a while. He moved away for a long time and he came back and I was really happy because, you know, I missed him. He was one of my only friends I had. But anyway, he came back and when I saw him, he smiled at me. Just an ordinary smile, but it hit me so fucking hard... I didn't know what to do."

 

Seth locked eyes with him and he knew exactly what he meant, knew exactly what he felt. He finally looked away from those blue eyes and Dean continued.

 

"His name was Jacob. Jacob Hale."

 

Seth snapped his eyes back to his. "You mean the one you grew up with? The bookstore owner's son?"

 

Dean nodded and glanced at his feet. Seth saw something else when he looked back up at him. 

 

Sad. 

 

He was sad, but then there was a fire behind his eyes and he seemed angry. 

 

Regretful, when he spun on his skates away from him.

 

"Dean..." Seth lunged forward and caught his arm. "What happened?"

 

He looked at the ceiling and closed his eyes. "He ruined me."

 

"How?"

 

"He was so good. We were so good. And if you asked me what my preference was, I'd tell you both. And I still believe that but when it comes down to physical relationships, I'd rather be with a guy." Dean rubbed his face and took a deep breath. "It's hard to explain."

 

Seth held his arms out. "It's just me and you here. Try."

 

"Alright." Dean put his hand on Seth's chest and they slid to a slow stop. "Everything with a woman is great, it's sexy and hot and all diamonds and everything pink and shit. That's what I describe to Renee actually... But with a guy it's so much more intense because you both have that little voice in the back of your mind telling you that you shouldn't be doing it. And that makes it infinitely hotter with everything you do. Once I got to feel that, I didn't want anything else."

 

Seth wanted to say that he understood, but he didn't. He'd never felt that, never experienced it for himself. Because he'd never been with a guy. But he wasn't about to go run out and find one.

 

Not yet.

 

"So why didn't you stay together?" Seth asked him instead and Dean grinned and shrugged.

 

"He ended up being a real asshole, then he just fucking got up and left one day. Haven't seen his sorry ass since."

 

"Douche bag." Seth said and Dean smiled.

 

"Let's go, man. I'm tired." He rubbed his eyes. "I still have three videos to edit."

 

"Yeah, I think I'd rather just watch a movie." Seth smirked and Dean giggled as he unlaced his skates.

 

"No, I need to get it done. And then we can watch a movie."

 

They walked quietly side by side to the car until Dean looked up at the sky as it turned a brilliant shade of purple. The clouds were pink, slowly melting into an orange. "That's pretty."

 

He looked back down to find Seth staring at him, a blank expression, in thought perhaps. Dean couldn't name it but it stirred something in his chest as he got caught in his gaze. "What?"

 

Seth blinked and finally looked down at his hands before unlocking the door, he looked back up. "Nothing."

 

\-------------

 

April came and went and Seth felt normal again. He and Dean continued to work their way comfortably into each other's lives and he wasn't surprised with how close they had become. Or how nonchalant they were with each other compared to a month ago.

 

Dean stopped sending him a five AM. text on Mondays. Instead he chose to sneak into Seth's room and get as close as he could and whisper. "Good morning, hoe."

 

And it scared the shit out of Seth every time. Until the one Monday that Seth was so fucking tired and irritated that when he heard Dean next to his bed and leaning in close to him, he reached out and pulled him down. Dean had flailed and fought but Seth held him in place until he stopped moving.

 

Seth mumbled. "Good morning, bitch."

 

Dean was lying half on him, half off and the weight of his body was nice. It wasn't even twenty seconds before he was asleep again and he woke hours later still feeling that warm weight against his chest. 

 

Dean's hair was in his face and he was breathing deep and soft, his arm flopped over Seth's stomach. Seth thought he would feel something other than content to just lay there all day until Dean woke up. He caught himself tracing a finger over the tattoo on Dean's arm, following the swirls of feathers that led to the smooth pale skin of his neck.

 

Dean flinched, his fingers tightening around his middle. Seth waited until he was still and felt sleep dragging his eyes closed again. But when he woke the next time, Dean was gone.

 

When Monday rolled around again, Seth didn't expect him to come into his room, but at five o'clock on the dot his door opened and he would have been lying if he said he hadn't been laying awake waiting for him.

 

He turned his head to see the familiar shape of his best friend standing beside his bed. He didn't bother leaning in. He didn't bother trying to scare him. He just said. "Good morning, hoe."

 

Seth could feel him hesitating and the word left his mouth before he gave it permission to. "Stay."

 

That was all Dean needed and he crawled under the covers next to Seth and didn't really know what to do from there. But he lost his awkward thoughts when Seth found his arm and pulled him towards him.

 

Dean let his head fall on his chest and his arm across his stomach just as it had the week before and he sighed. It was all he needed, the warm presence of his friend to help him fall asleep. To keep his dark dreams at bay. The dreams he'd never tell Seth about, the ones that kept him up every night.

 

It was like that from then on out. Every Monday they shared the same bed and body heat, but they never talked about it and it worked. It was the best sleep either one of them got. And at times Seth thought maybe it was more than just attraction he felt toward him, but he never lingered on the thought for too long, because he was afraid to go there just yet.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey, Dean. Did you check the mail?"

 

"I did." He said, not looking up from his laptop as he sat at the island counter in the kitchen. "It's by the fridge."

 

Seth walked around him, getting a whiff of the soap he bathed with. It smelled like pine and it buzzed in his head. "You smell delicious."

 

"Thank you." Dean looked at him from the corner of his eye and grinned.

 

"Have you seen any of my bills?" Seth asked as he tossed the junk mail in the trash. "Should've been here yesterday."

 

"Yes. It's taken care of."

 

He turned around and eyeballed his friend. "Taken care of? As in, you took care of it?"

 

"Yes." Dean was resting his chin in his hand and chewing on a piece of gum while he looked at Seth, waiting.

 

"Why?"

 

Dean sat back and gave a small laugh. "Why?" He looked around dramatically and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you've been letting me live with you for the past five months. Maybe because you buy me dinner all the time. Maybe because you let me sleep with you on Mondays. Or maybe because you're just the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'd like to do something nice for you every once in a while. Like pay your bills."

 

Seth just stood there stunned until Dean got up and slapped him lightly on the face. "I'm saying thank you, you idiot."

 

He opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of strawberry iced tea that he'd made. Seth had cursed him for getting him addicted to it but still begged for more when it was gone.

 

"Alright." Seth finally said once he got over the fact that Dean said he was the best thing that ever happened to him. "I appreciate it."

 

Dean brushed past him and looked back with a smirk on his face. "You smell delicious, too."

 

Seth grinned and he almost let his stare linger too long. "So. What are you doing?"

 

"Just finishing this design up."

 

He walked over and looked over Dean's shoulder at the piece of art he was working on in PhotoShop.

 

"That is fucking amazing."

 

Dean smiled. It was a mash up of all of Seth's favorite things thrown into one, tiny props and the SHIELD symbol adorned the design. The colors were magnificent and you had to look really hard to see every thing he'd hidden in it. It all came together in the shape of SR. Seth Rollins.

 

"That's it." Seth pointed at the screen. "That'll be my tattoo."

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

"It's perfect." Seth sighed as he stood shirtless in the tattoo parlor looking at his back in the mirror. It was only the outline that the guy had placed on his skin, but he couldn't wait. 

 

It would fit between his shoulder blades. Dean had warned him it would hurt since it was bigger, but his mind would adjust and the pain would start to ease off after a while.

 

"Are you ready?" Dean asked and Seth nodded as he laid himself down face first on the cushion. He looked up as Dean pulled up a chair in front of him and nodded at the artist. Seth heard the needle buzzing and his heart started pumping faster. He looked up and Dean held his hands out.

 

Seth took them without question, curling his fingers over Dean's, then he took a deep breath. He felt it pierce his skin and he squeezed.

 

"Mhm. That does not feel good." Seth huffed a laugh. He turned his head to the side and closed his eyes.

 

"It gets better." Dean squeezed his hands. "I promise."

 

Seth nodded and he let his thoughts drift off as he lay there, feeling soft fingers rubbing circles on his hands. Seth may or may not have drifted off into a light sleep or a daze perhaps.

 

It felt like an eternity but it only lasted about an hour, but what made him look up was the fact that Dean's hands weren't holding his anymore. His gut tightened at the loss and he cursed himself mentally for wanting them back so bad. He glanced around the parlor and found Dean on the other side sitting in a chair getting the most glorious thing he'd ever seen tattooed on his chest. 

 

It spanned from collar bone to collar bone and was centered in the middle of his chest. It looked like another bird with it's wings stretched out, in flight. But it was the colors that were so beautiful, the feathers were shaded in hues of red, with hints of a deep blue and purple. It was magnificent and he couldn't stop staring.

 

"Alright, man. You're done." The guy, Chase, gave him a pat on the back and Seth pushed himself up from the chair, he had lines from the leather across his body when he looked in the mirror. He turned and a smile stretched across his face. It was perfect and it made him even happier knowing that Dean was the one who made it.

 

Seth shook Chase's hand. "I appreciate it. It's fucking perfect."

 

"No problem. Come back and get another one sometime." Chase grinned at him. "Your friend over there is quite the artist. Best designs I've seen handmade in a while."

 

Seth let his eyes find Dean and he was already looking his way."Yeah, he's pretty amazing."

 

He sat with Dean for another hour until his tattoo was complete, then he took them to a restaurant that didn't mind if they were shirtless.

 

"Dude, everyone is checking you out." They were sitting outside of a small Mexican restaurant, the breeze was just right and the sun was warm. Dean looked up and around as he dipped his chip in more cheese sauce. Seth was right, mostly girls had their eyes on him but there were a few guys eyeing his tattoo. 

 

But he wasn't the only one they were looking at. He could feel their eyes on Seth and he felt the sting of jealousy.

 

"Not just me they're looking at." Dean said and grinned at him. "You're hot too, you know."

 

"So you admit that you're hot, finally?" Seth nudged his foot under the table and Dean took a sip of his tea.

 

"No. I'll never see myself that way."

 

Seth leaned forward on the table. "Well, I see you that way. All blue eyes and pretty smiles."

 

Dean almost choked on his drink. He cleared his throat while Seth smiled at him. "That almost came out of my nose, you ass."

 

Seth threw his head back and laughed and Dean could feel more eyes on them, but the more he watched Seth and the more Seth watched him, he stopped worrying. He didn't care.

 

"So, tell me about the bird." Seth spoke up a little while later and Dean sat back, looking down at his chest. He was in love with it already.

 

"It's a hawk. My mother loved hawks the most and these were her favorite colors." He sighed.

 

"It's beautiful."

 

"Thank you." Dean said quietly, he could still feel Seth's eyes on him even after he looked away. God, he was warm. 

 

But he felt so good. 

 

He always felt good. 

 

And it was all because of Seth and the way he watched him, or how he grinned at him. It was the way he could feel his fingers barely touching the hollow of his back as they left the restaurant, guiding him. 

 

It was the way he held him on Monday mornings, the way his nose brushed his forehead in his sleep, or the way he unknowingly chased his dark dreams away. Dean wanted more. He always knew he would want more, but he was terrified to even try to take it any further. He feared Seth would end up pushing him away.

 

Something caught his eye as they were driving. "Whoa. Pull over there real quick, Seth."

 

There was a Jeep sitting for sale in front of a small business and he read the sale sign. 

 

See store owner for details

 

Seth nodded at him as he waited against the hood of his car. Dean made his way inside, a bell chimed and a small woman middle aged came around a corner and greeted him.

 

"Hi, how can I help you?" She smiled up at him.

 

"Excuse my shirtlessness." He laughed.

 

"I understand. New tattoo. Not a problem." She grinned and shrugged.

 

"I wanted to ask about the Jeep you have out front." He looked over his shoulder.

 

"Yes! That is, or was, my cousin's. He moved across the country and left it with us and I have no use for it."

 

"Is there anything wrong with it, or anything that needs work?"

 

She nodded. "Just one thing. The radiator needs replacing and the oil probably needs to be changed. I mean, the thing runs fine, but it needs to be replaced."

 

"Awesome, I can fix that, no problem. So how much do you want for it?" He smiled and rocked on his heels.

 

"Fifteen hundred."

 

Dean held his hand out. "Sold."

 

She shook it and smiled, "Awesome, I've been looking at that thing for months."

 

"Is cash fine? I can have it for you tomorrow."

 

"That's perfect." She smiled again, "I'm Whitney."

 

"My name's Dean. We'll work out the deed and bill of sale tomorrow, yeah?"

 

"Absolutely. See you then, Dean."

 

"I'll try and have a shirt on next time."

 

"Honey, you and your friend out there can come here shirtless anytime you want." She winked and he gave a laugh before he walked out the door. Seth was still leaning against the car looking sexy as sin and Dean couldn't help but stare at him.

 

"Do you mind driving me back out here tomorrow?"

 

"Sure, why?"

 

"Because this Jeep is mine." Dean smiled and Seth slowly grinned.

 

"What?" He asked and Seth shook his head as they got in the car.

 

"Nothing. I just think Jeeps are hot."

 

\------------

 

They laughed and talked the entire way home with the windows rolled down, letting the spring air whip through their hair.

 

"Water should be warm enough to swim in pretty soon." Seth said as he changed the radio station. "I usually have a small pool party in the middle of summer. Just some of my friends here. We cook, swim, watch some sort of sport. It's a good time. You can blow their minds with your cooking."

 

Dean caught Seth's grin and returned it. "If you say so. Can't say I'll talk much. You know how shy and unsocial I am now."

 

"You'll be fine." Seth nudged his shoulder. "I'll be there."

 

"Yeah." He let his arm hang from the window the rest of the ride home. His fingers caught the warm wind and he sighed, happy.

 

For now.

 

He looked over at Seth and his perfect lips, perfect face, perfect everything. His long fingers as they gripped the wheel had him biting his tongue. Those fingers that drew circles on his skin one night and he nearly melted.

 

Dean looked away, feeling sick. It was a feeling he knew well and it was always accompanied by a restless night and more than likely his recurring nightmare. The same one that plagued him since he was younger.

 

It didn't matter what he did to try and take his mind off of it before he went to sleep, it never failed to haunt him.

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Alone In A Room
> 
> Artist: Asking Alexandria

It didn't matter that he was leaning against Seth as they ate popcorn on the couch, watching another good movie. It didn't matter that Seth's arm was around his shoulder, or that he was letting his head rest against his, or that they laughed for hours while they played with their friends that night.

None of it mattered. It wasn't enough to stop it.

"Where'd Dean go?" Becky asked when she realized Dean wasn't in the Skype call anymore as they continued to play Dead By Daylight.

"He said he was going to bed." Seth said as he found Roman hiding in a corner.

"Damn it, Seth!" Roman yelled. "How long did you know I was there!?"

"The whole time Roman. The whole time." He laughed.

"You know, Ambrose was actually pretty quiet tonight." Ash said.

"Yeah, he was. Considering how he usually is. All shits and giggles." Elias agreed.

"Everything okay with you guys?" Kofi asked and the question had more meaning behind it but that was something only Seth knew.

"Yes. Guys. Everything is fine. He always gets quiet when he's really tired, like beyond the point of having insomnia."

"Okay, if you say so." Kofi said and Seth clenched his jaw because now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He thought about it for the rest of the game. He thought about it while he laid in the bed, watching his fan spin in endless circles on the ceiling.

Was Dean okay?

Or were there things going on in his head that he didn't want him to know about?

He sat up in the bed, rubbing his face hard. He couldn't fucking sleep now, it was two in the morning, and there were thoughts running in his head at a hundred miles an hour. Seth swung his legs off the bed, letting his feet soak in the cold that had settled into the wood floor. He sighed and ran his fingers through his messy hair, but he jerked his head up when he heard something.

Words.

He heard words.

A faint whispering that almost sounded like a plea. He let his feet silently carry him into the hall where they followed the sound to Dean's door. His fingers were turning the knob before he thought about what he was doing and his eyes fell on him.

He was visible in the light of the moon coming through the window, curled around his pillow, eyes shut tight. A sob rang out and Seth's heart twisted in his chest.

"No." Dean whispered as he cried in his sleep. "Where are you?"

Seth crawled into the bed next to him and lightly wiped his fingers across his face. He inhaled sharply and turned to his back.

"Dean, wake up."

"Help me."

"I'm trying." Seth took his shoulders and shook him. "Please, wake up."

Dean's hands were around his wrists in seconds, holding him there as he stared up at him, finally awake. Tears continued to stream down the sides of his face as Dean looked down at him, helpless.

"Hey, it's okay."

Dean closed his eyes and nodded as he released his wrists and sat up next to him. He didn't even wipe at his face, he just sat there in a daze until Seth caught his chin, turned his head and met his eyes. They were a misty blue, clear as the sky and shining with tears. His lips were swollen from crying and sleep, red.

It took everything for him not to touch them. Seth swallowed hard. That moment was the first time he thought about kissing him. It would be so easy, to just inch his face a bit closer, press his lips against his and feel...

"I'm sorry I woke you up." Dean said quietly.

Seth ran a hand across Dean's face, wiping away what wetness he could. "You didn't. I couldn't sleep, I heard you."

Dean looked away from him then down at his shaking fingers. This was new. He was used to waking up crying, but never shaking.

"Does this happen a lot?" Seth asked and Dean caught his eye before he nodded.

"How often?"

"Every other night."

Seth sat up straighter and rubbed his face. "Damnit, Dean. Do you even get any sleep still?"

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. No one had ever asked him, no one had ever known. He was used to getting only four hours of sleep a night now.

Seth huffed."When?"

Dean licked his lips and looked at Seth cautiously before he said. "Mondays."

Seth was taken aback at first, but quickly caught him by the hand before he got out of the bed.

"Don't run from me, Dean." He curled his fingers around his, trying to reassure him, to keep him from shutting him out. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on inside that head of yours. I want to know."

"I need some air."

Seth nodded but didn't let go of his hand. Instead he pulled him up and led him downstairs and to the back door. They walked out onto the back porch and the wind gave a warm gust as they sat on the swing side by side.

Dean pulled his leg up beneath him and leaned into Seth who put an arm around him. It was a position they had grown accustomed to when they watched movies together.

"Storm's coming." Seth said as the wind blew lightly against their bare skin and he was content, with Dean beside him looking up at the sky. The storm clouds were building on the horizon and the lightening was flickering.

"One of my favorite things ever is the breeze before a storm. I love the way it picks up and whips your shirt around, makes you feel like there's something coming, something ominous and dark. I don't know why I love it. Just the gloominess and then sitting outside watching it come down, the smell of the rain."

"I know exactly what you mean. I love it, too." Seth grinned to himself. "That's one of the reasons I want to move south one day. It snows too much here. There's not enough thunderstorms and I'm too in love with the beach. I miss Davenport but watching a thunderstorm build while I'm on the beach, that's my favorite."

Dean hummed. "Yeah, if I could have a beach house, or a fucking shack for all I care, right on the water so I could hear the waves crashing all night.. I'd be happy for the rest of my life."

"Sounds perfect. Maybe one day." Seth's arm tightened around his shoulder and he didn't mean to, he just felt like wherever he would be in the future, Dean would be there, too.

"Maybe." Dean echoed his words and rest his head back against his shoulder. "So you wanna know about my dreams, huh?"

"I do." Seth glanced over at him.

"Alright." He sat up a little straighter. "I'll be honest.. I have had the same dream almost every night since I was twelve. The reason I always stay up late, the reason I'm always up early, the reason why I'm always up all night, is because I don't hardly sleep. For the longest time I haven't had a full night's sleep and I'm used to that. I'm used to being so crazy, so fucking out of my mind."

"Do you always wake up crying... Even when we was together?"

He nodded. "Most of the time. Sometimes I'm just out of breath."

"What's the dream?"

Dean took a breath. "I'm always in a crowd, lost. It's stupid, but that's one of my biggest fears, being lost in a crowd where I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm going, I don't recognize anything or anyone. And I can't find who I'm looking for. I'm just stuck there, running in circles, getting shoved around while I'm looking for a face in the crowd that I know I won't ever find."

"Who are you looking for?"

"It changes. At first I was always looking for Dad. Then for a while it was my sister when she turned eighteen and moved to God knows where, then it was Jacob. For the longest time it was him and that's when it got bad. Even when I was with Renee, it was always him."

Seth was pushing his toes down on the deck, making the swing rock steadily. "And now?"

"Now, it's you..." Dean said and he couldn't bring himself to look at Seth. "And I don't understand it, because it's always been someone that's left me. Maybe I'm just afraid that one day you will."

"Why would I leave?"

"I don't know. Maybe one day I move out, or you get married, or we fight and never talk again. My brain has a mind of it's own, it makes me worry about stupid things."

"Yeah, it does." Seth laughed lightly. "I don't ever see myself getting married or getting so mad at you that I never want to see you again."

"Why wouldn't you get married?"

"Well first of all, I don't date anymore." Seth shrugged. "I mean, I have, but gaming and wrestling gets in the way and they never agree with it."

Dean grinned. "I decided a long time ago that I'd rather be alone than deal with a relationship again."

"Well, that's very optimistic of you." Seth said sarcastically and nudged him. He felt Dean shrug.

"I think I'm doing pretty good so far."

"Yeah." Seth ran his fingers down his arm as the thunder grew louder, closer. "Me, too."

Seth would never say it, would hardly admit it to himself, but he didn't want  
Dean to be in a relationship either.

"Are you tired?"

Dean shook his head. "No. It feels too good out here."

"Mm." Seth agreed and they sat in silence for a long time until Dean stood and walked to the railing, stretching his long limbs before resting his elbows against the wood. The sky was already turning a pale purple while the deep gray clouds moved closer. The wind was steadily picking up and Seth watched him like he always did.

It was a bad habit, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of him. He wondered if it would be this way if he found another guy attractive, but when he thought about it he didn't want it to be anyone else.

Just Dean and the smooth line of his back in the pale morning light.

Just the ripples of his toned arms and the peach fuzz that barely stood above his skin.

Just the faint smell of pine that filled his head when he lay wrapped around him Monday mornings.

Just Dean.

The rain came down shortly after and they watched it from the swing for as long as Dean could keep his eyes open as they rocked back and forth. He'd never felt so tired before.

Normally he was used to it, but it had started to weigh him down after the first Monday he spent in the bed with Seth. He had slept so deep, so good, so uninterrupted. Dean didn't even know what he dreamed about, but if he did he knew wasn't anything bad.

Now, he was spoiled. He couldn't wait for Mondays, couldn't wait to see Seth's sleepy face as he shifted over and made room for him, giving him the warm side he'd been sleeping on. He couldn't wait to feel his fingers mindlessly brush his skin as he dozed back off, couldn't wait to feel his head slowly fall against his as he finally fell back asleep. The rain lulled him, his eyes shutting. He felt the swing stop it's sway.

"Come on." He heard in his ear and the next thing he knew, he was being carried and falling into a bed, Seth's bed, by the smell of his pillows. It was intoxicating.

He heard himself hum when he finally felt the warm, soft, bare skin he'd been thinking about for days pulling him in and he was so tired, but so comfortable and warm. For the first time in a long he felt... Safe.

"But, it's not Monday." He mumbled against Seth's chest.

"If it helps you sleep, then it can be Monday every day."

And that's how it was. Dean would stay up editing and when he was done he'd head down the hallway into Seth's room, crawl into bed, and sleep soundly the entire night.

No bad dreams.

No bags under his eyes.

Seth was happier that way, he could sleep now, knowing that Dean wasn't fighting nightmares and soaking his pillow with tears. He enjoyed the company, enjoyed the warm body that was always next to him.

 


	25. Chapter 25

"Go to Pax and MITB with us this year." Seth said as they fought each other on WWE2K20.

 

Dean was silent for a minute. "But it's so big... And crowded. There's a reason I haven't gone out after all these years."

 

"Yeah, I know that now. But I'll be with you and you can finally meet up with the others. They won't post any pictures of you or do anything to you, I promise."

 

"I don't know. I'll think about it." Dean said and started laughing. "Hey, there's McIntyre over here stealing your chair."

 

"God damn it! These fucking assholes." Seth laughed as they did a suicide dive on Corbin and Samoa Joe.

 

"Well, think about it and let me know. I need to call and reserve a hotel room so I, or we, can stay somewhere close by. I like to be within walking distance of everything."

 

"Okay." Dean said while he attacked the wrestler that was attacking Seth from behind. "Hey, let's hit a point, then I'm gonna go replace that radiator in my Jeep and change the oil."

 

"Alright."

 

They hit a save point and Seth spent the rest of the evening helping Dean pull the front of his Jeep apart and put in back together.

 

"Come here for a sec." He heard Dean underneath the vehicle and got to his knees.

 

"Yeah?"

 

There was a hand on his face, fingers that were slick and wet with an unknown substance. He didn't move, just opened his eyes slowly and shook his head at Dean who was dying laughing as he lay on his back on the concrete.

 

"You done messed up, son." Seth said and reached for a flailing Dean who was trying desperately to get away.

 

"No! No!" Dean dipped his fingers into a small cup beside him and smeared more oil on Seth's face, getting some on his beard.

 

"Ugh!" Seth finally got a grip on his shirt and pulled, sliding him out from under the Jeep. He took the cup from Dean's hand and dipped his own hand into it. But before he could reach him Dean was on his feet and running out of the garage, into the front yard, laughing like a kid. 

 

They circled each other, slowly, Seth taunting him with an evil grin on his face. Dean pulled his shirt over his head and crouched like he was going to fight.

 

"Come on, bitch! Let's go. You want a piece of this?"

 

Seth lunged forward and straight into Dean's stomach knocking him backwards into the grass. "Ahh, fuck."

 

"Did I hurt you?" Seth asked as he straddled his waist. Dean sat up and wrapped his arms around him, spinning them to the side until he was on top, triumphant.

 

"You can't hurt me!" He laughed and Seth grinned as he lifted his oil covered hand up, letting it slide up Dean's torso, up to his neck, leaving a huge black smear on his skin from his belly button to his chin.

 

Dean looked down at himself and then at Seth, betrayed. "You motherfucker."

 

Seth threw his head back in the grass and laughed, even as Dean started to draw dicks on his face with his oily fingers.

 

"That fucking tickles." He gasped out when Dean's finger ran beneath his ear. He squirmed under his weight when Dean smiled down at him.

 

"Oh?" He did it again and enjoyed the sight of Seth laughing and wiggling beneath him. God he was so fucking tempting, Dean could feel the want swelling in his chest.

 

"No, no! Stop! Please." Seth pleaded while he caught his breath. He had tears in the corners of his eyes and black smudges all over his face, Dean wanted to lean down and taste his lips. Mentally, he slapped himself hard.

 

He stood and helped Seth to his feet. "Draw?"

 

"Draw." Seth nodded, still grinning from ear to ear. "It's gonna take forever to get this shit off."

 

"Nah." Dean shrugged. "Just use dish soap. Just rub it on and let it sit for a second before you add water."

 

"And you know this how?" Seth asked with a raised brow as they walked back inside. Dean was using his ruined white shirt the wipe up what he could.

 

"Past experience. Arin, from Game Grumps you know, is a big car guy. I used to help him whenever he was changing things out on his car. He taught me a bunch of stuff about vehicles. Without him I'd still be clueless. Needless to say, we were always dirty." He said and handed Seth his shirt which he took and tried to mop up his face as best as he could.

 

"Just trash that shirt when you're done. I'll use the downstairs shower, you can take the top." Dean said and threw him a small bottle of dish soap before he disappeared into the bathroom.

 

Seth sighed as he walked up the stairs. It would be days before he got that image out of his head, the image of Dean on top of him while he slid his slick hand up his smooth stomach, his fingers gliding up his neck. 

 

He leaned against the cool tile wall as the hot water hit his skin. It stung, but his mind kept racing. He was still so fucking turned on that it was borderline scary.

 

                          ------------

 

"He's trying to get me to go to Pax." Dean told Arin as they co-op on Far Cry 5.

 

"Dude, you should totally go. I'm going this year and I haven't seen your face in months. I fucking miss you man."

 

He smiled. "I know. I miss you, too."

 

"So you'll go? It's in like, three weeks and it's in Los Angeles." Arin was getting excited, he could tell.

 

"I'm just scared of the crowd, I'm scared of meeting everyone. I'm scared of showing my face, what if someone recognizes me?"

 

"Dean, I'll be there. Seth will be there with his big strong arms and killer smile. No one will even think about taking a picture of you. You are famous but I promise you, we won't let you get lost. And everyone has been dying to meet you since the beginning of time."

 

Dean rubbed at his lips. "I'll think about it."

 

"Well think quickly, ya goof!"

 

                        -------------

 

It was June. Which meant Pax and MITB month. 

 

"Just say yesssss. Pleeeeease." Seth whined as he floated in his back in the water. The pool felt amazing and Dean was swimming in circles as the warm sun beat down on him. It was cute watching him beg.

 

"Yes."

 

Seth spun in the water with a smile that could rival the sun it was so bright. "Really?"

 

"Yes." Dean repeated and held his breath when Seth tackled him down into the water. He came up laughing.

 

Seth smacked him in the head. "About fucking time."

 

Dean shrugged. "I figured I'd make it suspenseful for you."

 

"You are a bitch." Seth said but smiled at him. He watched Dean grin and swim off, the water gliding smoothly off his skin as he moved. Seth didn't think it was possible, but Dean was getting hotter by the day. 

 

The more he swam and sun bathed the darker his skin became. Seth was starting to see freckles on Dean's cheeks and nose and the sun was making his hair brighter.

 

Seth texted Kofi one day about Dean.

 

Seth- Dude, Dean is fine as fuck. I can't wait for you guys to see him.

 

Kofi- I can't wait either. Just four days til then.

 

Seth- It won't come fast enough. God, I love California.

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

This was his first time flying to California in years and he was more nervous than he'd been when he flew to Canada with Seth. It was bad, he was feeling sick and he couldn't be still in his seat as they waited for their flight. 

 

Seth was fucking cool about everything, he wasn't nervous, but he didn't have to be because everyone had already hung out with him and loved him. It kind of made Dean jealous.

 

They went through the metal detectors, grabbed their carry-ons, and started walking towards their gate. He was already taking deep breaths, mentally preparing himself. 

 

Or trying to at least. It wasn't working. He nearly ran into Seth who had stopped in the middle of the airport and was looking at him seriously. "Dean."

 

"Seth." He said and raised a brow in confusion.

 

"Calm down." Seth placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

 

Dean took another deep breath. "I am calm."

 

Seth smiled and shook his head. "No you're not. I know you. You're freaking the fuck out inside that head of yours."

 

Dean sighed and looked away. "Just a little."

 

Seth watched his sun tanned freckled face and felt the reassuring warmth he expected in his chest when Dean looked back him with his baby blue eyes.

 

"I'm right here with you."

 

Dean stared at him for a few long seconds and then gave him a small nod, a grin starting to show. They set off again toward their gate and Dean's heart was in his throat when Seth's hand slipped into his, lacing their fingers together.

 

But it wasn't weird.

 

It wasn't sexual.

 

It wasn't wrong. 

 

It was Seth.

 

Seth squeezed his fingers and he looked over at him. "You good?"

 

Dean smiled and huffed a laugh. He was beyond good, he was fantastic. He was happy, he was safe, he was exactly where he wanted to be. But, he was starting to feel something else. 

 

Something so heartbreakingly good and wonderful all rolled into one that had lodged itself deep within his heart, his soul.

 

_He was in fucking love._

 

"Yeah." He squeezed back. "I'm good."

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

"Kofi!"

 

Kofi was standing alone watching the traffic flow go by outside of the restaurant they all had agreed to meet at. He turned when he heard his name and there was Roman walking his way.

 

"Roman!" He laughed and wrapped him up in a bear hug. "How've you been, man! How's Smackdown?"

 

Roman shook his hand. "I'm great! Still my yard, Still getting settled here, but I've been managing quite well. How about you?"

 

"I'm good. I'm just excited to see Dean. Like, I'm nervous." He laughed again and Roman smiled.

 

"Me, too. I've been thinking about it all week."

 

"Kofi! Romeo! What up my dudes!" Ash appeared behind them arms wide. "What y'all doing?"

 

"Ash! Good to see you!" Kofi grabbed her hand and pulled her into a quick hug.

 

"We the only three so far?"

 

Roman nodded. "Yeah, let's see. We still have Elias, Bayley, Randy, Seth, and Dean."

 

Ash smiled. "Yesss! Finally get to meet Ambrose. I'm so fucking excited, man. Just a warning y'all, don't be surprised if I start crying like a bitch."

 

The three of them found a bench and debated for the next ten minutes on how hot they thought Dean would be. Kofi was dead set on a ten out of ten. Ash on the other hand was more on the lines of an eight. Roman was just sitting back watching them argue until Bayley and Elias walked up.

 

"Hey, guys." Bayley smiled at them, shaking their hands and giving them hugs as Elias waved with one hand, his camera in the other.

 

"Good to see you, loser." Kofi smiled back up at Elias.

 

"Who are we waiting on?" Elias asked, looking out at the cars and people going by.

 

"Randy, Seth, and Dean." Ash said and before she could speak again she screamed when Randy was grabbing her by the shoulders from behind and giving her a fake headlock.

 

"Sup, fuckers?!"

 

"Hey, hey." Everybody slapped hands hugged and laughed.

 

Randy smirked. "So, where's stud muffin Seth and our returning mystery man?"

 

Kofi stood and shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked across the street. "I think that's them over there."

 

Everyone went silent and looked hard at the crowd across the street. For two weeks they had all been texting and Skyping each other about how fucking ready they were to see him. But they never said it to Dean's face, they didn't want him to be more nervous than he already would be.

 

"Elias, make sure you don't catch his face in your video, or if you do-"

 

Elias rolled his eyes. "I know, Kofi. I won't put his face in my vlog. Seth already talked to me about it, said he would punch the fuck out of me if I did."

 

They laughed and Randy grinned. "So have they confessed their undying love for each other yet? Cause we are all waiting on it. I mean, Seth called each and every one of us to talk about not posting pictures of him. He's really fucking protective. Never seen him like that about anything."

 

"I know, it's so cute it's disgusting." Roman laughed and shrugged. "Maybe one day my brothers will bite the bullet."

 

"Well, whenever they do, I'm behind them one hundred percent." Kofi raised his hand.

 

"Me, too. I think we all are, right everyone?" Ash asked and everyone nodded and stuck their hands together.

 

"Super Weenie Hut Juniors Go!" Bayley and Ash yelled and they all burst into a fit of laughter.

 

\-----------

 

Dean gave a small whine. "I am so fucking nervous."

 

Seth smiled and looked over at him as they walked down the sidewalk side by side amongst the steady flow of people. "I know. And there's nothing I can do about it, but tell you that you have nothing to be worried about."

 

"I know." Dean cracked his knuckles and ran his hands through his hair. "God damn, I hate my fucking nerves. Why can't I just be like you now, all calm and awesome about everything?"

 

"I'm not always calm."

 

Dean cut him a look. "You know what I mean, Seth."

 

"Hey, I'm trying to get you out of your shell. If you hadn't noticed. I've been taking you places you've never been, making you talk to people you normally wouldn't. One day, you won't even bat an eye when it comes to that kind of stuff." Seth grinned at him and Dean narrowed his eyes but couldn't hold back a pretty smile that made Seth's stomach flutter.

 

"Such a sweetheart." Dean giggled and tried to pinch Seth's face, but Seth caught his hand, threading their fingers as they continued to walk along. Honestly, it was his new favorite thing.

 

"Oh man, I see them!" Dean pointed and Seth followed his line of sight across the street at the restaurant they were meeting at.

 

"Oh man, oh man, oh man. This is really happening." He squeezed Seth's fingers and took a deep breath. Dean was nervous, excited, but nervous. He had been wanting to see them again for almost four years and here he was, finally. It took Seth everything to get him here, but he was here.

 

Seth smiled. "Come on, they haven't shut up for two weeks about finally getting to meet you. Let's not keep them waiting."

 

He pulled his hand from his and it came to rest in the hollow of Dean's back, his favorite spot, as they walked across the street toward the others who were jumping up and waving like idiots.

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

"Oof, he's a total babe. Kofi, you called it." Ash laughed and hit Kofi on the back.

 

Kofi smiled widely. "Hell yeah I did. Look at that guy, he's beautiful."

 

Randy whistled and Kofi cut him a look. "GILF, eh Randy?"

 

He watched Randy nod and smirked. "GILF indeed."

 

Dean was smiling and Kofi immediately understood what Seth meant by what he talked to him that night. He understood why Seth was so attracted to him. That smile was glorious and his eyes as blue as the sky above them. He has definitely changed. Kofi caught Seth's eye and smiled even wider.

 

He held his arms out. "Bring it in, Dean!"

 

"Hey, guys." Dean said and let Kofi hugged him long. He laughed when Roman gave him a bear hug, seeing his brother back had him emotional. Everyone else wrapped around them, forming a group hug.

 

"Now we are all complete!" Ash said over someone's shoulder, he didn't know who.

 

"Now we all know!" Elias cried out. "Now we can all rest knowing that Dean is beautiful."

 

"Screw you, he always been beautiful, ignore him." Roman laughed as Elias gave him the middle finger. 

 

Dean shook hands with Ash, who couldn't stop crying and Randy laughing as Dean gave him a one on one hug and a big smile. Bayley couldn't help but hug him tight, obviously finally getting to see her friend again. Everything was perfect.

 

Seth stood off to the side with Kofi, a grin stuck on his face.

 

"You look like a proud mom, Seth. Watching her child go off into the world." Kofi laughed and Seth rolled his eyes.

 

"He wouldn't have done this six months ago. It's taken a lot of work, on my part, to get him to open up enough and relax. I mean, yeah, he was nervous. But he didn't freak out like I thought he might be about coming back." Seth said and crossed his arms.

 

Kofi moved in close to him and muttered so only he could hear. "That's probably because you were holding his hand."

 

Seth's eyes snapped to his, but he didn't look worried about the fact that he'd seen. He shrugged. "It works. It calms him down. Sometimes he just needs me to remind him that I'm there and I'm not going anywhere."

 

"That's good. It's awesome that you look out for him like that. Everyone deserves a friend as dedicated as you." Kofi grinned crookedly at him and bumped his arm with his.

 

Seth grinned back and they watched as the others took pictures with Dean, but under Seth's strict rule that they keep the pictures to themselves and not post any on social media. He caught his eye and threw a devilishly charming smile his way and he couldn't stop his legs from being drawn to it.

 

He walked up next to him and threw an arm around his neck, his fingers barely brushing against his chest as they stood there in conversation with Elias and Bayley.

 

"Isn't Arin coming???" Bayley asked. "That guy's hilarious."

 

"Yeah, he won't be landing until this afternoon." Dean said and unconsciously reached up and hooked his fingers around Seth's wrist. "He's going to catch us after he gets to his hotel."

 

Elias was eyeing them with a sneaky grin as he held his camera. "You guys. Stop being so cute."

 

Bayley giggled and Dean was about to turn red, he could feel the heat creeping up his neck. He was about to retract his fingers but Seth tightened his arm around him and laughed.

 

"What? You can't handle it, Elias?" Seth grinned.

 

"I made this ship, I can handle the cute. Ya fuckers." Elias waved them off and went inside to get a table together. Ash facepalmed herself at what Elias said and sighed. "Boy come here! How many times do I have to tell you it was the fans first?" She shouted as she went after him.

 

Seth was shocked when Dean laughed quietly to himself, even more shocked that he wasn't closing in on himself like he usually did when he met people.

 

Roman joined their small circle. "Becky, and Rey said they'd be here tomorrow. They'll meet us at whatever building we end up in. It'll be fun having us all together for once."

 

"Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Too bad we don't all live here in the first place and travel too much. We'd have so much fun hanging out all the time." Seth said and looked around, taking in the sight of them all together, laughing, happy.

 

"Maybe one day." Dean said, more to Seth than anyone else. Seth gave him another soft squeeze in agreement before he let him go.

 

"Alright guys I got us an extra long, extra large table. I hope you're happy because I had to use my good singing skills of seduction to convince the guy to cram four tables together." Elias said when he came outside again.

 

"Aww, way to take one for the team Elias." Bayley slapped his cheek lightly and they all started to file in one by one.

 

"So did you and Seth take that test for the Maury show yet?" Ash smirked as she opened the door.

 

"Shut the fuck up Ash!" Seth shouted as they all scurried inside laughing, Randy squeezed Dean on the shoulder as he walked behind him when they went in. "So, Dean. How did Seth convince you to come?"

 

Dean caught Seth's eye as he sat down next to him, their legs flush against one another's. He grinned and looked across at Randy and winked. "Oh, you know.. He's the man."

 

                           ---------

 

"Arin!"

 

"Dean!" Arin was smiling from ear to ear as they ran towards each other. Arin curled his arms around him and picked him up in a massive hug that had been pent up for months. "Oh, God! I missed you so much man. How you been?"

 

Once Dean's feet were back on the ground he looked back at Seth who was talking to Kofi. "I've been good. I'm really fucking great actually."

 

Arin clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Seth still being good to you? I'll kick his ass if not." He gave him a sly grin.

 

"Yeah, Seth's good to me. He spoils me pretty bad and uh.. " Dean rubbed at his neck, a nervous habit. "I'm pretty sure he's ruined me for anyone else."

 

Arin scrunched his brows together. "You saying what I think you're saying?"

 

Dean stared at his black shoes for a moment then looked his friend in the eyes. "Yes. I can't keep telling myself that I don't feel it. Because I do and I'm kind of scared to be honest."

 

"I know, it's just that I haven't felt like this in a long time. And it doesn't even matter because he might not even want to be with me. I don't even know if he'd want to be with a guy. I just don't fucking know. I didn't want it to happen, I shouldn't have left Cincinnati with him." Dean rubbed his eyes hard.

 

"Hey, I know you didn't come to me because your dad would've known that's where you went. But Seth came to you." Arin smiled. "He cares about you. Seriously, the guy let you sleep with him so you don't have bad dreams. If he doesn't have some sort of feelings for you then I'm insane."

 

Dean laughed. "You are insane."

 

Arin shrugged and stroked his beard. "Yeah, but I still think you should keep going for it. From the five minutes I've been standing here with you, he's been watching you for about four."

 

Dean felt the heat creep onto his face, but he didn't turn to look, he trusted Arin. So Seth did look at him when he wasn't aware of it. It was kind of elating. 

 

Fuck. 

 

Who was he kidding?

 

It was exciting, he could feel his heartbeat running away with the fact. He took a deep calming breath and pulled Arin along with him and they joined Kofi and Seth.

 

Arin shook their hands in greeting. "Seth, Kofi. Nice to meet you boys."

 

"Nice to meet you, too, man." Seth smiled and Dean was looking everywhere but at his lips. No, wait, yeah. He was definitely looking at them.

 

Stupid Seth and his pretty face.

 

Stupid Dean and his pretty face.

 

Seth was pissed. His fucking fingers kept reaching for him, without his permission. It made him so fucking itchy he had to clench his fists to keep them from moving any time he was near.

 

What was that?

 

He just didn't want Dean too far away, he didn't want him getting lost in the crowd. Yeah, he kept telling himself that. But it was more on the lines of he wanted Dean close and he didn't want anyone touching him.

 

What that meant, he didn't know. He'd figure it out later.

 

It was late afternoon and the crowds were thinning out a bit, not much, but Dean could breath a little easier. Bayley and Ash had dragged him around like a rag doll for an hour, making him join a team competition with them for Mortal Kombat. 

 

It eventually came down to him and Ash vs. two british guys who were on the verge of owning his ass. He could feel all the eyes on them as they duked it out. Shouts echoed in his ear and he shot a glance into the crowd that had swarmed around the screens. 

 

The proximity of the people behind him was getting thinner and thinner and he started to feel like he was suffocating, like the bodies around him were taking his air and pushing his lungs inside out.

 

He gripped the controller tighter, he would be okay. It was fine. Everything was fine. He was with friends, people he knew. Ash was beside him, Bayley was just over to the side. He was fine.

 

He was fine...

 

"Fuck." He whispered to himself when he started to shake.

 

But it all stopped when two very familiar hands came to rest on his stiff shoulders. They gave a soft reassuring squeeze and he knew it was Seth. He knew those fingers. A heavy breath escaped his lips and he smiled as the anxiety melted away, like it was never even there.

 

"Yeah! Get him D!" Ash yelled after she had died and it was down to the final blows between Dean and the other brit. He managed to pull out his special move and took the guy out like it was nothing. The crowd went mad and screamed, cheered, clapped. 

 

He stood and raised his hands, victorious and he heard Seth and the others behind him congratulating him. He got a small Scorpion statue for it and early access to the game. It was a good night spent with good guys and he didn't really want it to end. 

 

But they were going to do it all over again the next day and the next so he really couldn't complain when Seth was pulling him along towards the hotel after they said goodnight to everyone for the night. He didn't even protest when Seth slipped his hand into his as they walked down the sidewalk. He never would.

 

"That was so much fun." He smiled to himself. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

 

"I don't know yet. I'll check the schedule and see what's going on and I'll let you pick what we do first." Seth looked at him, he looked like a kid that had just been to his first amusement park. His eyes were shining and so was his smile. That's when Seth felt it.

 

That was the first time, right then and there, that he didn't just think about kissing him...

 

It was the first time he wanted to.

 

"What are you doing?" Seth asked when Dean crawled into the other bed in the room.

 

"Uhh... Going to bed?" Dean said, unsure. "Is that a trick question? I'm confused."

 

"No, I just thought you'd be over here with me." Seth said bluntly and Dean gave a small laugh.

 

"Oh." He rubbed at his head. "I just thought you got two beds for a reason."

 

Seth laughed lightly. "I got this room because it was all that was left. But if you want a big comfy bed to yourself that's fine with me."

 

Dean grinned. "I might. I can try it out at least. If I don't like it, I'll be sure to let you know."

 

"I'm sure you will." Seth teased as he cut off the lamp.

 

"Goodnight, bitch." Dean smiled in the dark when he heard Seth's deep chuckle. That rich smooth tone that seeped into his brain and gave him stupidly sweet thoughts. Thoughts that lured him down into sleep. 

 

Until they betrayed him and woke him, making him stare at the ceiling for what felt like hours. He tossed, trying to get comfortable, trying to get warm. Nothing was working and he heard Seth moving around in the other bed so he went still hoping he didn't wake him.

 

He almost jumped when his thick covers were pulled back, but he felt a grin on his face when Seth's long warm body crawled under his sheets and wrapped itself around him. His body was flush against his back, his arm looped beneath his, hand pressed into his chest holding him back against him. 

 

Seth tucked his face between his shoulders and sighed. Dean could feel his hot breath on his skin as it evened out and he fell asleep within minutes. Dean's thoughts took him under again, but this time they didn't wake him up, they let him sleep in peace.

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

Seth woke up first to his alarm which he cut off and rolled back over to his heat source who was still out like a rock. He drifted back to sleep and he woke for a second time, but it was to a light knocking on the door. Then a text.

 

Becky- Wake your pretty face up and answer the door. I told you I'd come bug the piss out of you first when I got here.

 

Seth smiled in the dark and got out of the bed as quietly and softly as he could. Dean didn't move the entire time he was searching in his bag for a shirt and wherever he put his jeans.

 

He opened the curtains a crack and let some bright light in to help aid him in his futile search. He found his jeans and pulled them over his legs and saw Dean's shirt still lying at the foot of his bed. He grabbed it and pulled it over his head. The smell of pine engulfed his senses and he had to think away the warmth that wanted to pool at the base of his stomach. 

 

He tiptoed to the door and as he cracked it open he held a finger to his lips so Becky wouldn't make an obnoxiously loud noise and wake Dean.

 

Becky stood back in the hall and hugged the shit out of him when he closed the door behind him. "It's good to see you Seth."

 

Seth laughed and gave her a hard pat on the back. "Yeah, you too. How was the flight?"

 

"Loooong. But worth it. I'm staying across the street, same floor as Kofi and Ash, so that should be interesting." Becky smiled, her irish accent was smooth, and her green eyes were impossible not to stare at. She was a really good looking gal, but Seth didn't feel what he always felt when he looked at Dean. He wasn't attracted to Becky, but he could agree that she was good looking.

 

"So what's on your agenda today?" Seth asked her.

 

"Other than seeing our ole Deano? I figured I'd just tag along with you boys today." Becky grinned. "That cool with you?"

 

"Of course. Dean's still asleep, but-"

 

As soon as Seth said that the door behind him opened and his favorite pair of eyes peered out at them followed by his favorite smile. Dean had found the black SR shirt Seth had been looking for a minute ago. It looked good on him.

 

"Hey, Becky." Dean smiled even wider when he came out and let the door fall to. Becky's brows inched up her forehead as she grinned.

 

"Ambrose." Becky shook her head and smiled. "Look at you, man." She held her hand out and Dean took it, pulling her into a tight hug.

 

"Nice to see you, Becks."

 

"Likewise. I can see why Seth never shuts up about you now." Becky said and bit her tongue. She wasn't supposed to say that by the look on Seth's face. Dean just laughed.

 

"Look at you guys, wearing each other's shirts and shit. Too cute for your own good, I tell ya." She dodged Seth and ran down the hall. She stopped and turned. "Let's meet for breakfast at the joint around the corner in, let's say.." She looked down at her watch. "Thirty minutes."

 

"Alright, see you in a bit." Seth said and shook his head as they turned back into the room.

 

                         ------------

 

"We need to get him drunk and make Becky play twenty questions with him. Maybe we can get something out of him." Ash schemed with Kofi as they sat in the diner waiting on the others.

 

"Speaking of Becky." Kofi shifted over and Becky slid into the booth next to him.

 

"So, they are totally hot together. Even if they aren't together together." Becky said and Ash nodded.

 

"I told you so."

 

Becky grinned. "They were wearing each other's shirts. It was cute as fuck."

 

Ash groaned. "Seriously, why don't they just admit it already."

 

"Hey, this stuff takes time. The longer the build up, the better it is in the end. We might need to influence it a bit, ya know, scheme here and there. But we'll help make it happen if you guys are up for that." Becky raised a brow at them and Ash grinned mischievously at Kofi who nodded.

 

"We're down. And I know everyone else will be, too." Kofi said and waved when he saw Seth and Dean pass by the window outside, wearing each other's shirts still. His heart melted at the fact and he smiled when Seth held the door open for Dean.

 

Becky lowered her voice. "It won't happen over night, you understand?"

 

Ash nodded. "We know. It'll take time."

 

Kofi smiled. "But it'll be so fucking worth it."

 

Becky met his eyes. "Aye. That it will."

 

                          -------

 

"Just observe, Rey. Observe the obvious love story unfolding before your eyes." Bayley held her arms out in front of him.

 

"Watch how Seth Rollins never strays too far from one person in particular. Watch how he never takes his eyes off this person for too long." Elias narrated in his other ear. Rey stood there with his hand on his chin, observing, making a deduction. He watched as Seth kept his fingers on Dean in some way or another, on his back or shoulder as they walked through the crowd.

 

He watched how Seth watched Dean whenever he was veered off to the side by Arin or Roman for a moment to check something out.

 

"Hm. I see." Rey said. "Yes, I can see the attachment. You'd have to be blind not to."

 

Bayley grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. "This is our ship, would you like to board?"

 

Rey laughed and gave a salute. "Aye, aye, Captain!"

 

                         -----------

 

"Jesus. How can you play stuff like this? It's fucking terrifying." Randy said from between his fingers as he watched Dean test out Silent Hill on the PlayStation.

 

"It's fun, not knowing when something's gonna jump around the corner at you." He laughed at Randy who was hiding his eyes as he walked into a dark room with flickering lights. He played for a few more minutes until Randy forced him away from the horror and took him to Nintendo's setup instead.

 

"Chicken." Dean remarked and made a clucking sound, while Randy rolled his eyes. Dean's phone buzzed in his pocket and he swiped it open.

 

Arin- Hey, they have a fucking lifesize sparrow over here at Bungie. You guys should check it out whenever you're done.

 

He attempted to reply but the building wasn't giving him any signal. He looked back up and Randy wasn't anywhere to be found. Dean thought he might break his phone he was squeezing it so hard. His heart was already trying to escape his chest.

 

Was this really fucking happening?

 

"Randy!" He called out and turned around in a full circle looking for a face he knew he wouldn't find. He couldn't breathe and everything was starting to move a little too fast around him. He closed his eyes and covered his ears.

 

It's okay. It's okay. Just get out. Find an exit. Then use your phone. Call Seth. Seth. 

 

Seth. 

 

Seth.

 

He opened his eyes and he started moving, trying to ignore the people pushing past him or how fucking scared he was.

 

"Seth!"

 

Seth's head turned at the sound and he saw Randy running at him, panic written on his face and he knew right then. He knew that he shouldn't have let Dean out of his sight. His heart was in his throat and he met Randy halfway, the others forming up behind him at the commotion. Randy grabbed his shoulder and took a deep breath.

 

"Where?" Seth asked, trying not to sound furious.

 

"I lost him around Nintendo. He was right behind me, Seth, I swear." Randy was about to worry himself to death. He couldn't believe he fucking lost him. He lost him even after Seth told him not to, that it was a fucking fear of his to get lost in a place like this.

 

"It's okay. Does anyone have signal?" Seth turned and asked the crew and they shook their heads at him. Arin was practically steaming. "I've been trying to call, but nothing."

 

Seth took a deep breath trying not to rip his hair out. Dean was out there, running in circles, scared. He was probably calling out, shaking, getting shoved around just like in his dreams. And Seth wasn't there.

 

"Hey, Seth. We'll find him." Kofi squeezed his shoulder and nodded at him. "What do you want us to do?"

 

Seth looked up at everyone watching him, waiting. "Spread out. I'll take Nintendo. Pick an area, search it, move on. We'll meet outside in the square in thirty. I know him well, he'd probably try to find an exit and hide."

 

"Alright let's go!" Becky called out and everyone split, running off in different directions, finding high ground and searching for a familiar face.

 

Seth pushed his way through the crowd towards Nintendo's massive setup to where Randy said he lost him. He found an empty chair and stood, searching for his black shirt, but a lot of people were wearing black, so it was pointless. 

 

His eyes followed a stream of people that were leaving the area to an exit that let to Microsoft. He ran into the crowd and moved as quickly as he could through the thick cluster of people. 

 

Anyone would have anxiety in a crowd like this so he knew Dean was probably on the verge of something terrible. He finally broke through the crowd into Microsoft's setup and he took a deep breath before he took off again, weaving around booths and representatives. He dodged the faces that pointed and recognized him as he stood on what he could find to get a better view.

 

"Dean!" He called out, but no one turned their head. He could hardly hear his own voice. His heart was thundering in his ears as he ran across the floor to the next exit, Bungie. He was almost back to where he'd started.

 

"God damn it!" He yelled as he pushed through. He ran into Ash and Roman who shook their heads at him. They followed him back to where they'd began and took new directions. Ten minutes to go and he'd head outside to meet with everyone else. For all he knew one of them could've found him already and they were waiting. 

 

He needed to calm down but he couldn't, not until he laid his own eyes on him. He started walking towards the exit, he needed air. He made it to the square and took in a lungful of warm California air. He pulled out his phone, he had two messages from five minutes ago that had finally come through. One was from Elias.

 

Elias- I think I saw him, couldn't get a good look, but they were headed outside. Couldn't find him again.

 

The other was from Randy.

 

Randy- Seth, he's somewhere outside!

 

Seth looked up at the groups of people walking around in the darkening afternoon light. One person was moving a little faster than the others. Seth ran when he saw blue eyes.

 

Kofi made it outside with Becky, Roman, and Ash and were about to join Seth but all of a sudden he bolted. Roman was about to follow but Becky stopped him.

 

"Just wait." Becky grinned crookedly at him. "He found him."

 

Seth lost his breath when Dean turned and saw him running. He picked him up in a hug and he tried his best not to let the tears collect in the corners of his eyes.

 

"I'm so fucking sorry." He finally breathed and could feel Dean shaking figure slowly stop the longer he held him. Dean's fingers dug into him and he buried his face into his neck, letting his heart settle into a normal rhythm.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Seth kept repeating as he held him tighter, closer.

 

Dean nodded, his lips brushed Seth's neck. "It's okay. I'm okay. You found me."

 

Seth finally pulled back. Their cheeks slowly glided against one another, and for a split second their lips were mere centimeters apart. Seth felt his hand on Dean's face as he locked eyes with him. The only thing that stopped him from doing it, from closing that small distance was a firm hand on his shoulder from behind.

 

"You found him! Thank, God." Arin sighed heavily as Seth stepped away and let Arin hug his best friend. Seth rubbed his lips and his heart was skipping away again. He wanted it and he almost took it. He almost fucking did it. Seth glanced back as he walked over to the others, he caught Dean's eye. He grinned over Arin's shoulder and Seth returned it.

 

"You alright, man?" Kofi asked when he walked past them and sat on a bench.

 

Seth looked up at him and huffed a small laugh before rubbing his face. He sat back and shook his head at himself. "I'm fine. Just glad we found him."

 

"You sure that's all?" Kofi asked as he sat beside him. Seth looked him dead in the eye.

 

"I don't know."

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

"Becky, you are such an evil little fuck." Roman shook his head as they stood there.

 

Becky shrugged. "You said you were down for it. You all did."

 

Bayley nodded. "Yeah, we did. I think it was worth it. We almost got them to kiss, I'd say we made progress."

 

Randy laughed. "Hell yeah. I totally took one for the team though. I was expecting Seth to punch me to be honest."

 

"Are we terrible friends for doing this?" Ash asked.

 

"Nah, it's for a good cause." Elias shrugged. "How about we skip all this tomorrow and just go to the beach?"

 

"I'm in." Bayley said and everyone agreed.

 

Kofi crossed his arms. "I'm down for that."

 

"Down for what?" Dean came up to them with Arin close behind giving them a nod. Kofi couldn't believe the guy had gone along with it. He was just as protective of Dean as Seth was, it took some convincing.

 

"Beach tomorrow, instead of this." Kofi waved his hands around. "It's going to be three times as crowded tomorrow since it's the last day."

 

"Beach sounds great." Seth piped in now that he was out of his deep thoughts on the bench.

 

"Yeah, sounds fun." Dean nodded.

 

"Wait, don't any of y'all got a match tomorrow night?" Ash questioned the others which made Randy getting pissed for forgetting about his match with Styles.

 

"How about we just go find somewhere to eat and then call it a night?" Arin offered up and they all began a trek through the city together and ended up doing way more than dinner. They did laser tag, hide and seek in a park, dipping dots, fried donuts, a few shots of something terrible, and pictures in a photo booth.

 

Dean had no idea how they all crammed into it but they managed, probably broke something in the process. Seth had his hand the whole time. No one batted an eye, stared, or said anything about it. They accepted it and Seth wasn't going to let him go again. They met the one and only Markiplier on the sidewalk and arm wrestled strangers until they couldn't tell what time it was anymore.

 

Seth was out of his clothes in seconds once they were back in their room. He cut the AC off and opened the balcony doors, letting the breeze roll in. The air had cooled off with the sun had gone and he couldn't get enough of this place. 

 

Ever.

 

He left the doors open as they drifted off to sleep. He had an arm behind his head, the other was playing with the ends of Dean's hair as he snored quietly against him. He didn't know how they got like this, but he liked it this way. He liked how they could sleep in the same bed together, hold hands, and it never got awkward, never got weird. 

 

But if he had kissed him.. 

 

If he had closed that space, what would've happened?

 

He didn't know, but he thought about it all night and when he woke up tangled in Dean's limbs. He thought about it in the shower, when they were in the cab, when Dean was shirtless on the soft sands of the beach.

 

Everyone was admiring Seth's tattoo and groping Dean's chest as they gasped at the bird.

 

"You should make us one. Something we can all get done." Kofi said and Dean smiled up at him.

 

"Yeah, I can do that."

 

"I don't know about Randy, he already got enough of those weird looking worms on his back." Seth smirked and Randy immediately speared Seth into the water. Dean was laughing so hard tears were coming out of his eyes as his friends wrestled in the water. 

 

He felt hands around his waist and threw him off the deck screaming as he hit the water. Roman came up behind him in the water as they play fought making Randy and Seth laughing their asses off.

 

Seth thought about it as they fought with each other in the ocean as well and as he watched the sun soak up the water droplets on Dean's tanned skin as they lay on their towels. 

 

It was still on his mind as they ate lunch at a little shack of a seafood restaurant on the beach close by. And it was on the tip of his tongue as they watched the water wash on the shore, the sun setting on the horizon.

 

"Are we weird?" Dean asked him as they sat by the water away from the others and the water lapped at their ankles.

 

Seth raised a brow. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

 

Dean laughed. "Yeah, now that I think about it. No, I was just thinking that it's sort of weird the way things are. How touchy feely we are, ya know?"

 

Seth inhaled and stared out at the water. "It's not weird to me. I'm used to you. I sleep better with you, I hold your hand to keep you calm, to keep me calm. I've never been close to anyone like I am with you. Never had such a good friend that knew me like you do now."

 

Dean stared at him for a long moment then smiled out at the water. "Neither have I."

 

He leaned closer and they sat like that until the sun disappeared, shoulders pressed together. They joined a big bonfire down the shore and had a blast dancing like idiots for hours to music that sang to his soul. Seth watched Dean as he moved with the beat, a smile gracing his face. He wet his lips and Seth thought.

 

Maybe one day.

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

They ended up at the arena at Money In The Back backstage where Randy and Kofi had to perform. Everyone backstage was ecstatic to see Dean again, even Stephanie herself, she asked so many questions and always gave her answers in return.

 

Seth was talking to Hunter apologizing for the delay of his return to wrestling but he stopped him right there. "Seth, your alright. I can understand what Ambrose has gone through. Believe me I've been there before. Take as much time as you need with him. He needs you more than anything." He smiled and patted his back and turned to see Dean and Stephanie. Seth was confused by what Hunter said but he dropped it as everyone said their goodbyes the next morning.

 

Seth was giving goodbyes to Kofi and Roman as they walked to their gates.

 

"Til' next time, my brothers!" Kofi threw his hands up and smiled as he walked backwards.

 

"I'll hit you ladies up when I get home. We need to get together again soon. Peace!" Roman called out and turned.

 

"Holla!" Seth called out and laughed before he turned around and started back toward Dean. But he went slow because he could tell he was having a heavy conversation with Arin.

 

"So, have you seen my dad around?" Dean asked quietly.

 

Arin nodded. "Just once. I was at the store." He shrugged. "He looked like shit, probably drunk. I'm surprised he hasn't died yet."

 

Dean swallowed, feeling a little sick. "Yeah, me too. Listen, we need to get together soon, hang out and do stupid shit. I can fly down or you can come up, either way. I miss you sometimes."

 

Arin laughed. "You better miss me. We'll hang out, don't worry about that. As long as Seth will have me, right Seth?"

 

Seth smiled as he walked up to them. "I don't know, man. You two together, you'd probably burn the house down."

 

"Nah, we'd just set the smoke alarm off a few times, maybe put some soap on the floor then make you run down the stairs." Arin winked and Dean laughed.

 

"Hell no." Seth laughed. "Seriously though, you're welcome up there whenever. Just give me a heads up."

 

"Yes, sir. Well guys my flight's about to board, I'm gonna head that way. You take care of yourself, Seth." Arin shook his hand and pulled him into a quick hug and said in his ear. "Take care of my boy."

 

Seth pulled back and caught his eye and there was something hard and serious in the way he was looking at him. But, Seth nodded. "I will."

 

Arin turned to his friend. "Dean." He hugged him tight and squeezed until Dean pretended to lose his breath and die on his shoulder. Arin let him go after he laughed.

 

He patted his cheek and messed up his hair. "I love you, man. Have a safe trip."

 

"Love you, too. Tell Dan I said you missed out. Text me when you land, yeah?"

 

Arin snapped his fingers and pointed as he walked away. "You got it, brother. See you around."

 

They watched him go and Seth saw something settling on Dean's face that he couldn't quite figure out.

 

"What's up?" He asked when they sat down and waited, watching the people go by until their flight was ready.

 

Dean shook his head and put his hands in the pockets of his signature leather jacket. He didn't look at him. "Nothing."

 

Seth chewed at his lips, thinking. He didn't want to push, but he really wanted to know. He didn't want Dean to keep things to himself. Seth wanted to be the one there for him, the one that listened.

 

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He tried and Dean's mouth curved up in a grin and he nodded.

 

But then he looked over at him. "Yeah. But not everything."

 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

 

Dean shrugged and gave a quiet laugh. "I'll let you know one day. But, not today."

 

Seth wanted to protest, but he couldn't. Not when Dean was looking at him like that, grinning sweetly, squinting slightly. It was like he was waiting for him to retaliate, to push just a little even though he wouldn't give up what was on his mind. Not until he was ready to.

 

Seth sighed lightly and let his arm rest on the back Dean's seat. "Okay."

 

Then he smiled and Seth thought he was used to the feeling it gave him, but for two days now the feeling had been amplified by ten. Now he had to fight the feeling down and hold back the urge to press their faces together. It was fucking infuriating.

 

"Are you home sick?" He asked, trying to change the subject and what Dean said next made his heart hurt.

 

"I feel pretty at home with you... so, no." Dean said and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against his arm. Seth couldn't speak, he just smiled even though Dean wouldn't see it.

 

He felt good, so good. It was new and he didn't really know what it was, but he wanted to keep it. He wanted to keep the warmth that was settling in his chest when Dean wrapped his fingers around his when they walked to their gate in a comfortable silence. He wanted to keep the feeling of his skin against his, so fucking soft and perfect and home. He felt like home.

 

                         -----------

 

"Kenny, this is Dean. Dean, Kenny." Seth introduced them as his friend came inside. "I've known this guy since forever. He's a little punk ass, but you know."

 

Dean laughed and shook his hand. "We'll get along fine, then."

 

Kenny smiled. "One question, Dean."

 

"Ugh." Seth rolled his eyes and walked off.

 

Dean grinned. "What's that?"

 

"What is your all time favorite movie?" He asked and crossed his arms, waiting.

 

Dean hummed in thought and took a sip from his beer. "The Goonies."

 

Kenny's hands shot up in the air and he yelled. "Haha! Yes!"

 

"Get the fuck out, Ken!" They heard Seth's voice coming through open back doors and laughed.

 

Kenny gave Dean a light slap on the arm and headed towards the kitchen where he stored his drinks in the fridge, pulling out a cold one. "Goonies is mine, too."

 

"Did we just become best friends?!" Dean said. Kenny spun and nodded dramatically. "Yep!"

 

"Hey, Seth. Is Lisa still coming?" Kenny asked when they walked onto the back porch with the rest of the guys that had come.

 

"Yeah, she's got to drop Casey off at her sister's house first." Seth said without turning from the grill.

 

"Dude, Dean." Ben, one of Seth's ice skating buddies spoke up with a mouth full of a sausage casserole. "What is this? It's like an orgasm in my mouth."

 

Dean winked at him. "It's a secret."

 

Seth looked up at him and grinned and in Dean's opinion it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

 

"Don't say it." Seth warned.

 

Dean broke into a smile. "So you should ask the beast slayer he's got in his pants."

 

"Oooooh!" The guys hollered and burst into laughter. "Damn son, you just got called out!"

 

Seth came off the porch faster than Dean could process it and was tackled into the pool, the warm water swallowed him whole. They moved slow beneath the water and he felt the tip of Seth's nose dragging across his stomach as he rose. His lips caught his chest and when they surfaced, their faces were way closer than they should've been. 

 

Seth shook his head like a dog, showering Dean with more water as he laughed.

 

He jumped, putting all of his weight on Seth's shoulders pushing him back under. He tried to make his escape while he could but felt strong hands catch his feet and they pulled yanking him down again. Seth laughed and crawled onto Dean's back, wrapping his arms around his neck and legs around his waist. Dean was literally holding all his weight.

 

"Shit! You're heavy, you fucking monkey." Dean laughed and tried to keep them both above the water and make it to the shallow end.

 

"Just take it back and I'll let you go." Seth said deeply in his ear and he tried to fight the goosebumps forming on his neck. He felt Seth's lips brush the edge of his ear and then he was fighting back heat and what would surely be a terrible erection. He gasped when Seth tightened his whole body around him.

 

Jesus fucking Christ Seth.

 

"I take it back! I take it back! I didn't mean it!" He screamed, more like pleaded, hoping Seth would let him go and increase the distance between them. 

 

Quickly.

 

"Booo, Dean! You suck!" They guys called out and laughed. "We thought you would hold out longer than that!"

 

He laughed it off after Seth unwrapped himself and swam away, much to Dean's approval. He swam to the edge of the pool and caught a beer as Kenny tossed him one. He uncapped it and drank half in one go. 

 

It was a close call and he sighed gratefully when the heat in his gut finally made itself scarce and stayed gone for the rest of the day.

 

                        ------------

 

Seth was lying in a chair next to Lisa as they soaked up the sun, he squinted behind his aviators. Dean was with the other four guys in the pool with another beer in hand, laughing his ass of at something Ben said. Probably something embarrassing about Seth from over the years, he was sure.

 

Then he heard them swapping tattoo stories and Seth watched him across the way, knowing Dean couldn't see his eyes. But, he looked his way on many occasions, smiling and it was doing it's job making Seth flustered. He sat up straighter in his chair and Lisa laughed lightly beside him.

 

"What?" He glanced at her.

 

She got up and turned, laying on her stomach and smiled at him. "Oh, nothing. It's entertaining to watch you."

 

Seth thought for a moment but came up empty. "Watch me?"

 

"Yes. It's cute the way you get frustrated over him." She rested her head on her hands and waited for his response. "I'm not blind, Seth. So don't try to make an excuse for this one."

 

He opened his mouth and looked at her, closing it again before he shrugged. "He's extremely frustrating."

 

"Why, because you like him? Or have you not figured that part out yet?" She smiled when he looked at her again and shook his head. He was adorably confused about it and she'd known for a while. "It's okay, you'll figure it out eventually. But I'll go ahead and tell you that I wish someone would look at me the way you two look at each other."

 

He sighed, pushing his glasses back and rubbing his eyes. "I need another drink. You want something?"

 

"Sure, anything will do." She grinned up at him as he stood. He walked toward the house and she watched Dean, his eyes were on Seth the entire time. She didn't bug Seth about it for the rest of the night, but gave him a wink when she left to go get her daughter. He had smirked, but gave her a warm drunk hug and waved her off.

 

"Drive safe, Lise."

 

She put a hand on his face. "You ever need to talk, you call me. Okay?"

 

He nodded.

 

When he started feeling more like a little brother than just a really good friend, she couldn't remember. But she loved him to death and would do anything for him, she'd even help him figure out that he was in love with his best friend because he sure as hell hadn't figured it out yet.

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

"Oh shit! I made dessert, almost forgot!" Dean hopped up from the step on the pool and ran inside. He stumbled a little when he pulled open the refrigerator. Seth was coming out of the bathroom at the same time and laughed.

 

"How drunk are you?"

 

Dean shrugged and started laughing at himself. "A lot."

 

"You're a lot drunk?" Seth giggled, he was pretty far gone himself, he could hardly see straight.

 

"Yeah." Dean waved him over lazily. "Come try this, make sure it's good."

 

"I'm sure it's amazing, master chef." Seth said but walked over to him anyway. Dean pulled out a home made cheesecake that had chocolate and cherry swirls on it. Instead of grabbing the spoon that was right there on the counter, he stuck his finger in it and then held it to Seth's lips, all the while biting his bottom lip trying not to laugh at everything that moved.

 

Seth flicked his tongue out first then took his whole finger in his mouth, sucking the cheesecake off. He pulled back with a small pop and Dean's face was flushed, but that was probably just the alcohol.

 

"Mm. Best thing I've ever put in my mouth." Seth said and smiled at him.

 

"My finger or the cheesecake?" He asked and then rubbed his lips together.

 

"Both." Seth winked and Dean pushed him with a stupidly sexy smile. Seth was feeling way too hot.

 

"Perv."

 

Seth laughed. "You asked."

 

"I'm just fucking with you."

 

"I know."

 

"I know you know." Dean grinned as he got more forks out for everyone.

 

Seth moved around him and poured himself a glass of tea. He took a swallow and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

"Well, I'm glad you like it." Dean smiled at him again and Seth didn't listen to the voice that always held him back, because he was so tipsy he couldn't hear it. Seth grinned lazily, hummed, and placed a soft kiss on Jonathan's freckled shoulder.

 

"It was amazing, thanks for cooking today." He said softly and let the back of his fingers run down Dean's side before he walked away.

 

He heard a quiet. "You're welcome." And he rejoined the guys and Dean returned shortly, this time with plates of cheesecake. The guys nearly died over it, begging Seth to let them take Dean home and stow him in their own pantry for safekeeping.

 

Dean kept catching Seth's stare as he sipped at his tea, sitting on the opposite side of the fire pit in the yard. The flames were flickering in his deep brown eyes and at times they seemed gold, like honey. And then he would smile at something, anything, then look in his direction. Dean curled his toes at how bad he wanted him. 

 

A kiss would be nice. 

 

Just one.

 

Like the one he almost got a month ago after Seth found him at the convention. Dean shivered at the memory, exhaled at the fucking fire that was burning through him.

 

Or maybe it wasn't an almost kiss, maybe it was just extremely amplified concern that had Seth grabbing his face and breathing hot worried breath against his lips.

 

Whatever it was, he looked up at Seth again who was still staring into his soul, he wanted it for the rest of forever.

 

It was late, midnight late and Seth was showing his friends out the door, Andrew was driving the boys home since he made himself the designated driver earlier that evening.

 

"Be careful, you guys!" Seth called into the night as they pulled out of the driveway.

 

Ben was nearly hanging out of the window. "Hey! Your boy is pretty cool, bring him around for some skating next time!"

 

"I will!"

 

Seth waved one last time then shut and locked his front door. He took his time walking to the pool, the floor was trying to move out from beneath him.

 

Dean watched Seth raise his arms above his head and stretch. His swimming shorts were dangerously low on his tan hips. Dean went under and kicked off the side of the pool, letting the water slow him down to a crawl.

 

Seth was too drunk for his own good, he should have stopped an hour ago, but he was feeling too warm and fuzzy and touchy feely. Dean came back up looking like Paul Walker in a David off commercial and Seth nearly let an embarrassing sound escape his lips.

 

Seth slipped into the water and smiled at him feeling gutsy all of a sudden. "Let's play twenty questions."

 

Dean gave a short laugh as Seth swam in a tight circle around him. His iPhone was still playing endlessly in the background and it was just the two of them. "Ask away."

 

"Is it safe to swim while we're drunk?" Seth asked.

 

"Probably not, but you'll be fine as long as I'm here." Dean grinned.

 

"Why is that?"

 

"Cause I'm a handsome son of a bitch."

 

"Ohh yeah!" Seth started laughing and almost couldn't stop. Dean pulled him along to the steps so they could drink and laugh and not worry about slipping under.

 

"Twenty questions!" Seth sputtered still giggling. "Your turn, baby."

 

Jonathan rolled his eyes at the endearment, but laughed. "Let's see. Uhh, what's your favorite tv show?"

 

"Game Of Thrones, easy." Seth said. "If you could have sex with any celebrity who would it be?"

 

Dean almost snorted. "That escalated quickly. Um, probably Channing Tatum or Jake Gyllenhaal."

 

"Why?"

 

"No, my turn." Dean elbowed him. "Who would you have sex with?"

 

"Hands down, David Beckham." Seth smiled. "Now, why Channing or Jake Gyllenhoweveryousayit?"

 

Dean leaned back against the steps and looked up at the stars in the midsummer sky. "The muscle. It's the sexiest thing on a guy. And I just really like Jake Gyllenhaal's face, he's fucking hot. Why David Beckham?"

 

Seth shrugged. "Cause he trumps every other celebrity crush ever. His eyes mostly, so blue, and his hair. The tan skin like he lives on the beach or something, probably smells like coconut... Or pine."

 

Seth went quiet and listened to Dean quietly agree beside him. "Mhm." And then it hit Seth that he pretty much described Jonathan, minus the tattoos and the pierced ears, which were totally sexy and he just really wanted to clamp his teeth down on something.

 

"Your turn." Dean whispered.

 

Seth watched the stars stutter and shine against the atmosphere. "Who's your favorite YouTuber?"

 

"Seriously, why would even ask that?"

 

Seth just giggled.

 

"Honestly..." Dean said and looked over at him. "You obviously."

 

He smiled and swam back into the water. Seth followed him watching the water glide off his skin and there was that gutsy feeling again. Dean came up and had his back against the wall, wiping the water from his face.

 

Seth went under and opened his eyes slowly floating closer until his outstretched fingers touched Dean's hard stomach. He felt him flinch and then relax as he swam closer pressing his hands against his warm skin. He let them slide up his torso to his chest and as he broke the surface and took a breath he let them fall and settle on his hips. 

 

Seth pressed him into the wall and listened to his breath as it faltered. He shook his head and the water fell around them, then Dean's fingers were on his arms, gripping him tight.

 

Seth couldn't stop, his head was full of fuzz and very hot thoughts and Dean's body was nice against his. He let out a pent up breath and dragged his lips up Dean's neck, to his ear. The man shivered.

 

Seth pulled his fingers up to his chin, tilting Dean's head back as he let his teeth run across his jaw line.

 

"Seth."

 

Dean muttered, his breathing was labored, his heart out if control, his grip tightening. Seth's thumb was dragging across his lips until he pushed down, opening his mouth. Brown eyes met blue and Seth couldn't think.

 

"Seth, stop." Dean said faintly against his lips as they barely touched. He felt something heavy pushing him back.

 

"No." He practical growled and tried to press their lips together. He let out a breath of frustration when everything got remarkably brighter.

 

"Seth, wake up."

 

He blinked hard and when he opened his eyes he was in his bed holding his hand up to the light that was filtering in through his window. His nose was against Dean's face, his lips on his jaw.

 

"Oh my God, shut the curtain." He said in a scratchy voice.

 

"I would, but you've been trying to rape my face for an entire minute now." Dean said and laughed when Seth pulled back and looked at him.

 

"I have?"

 

Dean rubbed his face and tried to move, that's when Seth realized he was laying all over him. He rolled off of him and watched him get up and shut the curtain. There were barely visible scratch lines on his chest and neck and Seth swallowed, feeling the heat on his face.

 

"I'm sorry." Seth sat up in the bed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to."

 

"Don't worry about it. I managed to hold you off." Dean grinned and sat at Seth's computer, powering it up.

 

"When did we go to bed last night?" Seth asked and cleared his throat. Dean didn't turn around from the screen and Seth watched him mindlessly rub at the scratches on his neck.

 

"After you walked the guys out. Midnight-ish. You almost passed out in the living room, but I got you up the stairs before you turned into dead weight." He looked back and grinned.

 

"We didn't get back in the pool first?" Seth asked cautiously.

 

"No." Dean shook his head. "We went to bed and I woke up when you rolled over on me and tried to eat me."

 

Seth rubbed his lips together, trying not to laugh at the image. "Sorry."

 

So it was a dream. Everything about the pool after he said goodbye to the guys was a dream...

 

Well thank God, he didn't know if he could look at Dean sober knowing he had felt him up and tried to kiss him while he was drunk. But it was a good dream. 

 

He grinned to himself and got out of the bed in search of food in the kitchen. Dean was soon behind him and Seth pouted at him.

 

"I'm hungry." He rubbed his belly dramatically and Dean stuck his lip out before walking over and brushing Seth's bed head hair off his forehead.

 

"Aww, does the baby want some pancakes?" He grinned when Seth nodded and laughed. "And bacon?"

 

"Yesss, that sounds fucking wonderful." Seth smiled and let his head fall on Dean's shoulder. The same one he kissed last night. Now that was something he did remember and that wasn't a dream.

 

"Mm." Dean's fingers rubbed at his back and then ruffled his hair before he started pulling food and pans out of the cabinets. It didn't take him long to cook and Seth sat at the island on a stool and scrolled through his phone while Dean fried and stirred.

 

He was still in his briefs, which was normal, he and Seth had reached the walking around in underwear together stage a long time ago. But it was extra hot today. His muscles were pulling under his skin here and there and his bed head was ridiculously attractive.

 

And his ass. 

 

Yes, his ass was very nice.

 

He snapped a picture of him from behind as he cooked, a hand towel thrown over his shoulder.

 

He sent it to Kofi. 

 

Seth- HELP ME!

 

Kofi replied almost instantly. 

 

Kofi- Oh my Lord Jesus. House Husband of the year award right there! 

 

Seth grinned lazily and watched a few videos on his phone while Dean's food filled the house with amazing smells.

 

"The guys like you." Seth said as they sat together and ate, sipping on freshly juiced oranges. "They want you to come in and do hockey some time."

 

"Never played hockey in my life." Dean said as he bit down on a piece of toast.

 

"It's easy and it's fun. Kind of brutal, but fun." Seth shrugged and bit into a piece of bacon. "Mm. Shit this is good."

 

Dean mumbled in agreement. "Well, I'd be down for skating or just watching. I'd rather save myself the embarrassment for now."

 

"Okay." Seth grinned warmly at him as they ate the rest of their breakfast in silence except for when Dean giggled as he started watching Ash's latest animated video a fan had done for her. It was a video that was about Seth and himself and a stupid skit they'd done on GTA a few weeks ago.

 

"What time are we playing today?" Dean asked as he rinsed off his plate.

 

"In about two hours. Let's grab a shower and head to the store. We should be done before then. I need to mail off a card to my sister too, her birthday is in two days."

 

"Alright." Dean gave him a nod and moved over so Seth could wash his plate. They were shoulder to shoulder, hair a mess on both heads, and content grins set on their faces. Dean never wanted this to end, he never wanted to leave, never wanted to move on from what he and Seth had. It was perfect.

 

He dried his hands and Seth grinned at him. "Thank you."

 

Dean turned, smiled smoothly, then pressed a small kiss to his shoulder. "You're welcome."

 

He made his way to the bathroom and glanced back at Seth who was still standing there at the sink, motionless. Dean bit back a laugh and started his shower. Seth probably didn't think that he remembered that last night, but it had been fresh on his mind since it happened. 

 

Just like how Seth had groped the hell out of him this morning and ran his lips all over him. Now that would be on his mind forever, and more than likely while he was in the shower.

 

It took them only an hour to get groceries and run by the post office so Seth could send his sister a present and a card.

 

To my dear young sister, whom I love to hate. Happy birthday :)

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

Back at home, Seth was setting up a game on Call of Duty Prop Hunt. Dean joined soon with the others and they duked it out.

 

"No, Dean. No fucking way." Seth said shaking his head, Dean had found the perfect spot wedged against a wall. "That is the best spot, hands down. That beats Roman's couch!"

 

"What?! Nothing is better than my couch!" Roman yelled. "My beautiful stained couch."

 

"Oh man, I hate you. That is so good." Seth groaned.

 

Dean chuckled. "No, you love me. Now scram!"

 

"Yeah I do, so scootch your booty over and let me be with you!" Seth laughed and then it started. The squeals.

 

"You what? Seth you what?" Ash yelled.

 

"Oh my God!" Seth laughed. "Just let me stay, Dean. They're coming!"

 

"If you love me, you'll leave me!" Dean said.

 

"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Seth whined. "I'll go hide the cookies and never tell you where they are."

 

Kofi gasped. "Damn Seth, that's cold."

 

"I'll make you get on your knees and beg." Seth said and Randy sounded like he was dying. He could hear someone getting closer.

 

"I bet you'd like that." Dean said and Seth grinned.

 

"I'd love it."

 

"Haha! Jesus, go get married you two. I can't take it anymore." Roman laughed.

 

"Okay, Seth. Get up here, quick!" Dean finally moved his flower vase over from the shelf on the wall and Seth jumped and landed next to him, transforming into a book.

 

"We are flawless." Seth said and he heard Dean giggle.

 

"Flawless lesbians!"

 

"Roman, will you be my best man at the wedding?" Seth said as his character ran past the two of them sitting against the wall.

 

"Hell yes I will!" Roman turned around, "Twenty seconds guys! Noob tubing time!"

 

"Oh shit." Dean muttered.

 

"Shush, Ambrose, look at me. Look into my eyes!"

 

"You don't have any!"

 

"I think I see them!" Randy yelled but he wasn't even close. Seth held his breath as Randy ran by followed by Roman.

 

"Operation Bigfoot Yeti booty call?" Seth asked.

 

"No! No, no, no! You said this spot was amazing, don't fucking blow it at the last second, Seth!" Dean pleaded.

 

"Alright, alright. Next round." He laughed and they counted down until they won the round. Seth kept his word and didn't give up their spot, but they made it a new thing of theirs. 

They'd pair up and try to find the best spots on every map. It pissed the others off when they got really good at it. Two hours went by and Seth had enough footage for a good montage of him and Dean to last an entire video. 

 

They played late into the night with Bayley on GTA until he got what footage he wanted and then they said goodnight. Seth kicked his ceiling fan on and hit his bed.

 

"Are you gonna eat me in my sleep again?" Dean asked as he flopped down beside him. Seth grinned and rolled over, throwing an arm over Dean's stomach. "Can't make any promises."

 

Dean gave a small warm laugh and slowly fell asleep with Seth's weight against him. He woke in the middle of the night to Seth's face buried in the crook of his neck and he smiled to himself. 

 

It was so fucking nice, but it hurt knowing he couldn't grab him in the morning and kiss the shit out of him like he wanted to.

 

Dean had tried to listen to Arin and Kofi's advice, just kiss him and see what happens, probably nothing bad. But he couldn't convince himself to make that move. He knew in the end if anyone was to make that leap it would have to be Seth. 

 

If Seth even wanted to at all... 

 

So here he was, lying in the bed with the guy he was desperately in love with, tracing his spine with his fingertip, imagining what could be. Seth flinched and Dean stopped.

 

"Why did you stop?" Seth mumbled. "That thing you're doing, keep doing it."

 

Dean didn't speak, just kept his fingers running in circles down Seth's smooth back. He shivered and mumbled something against his neck, but he didn't understand any of it. He kept going until he couldn't hold his eyes open any longer and Seth's tight grip held him place until the morning light woke him up again.

 

For the next few weeks the temperature started to drop ever so slowly and Dean was milking what he could out of the sun and the pool. He spent every last second in it until it was too cold to bare. 

 

Seth was used to the cold and could still walk around nearly naked, but not Dean. He was wearing basketball pants and a long sleeve shirt as soon as the temperature hit fifty degrees in August. Seth had to practically lay on top if him at night to keep him warm.

 

"You're like a fucking heater." Dean said against his ear. "It's amazing."

 

"Mhm." Seth nodded. "Now go to sleep. Arin and Danny will be here tomorrow then you can go sleep on him."

 

He felt Dean smile. "No. I'd rather not."

 

"Why?" Seth pushed. He wanted to hear Dean say he didn't want to be in anyone else's bed but his. He really wanted to fucking hear it.

 

"Because, his beard. It's terrible. Have you ever experienced massive amounts of facial hair rubbing up against your face?"

 

"Yes you?."

 

"Ugh fine.. It hurts and it's all scratchy."

 

"Like when you haven't shaved for a week and it gets kind of scruffy looking and then you tickle the shit out of me with it?"

 

Dean laughed and nodded against the side of his face. "Yeah, but way worse than that. I'd rather sleep with you anyways."

 

There it was. Seth felt the satisfying tingling warmth that came with those words run all the way down to his toes. He hummed and he knew he was grinning like an idiot in the dark. 

 

He was also glad Dean couldn't see it. Seth really just wanted to turn his head and close the space between them, but he let it stay there instead and let the thought simmer.

 

"Why?" He asked again and he listened to Dean give a cute huff of annoyance.

 

"You know why."

 

"Can I hear it?"

 

He huffed again. "I want to sleep in here with you, because you are my own personal dream catcher and space heater. I cannot last one night without your hot body next to mine. I would freeze and die. Are you happy?"

 

Seth smiled and gave a small laugh. "Very happy. Are you?"

 

Dean sighed and wiggled himself closer, trying to eat up all the heat he could. "Pretty darn."

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The Final Countdown
> 
> Artist: Europe

"So, where are they gonna sleep?" Seth asked he was riding shotgun in the Jeep on their way to the airport to pick up Arin and Danny.

"They can sleep in my room." Dean stated casually.

Seth raised a brow at him.

"What?"

"Where does Arin think you're gonna sleep then?" Seth held a hand up in confusion.

"Seth." Dean gave him a look, a really fucking stupid, cute look. " _He knows_. Arin's been a best friend to me long before I met you. I tell him almost everything. And before you freak out, he's cool with it."

Seth opened his mouth but shut it when he couldn't think of anything to say. So, Arin knew they slept together.

Okay..

"Okay." He said and Dean smiled at him. That smile always did wonders.

                         ----------

"Alright boys. Catch me if you can!" Seth said and took off on the ice, spinning, weaving, doing fucking magic as he guided the puck across the rink. Ben was on his tail, reaching, but Seth was better. He put on the brakes and spun to the side, sending Ben face first into the ice. Seth glided around him and made the goal.

"Ohhh!" Arin cupped his mouth and yelled. Dean laughed and watched in amazement as the perfect creature that was Seth practically made a fool out his friends. He retrieved the puck and headed back down to the other end, shooting Dean a smile as he passed.

He dodged Andrew and Brendon who were relentlessly attempting to take him out now instead of taking the puck. Kenny had given up and was standing by him Danny and Arin on the wall.

"Honestly, I don't even know why we play this damn game with him anymore. He knows he's going to kick our asses."

They watched as the three tried to take out the one, failing miserably. A tap on the back of Dean's shoulder startled him. He turned and found Lisa grinning up at him with Casey in tow.

"Hey, lady!" He gave Lisa a warm hug and Casey practically crawled up his leg and onto his hip. "What's my favorite girl been up to?"

"Not much, homie!" She squeaked and they all laughed.

"What have you been feeding her, Lise? She's gotten so big!"

"Oh you know. _Beans_." She shrugged and Dean smiled, at one point in time he would have been really attracted to her. She was beautiful, blonde, funny, delicate. But then there was Seth: hilarious, dark-headed, rock-hard, and too sexy for his own good. And he'd take that over anything.

Once Seth was done kicking ass on the ice, Dean made his way onto the rink once he helped Casey into her shoes. Lisa had gone upstairs and put music on overhead that they all could skate to. Once she came back, Kenny grinned.

"So, Lise."

"Not now, Kenny." She rolled her eyes. "You can go on a date with me, but only after I've got Seth to admit he's gay for his man friend."

"Ha!" Danny laughed. "Good luck with that. We have been trying to do that for months now. All they do is have casual eye sex and skirt around the fact that they want each other."

"Thank God, I though I was the only one who saw it." Kenny laughed.

"Well, Ken, help us then." Lisa grabbed his shoulder. "Go over there and chat it up with Dean. I want to see how jealous Seth gets."

"If I get punched, Lisa..."

She huffed. "Than I'll owe you a kiss, too. Now go!"

They watched Kenny head into the danger zone and pick up Casey's other hand as Dean helped her around the ice.

He looked up and smiled. "Sup, Kenny?"

He shrugged. "Not much. Just trying to win over Lisa by loving on her child."

"This little squirt, how could anyone not love her?" Dean laughed when Casey stuck her tongue out at him. "So, you dig Lisa?"

"Always." He nodded. "Since, like, high school honestly."

"Dang." Dean said, trying to watch his language around Casey.

Kenny laughed. "Yeah, dang indeed." He glanced around and caught Seth's eye as he slid across the ice. He grinned at him and Dean as he passed, but Kenny saw through it. He saw the bristles of Seth's defenses standing up even if they were invisible.

He knew Seth well and Seth was practically screaming _HANDS OFF_ behind that grin. They came around the corner and Lisa gave him a thumbs up. Yes, it was working. He laughed and shook his head.

"What?" Dean's asked. The guy was so fucking oblivious.

"Nothing."

"Up, up!" Casey reached her hands in the air and Kenny took her in his arms. "Go fast!"

"Alright, punk. You asked for it!" He said and she squealed in happiness as Kenny put her on his back, she threw her arms around his neck and held on tight. Dean watched him take off, Casey laughing as he flew around the rink at top speed.

"He's so fucking jealous." Arin chuckled.

Lisa's face was hurting from smiling so hard. "Look how stinking cute! He can't stand it, he's got to go touch him. Ha! I knew it. In love, I tell you."

She and Danny laughed and high-fived.

Dean was grinning as Kenny flew past him with Casey waving. But then someone caught his hand and he was being pulled out on the ice. Seth looked back at him as he kept going. "Come on!"

Seth let him go and they took off side by side. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn't using everything he had to keep pace with Seth. Ben, Brendon, and Andrew were behind them soon and even Arin, Danny and Lisa joined in.

The music was loud and totally eighties, Dean's favorite. He couldn't wipe the smile from his face as they raced around and around endlessly.

"Spin to win?!" Seth called out and he heard everyone chant a "heck yeah!"

"The hell is spin to win?" He asked Seth and he looked over at him with a mischievous smile.

"One person stands in the middle and shouts out SPIN and we all turn around and skate backwards and vise versa. If you crash and burn you're out. Last man standing!" Seth winked and Dean threw his head back and laughed.

"Alright, let's do it!"

Lisa took Casey and stood in the middle and a few suspenseful minutes went by until they heard. "Spin!"

Dean's heart jumped as he flipped himself around and smoothly skated backwards. Seth was a few paces behind him now, so he'd have room to get out of the way if someone fell.

"Spin!"

He turned around and and he saw Danny bite the dust. He rolled out of the way as everyone kept going. "Go on without me brothers!"

Dean gave him a salute and he heard Seth's laughter behind him. It took a few minutes for someone else to fall, but when they finally did Andrew cursed.

"Damn it!" He rolled out of the way as Dean slid past him grinning.

"So who's the reigning champion at this game?" Dean hollered for everyone to hear.

He heard Ben across the ice. "Who do you think?"

Dean chanced a glance back at Seth, who looked up at him smiling again. He held his arms out and Dean appreciated how tight his white shirt was on his arms. "You wanna take me?"

Dean intentionally looked him up and down and said. "I'd love to."

The look on Seth's face was worth it, a gorgeous grin that could melt the ice they were on and more. It melted everything Dean had and lit a fire in it's place.

"Spin!"

And down went Brendon and Kenny. Arin ate dirt two minutes later. Everyone was getting tired, even Seth was starting to sweat. But Dean kept pushing, shedding his jacket and sporting his black Seth Rollins shirt instead. He liked the way Seth looked at him when he wore it, it was personal.

It was down to him, Seth, and Ben. And as fate would have it, gravity pulled down Ben, leaving just Seth behind him. He could hear his skates clipping the ice and he felt a shiver of anticipation run up his spine, the hair stood up on his head.

"Come on Dean, you got this!" The boys encouraged him. "Sudden death! Face to face, back to back!"

"What does that mean?" Dean yelled as he kept making his corner.

"Means one of you need to turn, so when you spin again, you're face to face, then back to back. It gets crazy when you're looking at each other trash talking!" Brendon said.

Dean nodded and bit the bullet, turning on the spot as the beat of the music urged him on. He smiled when he met Seth's stare head on as he skated backwards.

"Come at me, bro." He said and Seth rolled his eyes.

"Spin!"

Now he was facing forward, Seth was skating backwards.

"Spin!"

His heart lurched everytime they got to be face to face. It made him feel something along the lines of being prey. It felt like he was taunting him, just begging him to chase and catch him. Dean blew a kiss his way and Seth pretended to catch it with his hand, then acted like he was going to drop it.

"How rude!"

Seth smiled and put it in his pocket. "I'll save it for later."

Dean smiled and inhaled when they had to spin again. He had to get Seth to go down. He was running out of energy and his heart was out of control.

When they turned again he gave him an evil grin and started to slide his hand up his shirt, taking note of how Seth followed the motion. Dean started to pull his shirt up and over his head and that's when he heard a thud on the ice and an overwhelming symphony of cheers. He pulled his shirt back down and looked back to find Seth lying flat on the ice, hands over his face in defeat.

"Dean, you are the man! Get over here!" He laughed as they slapped him on the back and shoulder.

"Seth, babe, it's okay to lose!" Ben called over his shoulder at the body still lying in the floor.

Dean squeezed his way out from the group and made his way over to Seth and gently pulled his hands away from his face. "I'm sorry."

Seth narrowed his eyes at him and yanked him down, their faces almost touched and Dean could feel his face heating up. Seth grinned. "You cheated."

"No. I was just using my surroundings." Dean smiled and sat back. "It's fine if you want to call it cheating just to cover up the fact that you totally face planted because of my hot body."

"No." Seth laughed as Dean pulled him up. "You won fair and square. I got... distracted."

Dean felt the heat even itself out throughout his body again, the normal tingling in the back of his mind resumed it's usual place as he felt Seth's eyes stay glued to him for the rest of the evening. He kept meeting those brown eyes as they all ate around a hibachi grill downtown and he kept feeling his fingers brushing against his while they walked around the city.

Dean wanted to hold his hand but he only initiated it once a month ago at the airport. All other times it was Seth and these were Seth's friends, people he'd known for the last four years basically. He wasn't sure if Seth would want them to see it or not, or if that was just something he was comfortable doing around strangers.

He gave a heavy frustrated sigh, it wasn't like they were dating, but it had been awhile since he felt those warm fingers laced through his own.

Seth turned and caught his eye, like he could hear his worrying thoughts before his lips curved up into a warm smile and he took his hand in his.

"I don't care." Seth whispered and knocked shoulders with him. "Let them think what they want. If you ever want to hold my hand just do it."

Dean nodded and tried to hide his smile but he couldn't when he felt like this. He craved Seth's affection and attention and wanted it to always be exclusive to no one else but him.

He wanted it all to himself.

Every single day.


	35. Chapter 35

Arin and Danny stayed for an entire week before they had to leave, they both had a job to get back to and the women who miss them.

 

"I hate to go but if I don't she'll have three stray dogs and twelve cats living there by the time I get home." Arin griped and Dean tried not to get emotional when he boarded his plane.

 

"I love you guys. Take care."

 

"We love you, too. Holla when you land."

 

Arin and Danny had been the glue that held him together for years other than Seth and Roman when he didn't think he could take the shit that life kept handing to him. 

 

Dean let his mind linger too long on the past and it had him sick to his stomach. He made them dinner but couldn't eat it and Seth was starting to worry.

 

"Tell me." He said softly as they were wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching Harry Potter.

 

"I just can't stop thinking about how stupid I was all those years ago. Thinking my dad would really come back, or that my sister wasn't really a fucking psycho, or that someone out there besides you Roman Danny and Arin didn't think that I was stupid and weird. Or that Jacob wasn't an asshole, or that the way he made me feel would make up for the way he really was."

 

Seth heard him sniff and then he felt the tears hitting his arm as they dropped.

 

"And I just want to fucking forget it. All of it." Dean choked and Seth pulled him against his chest and let him cry his heart out because there wasn't anything he could do to make it go away or make him forget. 

 

He just held him against him, tight and secure to let him know that he wasn't alone, that he wouldn't leave him like every one he ever loved did.

 

Seth ran his fingers through Dean's hair as he calmed down. "It's okay to want to forget. But you won't. The things you regret never really go away."

 

He heard a quiet whisper. "I know."

 

"Just think about where you are now and how you got to this point and then you'll see that it was all necessary. You wouldn't be who you are if it weren't for your past." Seth said and rubbed circles over Dean's back as the movie played on. "I wouldn't want you any other way."

 

Dean's fingers tightened around him in silent acknowledgement and he was quiet for the rest of the night. The credits rolled and Dean sat up sleepily and Seth wanted to kiss the grumpy look off his face. He wiped at it with hand instead and grinned.

 

"So who was your favorite?" He asked, referring to the movie.

 

Dean shrugged. "The guy who kind of reminds me of someone I know."

 

All Seth could do was grin in response and grab his hand. He pulled him up and into a hug and Dean practically sank against him.

 

"You good?" He mumbled against his hair and Dean nodded. "I'm good. Let's go to bed."

 

"Alright."

 

Seth felt something lingering in his chest for the rest of the night as he held Dean in his arms once they made it to the bed. He brushed his hair out of his face and watched him sleep and he couldn't tell himself it was only attraction anymore. 

 

God, it was so much more that. It was an overwhelming urge to protect him, to hold him, to kiss him, to make him smile, to get lost in those baby blue eyes.

 

Seth traced a finger down his nose and across his lips, down his jawline, up to the black stud in his ear that had caught the light. It flickered slightly as he breathed.

Seth breathed with him, matching his calm slow pace.

 

That lingering something began to make itself permanent, wrapping itself around everything inside of him. It was an overwhelming urge, an overwhelming feeling to just...

 

To just love him.

 

 


	36. Chapter 36

Dean woke to the sound of Seth's laughter and it was quite possibly the prettiest thing to grace his ears. He rolled over to an empty bed and heard it again. He sat up and listened.

 

"That's awesome! I'm happy for you, Jessica. So do you know when you want to have it?"

 

Silence and then.

 

"November? Yeah, November sounds great, even though you'll be covered in snow and half the people on the guest list will get stuck on the way there, but November is good." Seth's voice was laced with sarcasm, but he laughed again and Dean sighed as he sat in the pile of warm blankets that Seth left behind.

 

"Yeah, we'll come down to Mom and Dad's for a few days and we can all stay up and bond and tell extremely embarrassing stories about each other. He'll be scarred for life, but I want you guys to meet him."

 

Dean got up and peeked through the crack in the door and Seth was leaning against the stair railing scratching his head. "Okay, Jess. Tell Zach that I approve and congratulations to the both of you. Yeah. Shut up, I love you, too. Bye."

 

Dean opened the door and leaned against the frame. "Did you just volunteer me to go meet your family?"

 

Seth looked back at him. "I did. My sister just got engaged and wants us all to hang out before the wedding in late November. You cool with that?"

 

Dean grinned. "Yeah, I'm cool with that. Finally get to meet the family honestly."

 

                      --------

 

"Hey, you wanna do a vlog?" Seth asked as they were piled up on the couch watching commercials until The Walking Dead came back on. They could've fast forwarded since it was recordings from spring, but they didn't because it gave them time to run their mouths at each other.

 

"Sure." Dean said and it took Seth by surprise.

 

"Really?" He sat up straighter and looked at him. Dean chewed down his food and shrugged.

 

"Yeah, why not?"

 

"I don't know, I've been wanting to do one. I just didn't think you'd want to do it with me."

 

"Why wouldn't I do it with you?"

 

"Because you don't want people to see your face and how private you are."

 

Dean shook his head. "I don't. But I can edit over my face, or I can wear a mask sometimes."

 

Seth laughed. "That'd actually be pretty awesome. I want to make a different channel for it though."

 

"We can call... TheRealAmbrollins." Dean said and nodded to himself. "Even though that's the name of our ship."

 

"Even better." Seth grinned. "You know I really don't think I'd have as many subscribers if it weren't for you."

 

"So you're just using me?" Dean asked, faking betrayal. He grinned.

 

"Yeah, for your hilarity and classic bad luck. It looks good on me." Seth said and Dean pushed at him.

 

"Motherfucker."

 

"You love me." Seth stuck his tongue out and buried his cold feet under Dean's leg.

 

Dean narrowed his eyes. "You're lucky that's true because your toes are cold as fuck. I can feel them through my pants."

 

Seth smiled and wiggled his toes, Dean slapped him on the leg. "Cut it out, Beavis!"

 

"Shhh! It's back on."

 

"Oh man, if they ever kill off Michonne I'll be fucking done with this show." Dean said.

 

"I'll be done if they kill Carol or Daryl. I ship them so hard." Seth said and shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth.

 

"Hell yes." Dean agreed and they high-fived. "I thought I was the only one."

 

"Where have you been all these years?" Seth asked and Dean shrugged.

 

"Locked up in my room playing video games with losers like you." He looked over and smiled at him.

 

Seth let his lips pull back into another grin, the warmth that had made itself permanent flared up and he just wanted to be closer. As close as he could get. 

 

So when they ran back to the living room when the next set of commercials were over he let Dean get comfortable first. Instead of laying on the other end Seth flopped down, stretched out along the length of the couch and let his head rest on Dean's lap. 

 

He kept getting popcorn dropped on his face, but Dean's fingers running all over him searching for the pieces made it worth it. An hour later as they were watching Criminal Minds, Dean started playing with his hair and it nearly put him to sleep.

 

"Your hair is so soft. Is that a long hair conditioners thing?"

 

"I don't know. Probably." Seth mumbled sleepily. "Keep going."

 

"Keep it going." Dean said in a not so good Seth's cliché raspy voice and Seth laughed. Dean grinned down at him even though he couldn't see his face. 

 

It was little moments like these that meant the most to him. 

 

Moments like these that made his heart hurt all the more. 

 

He let his fingers keep running through Seth's long brunette hair and he eventually went limp with sleep. He switched the tv over from Netflix so he wouldn't get ahead of Seth on the show. He watched old reruns of Grey's Anatomy instead for an hour or two until he couldn't hold his eyes open anymore.

 

When he woke he was stretched along the length of the couch, nearly buried beneath Seth, who was lying slightly lower than him, his head was resting heavy on his chest and his arms made a full circle around him. Dean sighed happily and fell back asleep covered from head to toe with Seth's heat.

 

He could barely remember his dream, but what he did manage to keep was warm and Seth's fingers were brushing his lips and he was whispering something in his ear and all he could do was breathe in his scent. 

 

Letting his lungs fill with the familiar and faint smell of Seth. It was very subtle, like he was far away, even though he was right there.

 

When he woke again, he was cold, but he smelled something delicious. His stomach gave a loud grumble when he heard bacon hitting the frying pan. Dean sat up and stretched as he looked over the back of the couch into the kitchen. 

 

Seth was cooking breakfast tirelessly at the stove. There were plates already set on the island with homemade waffles, steaming scrambled eggs, and hash browns. Dean's mouth watered endlessly and he pulled out his phone when he got off the couch.

 

"I gotta Tweet this. It's beautiful." He said and Seth spun around with the fresh cooked bacon in hand. He gave the stink eye at him as he put the pieces on their plates. Dean snapped the picture and captioned it: My Cooking Wife. 

 

He tagged Seth then he posted it with a sly grin. Seth's phone whistled and he let out a deep pretty laugh before he retweeted it himself. Dean giggled about it the entire time they ate.

 

He winked at him. "Thanks for cooking, darling."

 

"You're welcome, babe."

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

"So." Dean drummed his fingers against his leg as they drove. "You have an older sister, Jessica. A younger brother... Tyler. Your Dad's name is Colby and your Mom's name is Mary?"

 

Seth nodded. "Correct. Can you guess how they came up with my sister's name?"

 

Dean laughed. "Does your Mom go by Maryland?"

 

"No, everyone calls her Mary. Because when we were little anytime Jessica heard Jess she'd come running." Seth looked over at him. "Calm down, stop asking so many questions. They are totally cool, they're not going to interrogate and judge you. You're like me. They know you're like me, so don't worry."

 

Dean nodded and held his hand out. Seth took it without question and threaded their fingers. His nerves were immediately soothed and he sighed with relief.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Don't mention it." Seth grinned and turned his eyes back to the road. It was only an hour drive after they landed out into what Dean would call the country back in Ohio, but this was Iowa. There was nothing like Ohio about it, but the air was fresh and cold, and you couldn't hear or see a car for miles.

 

"So why do they live all the way out here now?"

 

"Well, we used to live close to the city for school purposes. This was just the vacation home my mom always wanted. We used to come up a lot until Jess and I got out of school and moved out." Seth looked out at the passing forest. "It's so pretty out here. I miss it. Anyway, Mom told Dad that if they ever got to the point where they didn't need to work anymore, she wanted to wrap everything up and just live out here. So that's what they did."

 

Dean watched the trees go by and he felt the nostalgia seep in. "I love the woods. Me and my sister, when we were really little, we used to get lost in the woods all day. We'd always find our way back though when we heard Mom whistle. I mean we used to get into to some serious shit back then." Dean laughed. "I miss being a kid. Nothing was scary or real, it was all make believe and whatever we wanted it to be. But then we grew up."

 

Seth looked over at him when he heard the change of tone in Dean's voice. "Don't do that."

 

Dean continued to stare out the window, his breath fogging up the glass. "I'm sorry. I just feel like I was happy for about ten years of my life and then I wasn't for the rest of it."

 

Seth squeezed his hand. "What about now?"

 

Dean swallowed visibly and squeezed back. "Let's just say that I wish I had met you back a long time ago. Before wrestling..."

 

Seth gave him a warm reassuring smile and sighed. "Let's just say that the feeling is mutual."

 

Dean got caught in Seth's brown eyes and all the comfort they offered, the sincerity, the warmth. He got caught for only a split second before he turned them back to the road ahead, but that was all it took to make three small words crawl up Dean's throat.

 

They almost escaped but the beating of his heart and the little voice inside his head stopped them short, leaving them hanging on the tip of his tongue.

 

In all honesty, it scared the shit out of him. It left a small pain in his chest and he just really felt like crying. Because he knew one day he wouldn't be able to hold those words back. He wouldn't be able to stop himself from ruining their friendship and everything they had with that one small phrase. Deep down he knew it would happen.

 

But fucking Christ, he loved Seth like he needed air to breathe.

 

\-------------

 

"Heyyy, Mama." Seth called as they got out of his car. She was stepping off the front porch looking just as beautiful as ever, her short blonde hair that was ever so slowly turning gray blew in the cold wind.

 

"There's my sweet boy. I've missed you." He wrapped her up in a hug and he made her seem so tiny. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and she smiled up at him.

 

"So, this is your friend we've been hearing so much about I assume?" She said and Seth held his hand out to him. Dean stepped closer into the circle of Seth's arm and felt his hand settle on his shoulder.

 

"Yes. Mom, this is Dean." He squeezed Dean's shoulder for support and he watched Dean inhale. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

 

He shook her hand and she smiled even wider. "You can call me Mary. No need for formalities. I'm not that old yet."

 

Seth laughed. "I don't know, Mom. You're getting pretty gray to me."

 

"Oh hush!" She gave him a light slap on the arm, but laughed. "It's nice to finally meet you, Dean."

 

"Seth." His stepdad came up behind them and clapped a firm hand on his shoulder. "Good to see you, son."

 

"Hey, Dad." Seth turned and hugged his father hard. "It's been a while, I'm sorry."

 

"No we understand. We live pretty far out now and you were taking care of your own things." His father smiled knowingly and put his hand out toward Dean. "It's good to finally meet you, Dean. I've heard you've been trying to fatten my son up for the winter."

 

Dean shook his hand and smiled. "Yes, sir. It's kind of hard to live with someone who eats nothing but Trifecta stuff, orange juice, and protein powder."

 

His dad threw his head back and laughed heartily. "I like this guy. Call me, Colby. Jess, Zach, and Tyler are around back starting a fire for tonight. You boys make yourselves at home."

 

Dean gave a shy grin and nodded, keeping his shoulder glued to Seth's.

 

"Yeah, they're pretty cool." He said to Seth as they made their way to the back of his car to get their bags from the trunk.

 

Seth laughed. "I told you."

 

"Are your siblings just as cool or are they a different story?"

 

Seth shrugged. "Ehh, I don't know. They're cool I guess. I like them more now than when I did as a kid. That's usually how siblings work."

 

Dean nodded. "So I've heard."

 

Seth bit his tongue. "I'm sorry."

 

"Why are you apologizing?" Dean gave a small laugh, trying to shrug it off but Seth knew what he would be thinking about for the next hour. "It's not like you knew that I didn't have a normal family or a normal life."

 

Seth sighed through his nose and let his cold fingers grab at Dean's arm. "Hey, once upon a time I didn't know that, but I do now and I want you to have one." He looked around for the words, "I want you to have all of that. A normal family and a normal life. So, my family is your family." Seth pointed at himself. "I'm always your family."

 

Dean was looking at him like he didn't even know who he was. He watched him search his mind for words, almost say something, then lock it back up in his head for another day.

 

"You're doing that thing again." Seth said and Dean slowly smiled and then he couldn't even feel the wind chapping his face or the cold that was starting to seep through his clothes. All he felt was Dean and he wasn't even fucking touching him.

 

"What thing?"

 

"You know. The thing where you look like you're going to say something, but then you don't." Seth said scrunching his brows together. "I don't like it when you do that. I wish you would just say what's on your mind."

 

Dean looked at his feet and then back up at him. "Once upon a time, I wouldn't have told you shit a long time ago. But you're getting really good at coaxing things out of me."

 

Seth breathed, a cloud formed and was swept away with the wind. "So, does that mean you are gonna tell me?"

 

Dean shook he head. "Nope."

 

Seth groaned when Dean smiled again. "Fine. Let's get inside, this wind is getting ridiculous. It should calm down by the time the sun sets."

 

"Whatever you say, boss." Dean gave another grin and his dimples showed and Seth was just about done with his stupid face. He couldn't look at it without feeling warm and everything nice. 

 

All he wanted was to touch it..

 

Kiss it..

 

Devour it...

 

He looked up at the overcast sky and sighed, frustrated.

 

"What's wrong?" Dean asked as he threw his bag over his shoulder.

 

Seth rubbed his eyes and looked back down at him. "Nothing, just a little tired and really fucking hungry."

 

"Well, good thing we brought this." Dean said and pulled another bag from the car that was full of food, enough to cook five big meals.

 

Seth grinned, excited. "My mom is going to love you."

 

Dean raised his brow and shut the trunk. "You think I'm going to cook all this by myself? I don't think so Seth, you are helping me."

 

"What? I can't cook anything except breakfast and sandwiches now." Seth slumped his shoulders dramatically and Dean rolled his eyes.

 

"Seth, if you can do that you can learn to cook anything. I'll show you, just like my mom showed me."

 

"Okay." Seth said happily and Dean looked at him like he was crazy.

 

"You are such a weirdo."

 

Seth pressed his shoulder into his as they walked up to the house, the wood creaking as they took the steps up to the porch. He nudged him a little before he opened the door. "I learned from the best."

 

Dean smirked. "Damn right you did."

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

It was late in the evening, the clock had just hit five and Dean was dragging Seth into the kitchen while his sister laughed hysterically from the living room.

"Why are you whining, Seth? You sounded so excited about it earlier." Dean mused and made Seth lay everything out on the counter in front of them.

"Because, I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

Dean grabbed his side and Seth immediately jumped away laughing, "No! There is a _no tickling_ _rule_ in this house."

"That is a lie. Don't listen to him, Dean." Tyler said as he walked into the kitchen. "That's just _his_ rule."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Seth before he turned to his little brother. "Why is that?"

Tyler held back a smile. "Because there was this one time-"

Seth clapped a hand over his brother's mouth and Tyler gave a muffled laugh before pulling his hand away.

"I thought we agreed to save the embarrassing stories for the fire, Ty." Seth slapped him lightly and Tyler couldn't stop giggling to himself.

"Oh, don't worry, me and Jess have been digging real deep." He tapped his temple. "We remember some pretty good ones. So be prepared."

Seth groaned and rubbed furiously at his face. "Why, why, why?!"

Jessica came into the room and gave Seth a sweet reassuring squeeze from behind. "Because we love you! And Dean is the first guy you've ever brought home to meet your family. Of course we have to embarrass you in front of him."

Dean couldn't stop the smug grin that spread across his face when Seth looked over at him. "Wait.. I'm your first? That's so sweet."

Seth bit back a smile and shrugged his sister off. "Get out, you two. He's trying to teach me some life lessons here."

"Ooh, so touchy." Tyler teased and ran when Seth jumped at him.

"Don't hurt yourself, Seth." Jessica snapped her fingers at him as she walked back into the living room.

"Yeah, yeah." He called after her.

"I like them." Dean beamed.

"So do I, just not when they team up against me. That's the downside of being the middle child. She's the queen and he's the baby. I'm just stuck in between."

Dean leaned against him as he helped him sort through the food on the counter. "Yeah, but they love you. That makes it all worth it, doesn't it?"

Seth looked over into those pretty blue eyes of his. "It does."

It was always worth it, to be able to say he had a family. He had a loving one. One that wasn't torn or scattered, one that was accepting and far from judgmental. It was worth it, telling them about Dean and how fucking great he was and how much it meant to him that they were getting to meet him.

Very, very worth it.

But it made him hurt when he thought of Dean, who didn't have any of that. He didn't have a family anymore, he didn't have hard headed siblings to pester or parents to support him on his decisions.

He didn't have anyone anymore, but Seth was going to be his someone. His family was Dean's family and he had a home now, he had someone to pester.

He had someone that loved him.

He had someone that wasn't going to leave.

"What?" Dean asked while he was showing Seth how to make cornbread, mixing vigorously with a spoon before pouring it into his mother's cast iron skillet to be baked. Seth shook his head and continued to watch him as he taught him how to actually properly cut an onion.

As Seth was cutting up carrots after the onion, he said. "I'm just really glad you are here."

Dean kept slicing vegetables, not looking up at him. But Seth could see him grinning as his long fingers worked the knife.

And who fucking knew that could be such a _turn-on_?

Dean licked his lips. "Pfft you're just glad I'm here so I can cook for you."

"No." He said, taking a serious tone. "It really means a lot to me that you came."

"Why wouldn't I?" Dean finally looked at him. "I'd go anywhere with you."

It was a simple set of words but it kicked Seth in the gut and he knew he was fucked right then and there. He fucking knew what that warmth was wrapped around his heart every time he looked at Dean.

Shit, he fucking knew. But he wouldn't say it. This had never happened before.

Never.

Not with a guy.

Not with a girl.

No one had ever made him feel so fucking attached to one thing.

No one had ever felt like a such a lifeline that he would shrivel up and die without.

Dean had become a necessity in his life.

A constant.

A cornerstone.

He heard words, saw Dean's lips moving, saw him smiling, laughing. His smile was so bright and his eyes were burning fucking holes into his soul and Seth just really wanted to...

"Seth."

He jumped when Dean snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Huh?"

"You haven't heard a word I've said."

Seth gave a light laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. "No, sorry."

"It's okay. It wasn't important. I was just telling you how to make those brownies you love so much. No big deal."

"What?! Come on, that's not even fair! If you make me cook those they'll come out looking like coal and you know it." Seth whined and Dean laughed at his pouting face.

"Stop being so fucking cute." He said quietly. "I'll make them, don't worry."

Seth laughed. "I'm not being cute."

Dean huffed. "Uh, yeah you are. You're being cute and whiny and you're getting what you want. So shut up and let me cook."

"Okay, but I really want you to teach me how to do the brownies. Because if I knew how to do those right, I would cook the shit out of them all the time." Seth said and Dean shook his head, so he stuck his bottom lip out and watched the other man roll his eyes and scoff.

"Fine fatass."

"Hey!" Seth shouted and let the smile he felt split his face and he wrapped Dean up in a tight warm hug. He was so heavy and so not delicate and for some reason that was sexy to Seth.

He'd take the hardness of Dean's body over the soft smooth curves of a woman any day. He squeezed him close and Dean gave a dramatic wheeze.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Mm, nope." Seth inhaled his scent and buried his face in the crook of his warm neck and just stayed. He could stay there for fucking ever if he let him. His grip tightened when Dean stopped struggling and relaxed in his arms. Dean wrapped his arms around him and turned his head into his. Seth felt his nose brush against his hair.

This was by far the most intimate thing they'd done, intentionally at least. They were always touchy feely with each other but this was different. There was more meaning to this hug and Seth knew it, he didn't know if Dean did. But the way Seth felt him exhale and hold him closer gave him hope that he did.

"Thank you for bringing me up here. I've only been here for half a day, but I already feel more at home with your family than I ever did with mine." Dean said quietly and Seth felt an overwhelming happiness take hold of him, he almost wanted to cry.

Instead he let Dean loose and pulled back, missing the feeling of him immediately. He gave him a warm smile and ran his fingers through Dean's hair making it stick up slightly, just the way he liked it.

"I'm glad you like it here. My family pretty much loves you, which says a lot since they're all totally dysfunctional and usually scare strangers away." Seth said.

"I love it here." Dean pressed his fist against Seth's stomach, then let his fingers mindlessly trace the figures on his shirt until they finally rested on his hip. "How long are we staying?"

Seth looked him in the eye. "As long as you want."

Dean bit back a smile. "Am I getting my way?"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Only because you're being cute."

Dean laughed when Seth put a hand on his face and shoved it away. "Now teach me the way of the brownie, my master."

"Well, first you need to braid a piece of your hair into a rat tail and then..."

Seth laughed. "Fuck that."

                           -----------

Jessica was watching them from the living room and was absolutely disgusted with how damn adorable they were being.

"Have they kissed yet?" Tyler asked without looking up from his magazine.

Jessica sighed out of disappointment. "No. But I really thought they were going to at one point."

Tyler finally looked up. "I hope they do and I hope they stay together forever. Because Dean is awesome and whatever he's cooking in there smells like heaven."

"You're such a cow."

Tyler shrugged. "Man's got to eat Jess. Man's gotta eat"


	39. Chapter 39

"Dean, honey. You have to leave these recipes with me, this is so delicious." Mrs. Mary was savoring every bite and Dean was more than pleased with himself.

 

"I'd be happy to, Mary. I'm glad you like it." He gave her a smile before he stood from the table and went back in the kitchen to get more gravy for everyone.

 

As soon as he was gone all eyes were on Seth. He looked up from his plate, food falling from his fork as he glanced around at his family.

 

He sighed. "What now?"

 

His mother grin cheekily. "He's a keeper."

 

Seth sat back in his chair. "Mom, we're not even dating."

 

"Oh? I couldn't tell." She said and Jessica was giggling. He caught Zach suppressing a smile beside her.

 

"Well, you totally should. Even if it's just for the food." Tyler said in between bites of roast. "He's pretty hot, too. That's a bonus."

 

Seth tried to be mad but he couldn't when his family was so awesome. Instead he shrugged and grinned. "Maybe one day."

 

The words left his mouth just as Dean walked back in licking something off of his finger. He placed a fresh bowl of gravy on the table and Seth probably looked stupid just sitting there staring at him as he sat back down across from him. 

 

Dean was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a red plaid flannel over it and he just looked so comfortable and at home. Seth smiled at him when he looked up and caught his eye.

 

If his family wasn't surrounding him at that very moment he would have reached across the table, grabbed Dean by the shirt, and pulled him on top of the sturdy mahogany just to kiss his lips. 

 

But they were at the dinner table and that would be rude and inappropriate and he probably wouldn't do it anyway, but it was a nice thought to think about while they ate.

 

                      ----------

 

Seth sat with his dad by the massive fire they had going in the backyard and he watched the flames flicker high into the night sky as the stars began to show.

 

"He's a good guy, Seth."

 

"I know."

 

"You need to bring him around more often."

 

"I will." He said and looked over at his father who was getting grey around his temples and crows feet when his eyes turn up as he grinned.

 

"You like him?" His dad asked, his tone serious.

 

Seth looked back into the fire and pushed his glasses up. "A lot."

 

"Good." His dad gave him a hard pat on the back and Seth looked back at him in surprise. "Because we like him a lot, too."

 

                           ----------

 

"So, is it true Seth's never brought anyone home before?" Dean asked as he cleaned up the kitchen with Mary and Jessica, because they had refused to let him do it alone.

 

Jessica nodded. "Well, we met Leighla when he was engaged once, I think you know about that? The other two.  Neither of which we got to meet."

 

"Wow." Dean rinsed another plate and scrunched his brow. "He's like such a ladies man though."

 

Mary actually laughed. "I know. He always was the quiet one out of the three of them. Never wanted to meet anyone, never wanted to travel. He really made something out of himself though. I'm proud of him for doing what he loves."

 

Dean grinned and then Jessica was on his other side looking up at him. "So, what about you? You ever bring anyone home to Mom?"

 

Dean gave a small laugh trying not to let the heat show on his face. "Yeah, just two. I was married before but things didn’t go well between her and I."

 

"Awh I'm so sorry. But let me tell you if I had a dollar for every time little miss Jessica brought home someone new I could've retired a long time ago." Mary said and Jessica nearly exploded.

 

"Mother!" She fumed. "It was not that many. Maybe, like, eight."

 

"Eight too many." Mary rolled her eyes. "That was just high school."

 

Dean laughed as they bickered back and forth while they cleaned up and he felt so at home he could die happy. He never thought he'd feel this again. The joy of cooking, eating, sharing good stories, and just having a good time with others.

 

With family.

 

They finished up and went outside to join the others who were already getting warm by the fire.

 

"Have they been harassing you in there?" Seth asked when Dean made a seat beside him on the cushioned bench.

 

"Yeah." Dean shrugged. "No worse than you do, so it's all good."

 

Jessica laughed as she took the kebabs from her fiancé. "We were just letting him in on some of your secrets."

 

"We have a no secrets rule in this family. The fire is when we get everything out and we can all feel stupid and equal and not be judged. So if anyone has anything they want to talk about, feel free." Mary glanced around at everyone while Jessica passed around kebabs with marshmallows impaled on the ends.

 

Zach cleared his throat. "I have a stupid secret. I get a sick sort of satisfaction when I clean things. It's amazing." He laughed at himself.

 

Tyler snorted. "Well thank God for that, because you know Jess doesn't like to clean."

 

Laughs rang out into the night and everything was right in the world. Tyler fetched his guitar and played for them. He was a spitting image of Seth, only five years younger and a lot less built. His hair was long, hanging in his face as he gave his heart to the acoustic music he sang from Ice Nine Kills.

 

Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back. When he opened them the universe was staring back at him and he sighed in relief. He felt like he'd finally found his place in it. A smile crept across his face when his felt fingers wrapping around his own.

 

Yeah. He found his place. That place was wherever Seth was.

 

Seth showed him his old room that was littered with things from when he was a child. "This stuff used to be at our old home. Mom set it all up in here when they moved."

 

Trophies and medals were taking up an entire shelf and Dean ran his fingers over the globe that sat dusty next to them. He shrugged his flannel off and hung it on the back of an old computer chair.

 

"This stuff is cool." Dean pulled down a photo album and leafed through it, finding a really young Seth, his old friend Jimmy, and surprisingly Kenny with wrestling gear on. He grinned and continued to look through Seth's past, completely oblivious to the guy sitting on the bed watching him.

 

Dean slept so fucking good that night. There wasn't a sound to be heard except for Seth's breathing and the howling of the wind as it ran free in the night. 

 

When he woke up shivering, Seth pulled the cover around them tighter and pressed his entire body against him. Dean accepted him eagerly, throwing a leg over him and tucking his head beneath his chin. Seth turned slightly and pulled Dean's leg up higher over his own, then let his hand slide up his thigh until it came to rest just above his hip.

 

And they slept for days it felt like. Every time he tried to wake up and move, Seth would pull him back under and wrap himself around him all over again. Dean couldn't argue with that.

 

Over the next three days he let Seth drag him everywhere. They went on an adventure into the woods behind the house and found his old tree fort that still had rusty knickknacks laying around. Then he took him even further until they came to a stream that led to a small lake with a pier.

 

"I'll bring you back up here when the lake is frozen. It's awesome." Seth said as they watched the ducks make happy ripples in the water as they paddled along. Dean heard a sharp whistle and he felt that stab of dread he used to feel when his mother would whistle for them to get home.

 

"Come on. She must have lunch ready."

 

She did. Hella good toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Dean was in heaven and he really didn't want to leave when Monday came around, but they both had games to play and subscribers to keep happy. Not to mention a vlog to keep up with.

 

"Bye Mrs. Mary, you're totally amazing. I'm so glad I got to meet you." Dean smiled down at her and gave her a warm hug.

 

"Likewise, sweetie. You need to come cook for us again and soon."

 

"Absolutely." He said and turned to Seth's dad who was already pulling him into a hug. Dean laughed and he finally knew what it felt like to be embraced by a father figure.

 

"Don't fatten him up too much, Dean."

 

"I'll try not to. But he's really persuasive when he wants food." Dean cut Seth a look and he was grinning from ear to ear.

 

They shook Zach and Tyler's hand and then were mauled by Jessica who threw herself around them. "I love you guys, please drive safe. We'll do this again soon."

 

Dean watched the trees go by until they were gone and the city lights made themselves visible in the distance once more.

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

Something was different about Seth. Dean watched him for weeks trying to figure it out. Seth was way more touchy feely than he used to be, not that Dean was complaining, but it was just unexpected sometimes.

 

Like when he was editing a video and talking to Arin on Skype at the same time and Seth walked in. He pulled up a chair and helped him until Dean rolled his head, trying to get rid of the crick in his neck. Then Seth reached up and with just one hand turned Jonathan to fucking mush.

 

"Oh my God, Seth." He nearly whimpered as his fingers worked their magic on him. It was unreal and he let his head fall forward. "Fuck, yeah."

 

"Hey! Don't be doing anything dirty while I'm here!" He heard Arin over the call.

 

Seth laughed. "We're not. I promise."

 

He let his hand fall to Dean's hip and then slide beneath his shirt where he dug his fingers into his back, pressing into his tense muscles.

 

Dean groaned and let his head hit the desk. "Fucking Christ."

 

"Good?"

 

Dean let out a sound that definitely meant yes and Seth was fighting back the fire he felt flaring up in his gut.

 

Arin coughed. "I'll just give you guys some privacy. I'll call you later, D."

 

"Yeah." Was all Dean could get out. "Never gonna get this video done."

 

"Want me to leave?"

 

"No! Don't stop, please." Dean laughed and Seth kept going, until he was sure Dean had fallen asleep with his face flat against the wood. Then he was saving his progress for him and dragging him down the hall to his bed.

 

Then there was the fact that Seth kissed his shoulder on a regular basis now and it was driving Dean insane. There was also the fact that he cuddled the shit out of him whenever he had the chance and he touched his face a lot. Even if it was just a small slap on the face or his finger on his chin to get his attention, he did it a lot.

 

And then there was Halloween when they were doing a skit on GTA and Seth got so defensive over him and Dean knew that everyone noticed it, too.

 

"Seth, it's okay. It was just a car, I can get a new one." He said.

 

"Yeah, but they don't know the fucking time you put into that. I do. And they completely fucked it before you could save it." Seth said and the irritation was clear in his voice.

 

"Rollins."

 

"Ambrose."

 

"It's okay. Okay?" He tried to reason with him, but he knew Seth was still mad about it. It ended up working out for the best because the skit turned into everyone slaving over making the King of Halloween a.k.a. Ambrose a new car so he could go scare the children..

 

Seth came into his room and leaned down to press his lips on his shoulder. Dean had to keep himself from shivering every time. "I'm sorry I got so mad earlier."

 

Dean let his head fall back and he looked at him upside down. "I told you it was okay. It's still okay, so stop worrying about it."

 

Seth grinned down at him. "Okay."

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

"Kofi, it's bad."

 

"How bad is bad?"

 

"I can't keep my hands off of him."

 

Kofi groaned. "Seth Freaking Rollins. Just do it. Kiss him or something, anything. I'm begging you."

 

"I can't, damnit! What if he doesn't want it? I am not risking our friendship over my stupid fucking curiosity."

 

Kofi sighed. "You won't know until you try. And for the record, we all think he's in love with you."

 

This time Seth groaned. "It doesn't matter. You need to know and not just think. That is a vital piece of information."

 

"Seth, we can argue about this all day but in the end you're going to have to bite the bullet. Take all the time you need, but just do it."

 

Kofi ended the call, sat his phone down on the counter, and looked at the others in his Skype call in his hotel room. "He is so close to breaking, it's not even funny."

 

Roman rubbed his eyes. "I don't understand what they are waiting for. They are clearly in love with each other." He flailed his hands. "I just want to grab their faces and smash them together and be like, you're welcome now go be happy with each other forever and ever and have really good hot sex."

 

Ash bursted out into laughter. "Oh man. Can we please have a debate on who would top?"

 

"No! Guys, no. Just fucking no." Elias pleaded. "I want them be a thing but I don't want to talk about their sex life if they had one. I'm leaving, good night you fucks."

 

Elias left the call and Ash laughed even harder. "He's such an ass."

 

"He just doesn't want to admit that he didn't thought about it. I have, I'm not going to lie guys." Becky said and held her hand up in surrender. "And I'll start the debate with Seth as top."

 

"Bayley, what's your take?" Becky asked and watched her rub her chin in thought.

 

"Hmm. It's tough. Seth is bigger, he's like a tank. But Dean isn't small either." She sat back in her couch, criss crossing her legs. "I'm going to stay in between and say that they flip flop."

 

"Yes! That's what I was going to say." Ash hit her desk. "They totally take turns. Well not really turns, but whoever's feeling more dominant or submissive in the heat of the moment."

 

Roman laughed and covered his eyes. "I can't believe we're really discussing who would fuck who, but I'm definitely pro Seth on this one."

 

Bayley giggled. "Kofi, what do you think?"

 

Kofi rubbed his lips together. "I could go into extreme detail on why I think Seth would top, but then I could also go into extreme detail on why I think Dean would top, too. I seriously have invested way too much time into their relationship, it's unreal. My future happiness depends on whether or not they finally get together. They are my otp and it needs to be canon. I want it more than cold pizza on a Saturday morning."

 

There was a long silence and everyone gave each other an awkward stare until Ash sat back and crossed her arms. "Well shit, Kofi. That was pretty deep."

 

Kofi laughed. "I know. Can you blame me?"

 

Becky shook her head. "Not at all. You've peaked my curiosity, though. I want to hear you go into extreme detail on the topping dilemma."

 

Ash reached down from her small refrigerator and threw a container on the table. "Welp it's going to be a long night then. Might as well bring out my monster and my oreos."

 

The others laughed and got comfortable. "Bring it on!"

 

"I'll text Randy about it. See if he's awake." Roman said as he grabbed his phone and started typing.

 

                            ----------

 

An hour later, Randy finally joined the call.

 

"Alright, as long as none of this goes public, I'll join the debate. I just woke up from a nap but I'm looking forward. What's up with the fuckers?" Randy said after he had been invited to the call.

 

"No, none of this is going online trust me. Unless they actually get together and tell me and Kofi it's cool to post it." Ash said and everyone gave a laugh. "I'm only recording this for personal reasons."

 

Kofi cleared his throat. "Okay, so the majority vote is Top Seth. Cesaro, Finn, and Paige just left before you got here Randy. Cesaro and Finn voted Seth while Paige thinks that since Dean is older he would be more experienced and would totally own Seth."

 

Randy rested his head on his hand in thought. "I see. Well, we know that Seth is competitive. We also know that Dean is shy and very insecure and Seth likes to take care of him. He's protective."

 

Roman clapped his hands together once and sat back. "Yes, this is going to be good!"

 

Randy continued. "So, I picture Seth being the top because he's buff and grrr stuff like that, he gives off a dominant vibe even though he's kind of quiet most of the time."

 

Kofi sat up straighter and leaned toward his laptop. "But, Dean is more experienced. I'm just going to throw that fact out there. He told me himself that he was bisexual about a year ago. He's dated a guy before he met all of us years ago and I can only assume that it was also physical."

 

"Okay." Bayley spoke up. "So Dean has been with a guy before then... It still goes back to whether or not he's a top or a bottom. And we don't know the guy he was with so we can't deduce whether or not he was older than him, younger, smaller, or bigger. None of that. We have to look at the way Seth and Dean are when they are together."

 

"Well.." Becky held up her hand. "Seeing them together at Pax and MITB and watching them on their vlog, you can clearly see how close they are. They're super touchy feely, but when it comes to who initiates it, it's always Seth. Yeah, Dean will lean all up on him, but it's Seth who throws his arms around him and grabs his hand. So, that's why I'm pro Seth on this. If he initiates the touching then he will lead in bed."

 

Kofi nodded and crossed his arms. "Alright well, I think Dean would possibly top because if he's had sex with a guy before then he knows what he's doing whether he topped or bottomed. And we know that Seth hasn't been with a guy before and I can see him hesitating and Dean taking the lead instead."

 

Roman slapped his desk and everyone jumped, even making Ash choke on her drink. "I've got it!" He threw his hands in the air. "Yes! Okay, so Dean bottoms and Seth tops. But, get this, Dean has the upper hand because he has to walk Seth through it."

 

"Yeahhh!" Becky clapped and everyone gave a laugh. "That's what I like to hear, Reigns."

 

"Oh man." Ash said as she rubbed her face. "And Dean would probably be all smug about it while he's laying there and Seth's all like, what do I do now?"

 

"Too fast? Too slow? Does it hurt?" Bayley giggled. "Am I doing this right?"

 

Kofi nodded. "But then once he gets it right, that's all she wrote."

 

Randy shrugged. "Yep, they would have really hot sex. I can see Seth wanting to try it out the other way around though. At least once."

 

"Yeah and then he'd really like it and I think I just turned pro Dean." Roman laughed. "But either way, I support it and I love them. Bless their future children."

 

"Either way I'm honestly all for it." Randy agreed and everyone gave a collective nod.

 

"So, you guys up for some wrestling or something? I think Seth wanted to make a video." Kofi asked.

 

"Yeah, we'll play." Roman said and then laughed. "I'll be thinking about them having sex the entire time, but yeah, let's play."

 

"Man I'll pay big money for you to have a damn threesome with them!" Randy stated. Roman started coughing on his drink he had and everyone couldn't stop laughing in which Becky fell off her bed and Ash was wheezing while Randy and Roman kept arguing about it.

 

Kofi couldn't help but admit this was one of the best nights he ever had.

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

"Seth, cut it the fuck out. I'm scared shitless right now and you're not making it any better." Dean tightened his grip on the metal bars of the ski lift and Seth was filming him as he trembled in the seat.

 

"I'm not doing anything." Seth cracked a smile and Dean rolled his eyes. Seth scooted closer to him which made the whole thing rock.

 

"No! Stop moving, Rollins!" He was breathing heavy and Seth was about to laugh. But he went still and so did the lift. Dean relaxed when Seth put an arm around his shoulder.

 

"Dean, you are going to be fine. I've been up this thing a thousand times and in all that time no one has ever fell or had the seat come unhooked." Seth said and stuck his Go Pro in front of Dean's face.

 

Dean flipped it off and Seth finally laughed as they neared the top. "See, we're almost there."

 

"Yes, I can fucking see that shithead."

 

"If you're going to be an ass the whole time, we can just stay on and go right back down if you want."

 

Dean huffed. "Oh, excuse me for being scared of heights, Mr. I've-lived-in-Canada-for-years-that-I'm-used-to-this-shit-so-why-aren't-you-Ambrose?!"

 

Seth laughed at him and he helped Dean back onto solid ground as they reached the top. "Happy now?"

 

"Yes."

 

They waited until the next few seats made it up carrying Lisa, Casey, Kenny, and Ben. Seth watched Dean's attitude improve dramatically as soon as Casey set foot on the platform and ran to him. He swept her up in his arms and she giggled relentlessly as he tickled her.

 

Seth didn't take his eyes away from that smile until Lisa poked him in the side. "Come on, handsome. Stop gawking, it's obvious."

 

He grinned down at her and motioned for Dean to follow. He led them to the skies and snowboards and grinned when Dean grabbed a snowboard.

 

"What?"

 

Seth bit his lip and grabbed one too. "Race you down, tough guy."

 

Dean finally pinned him with a genuine smile. "Challenge accepted."

 

He knew he could keep up with Seth, he used to skateboard as a kid and when the snow got outrageous in Cincinnati, he'd load up with Percy, Arin, and his lady and hit the hills.

 

Ben grabbed a board and joined them at the launch with a smirk. "I'll smoke both of you bitches."

 

"Ha! Yeah, right." Seth laughed. "I haven't been up here one time where you didn't face plant halfway down."

 

"Well today is the day that I don't. Prepare to be amazed." Ben winked. Kenny was hanging back with Lisa and Casey with skies, taking it slow. Dean took a moment to put his ear buds in and press play on his phone before securing it in his pocket. The tranquil beat started and he felt his mind clear.

 

"One, two, three, go!" Dean yelled quickly and took the other two by surprise. They started down the incline kicking up snow as they weaved around people and trees.

 

Dean looked back as he took on a steady pace watching Seth's tall built body glide along the snow with ease. Dean smiled and took a deep breath holding his arms out wide, letting the wind rush past him in a cold hurry to go nowhere. The music was pouring into his ears like liquid gold and he could feel his heart beating in time with it. 

 

He slid down to a ramp as Ben and Seth went around either side as they watched. He crouched, grabbing the board in one hand as he came off the end. Then he was in the air, his stomach dropping as he managed to spin twice before straightening his body as he landed smoothly and kept going.

 

He was laughing as the adrenaline continued to pump through his veins. Seth was keeping pace with him, his camera was still attached around the beanie on his head. He gave him a thumbs up.

 

Once they reached the bottom Dean unhooked his feet from the board and grabbed Seth's arm. "Come on! Let's do it again!"

 

Seth laughed and let himself be dragged back to the ski lift seven more times before Dean had enough. Ben ate dirt the third time they went up, cursing Seth as he slid bye laughing.

 

Their vlog hit eleven million and Dean made them a t-shirt design that had the two of them on it back to back. There had always been a steady flow of questions and they did their best to answer them in short Q&As.

 

That was when Dean wore a mask while he sat beside Seth in front of the camera and everyone ate it up, including himself. Even though he knew what Dean looked like, the idea of it was still hot. 

 

The weekend after that he took Dean to his parents again where Kenny and Lisa met up with them. Casey was on Dean again as soon as Lisa let her out of the car.

 

Seth had called earlier and asked if the lake had froze over yet, and with the sudden cold front that had swept through he would have been surprised if it hadn't.

 

"Yes, it is. Your dad went down there yesterday. Are you boys going to come see us?" His mom had asked and he could hear the smile in her voice.

 

"Yes, Mom. We'll be there tomorrow."

 

"Good, drive safe. I love you."

 

"Love you, too."

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without you
> 
> Breaking Benjamin

So now he was walking behind Dean who had Casey on his shoulders as they walked down the trail in the woods. His eyes kept drifting to his hips and the way they swayed. Then he was picturing his hands on them, fingers digging into soft flesh, holding him down.

 

"Whatcha thinking about?" Kenny asked with a smirk as he came up beside him. "You have serious focus going on right now."

 

Instead of getting defensive, Seth grinned and said. "You probably don't want to know, to be honest."

 

"You're probably right." Kenny laughed.

 

They walked on in silence, dodging stray limbs hanging from the trees until they came to the clearing. The lake was a blank sheet of white, frozen solid, and waiting for skates to scar it's surface.

 

As per their routine, Dean laced up Casey's skates for her and helped her onto the ice and stayed close behind her when she took of as fast as she could which wasn't too fast since her legs were so short. Kenny caught up with them and started conversation with Dean. Seth felt a small arm loop through his and Lisa looked up at him.

 

"How've you been?" She asked and Seth saw worry etched into her face.

 

"I've been fine." He said and she didn't seemed satisfied with his answer. His eyes drifted back to Dean as he slid along the ice and he felt a terrible strain in his chest. He took a deep breath. "Okay, Lise. I'm not fine."

 

She tightened her arm around his and he continued as they moved slowly across the lake. "I have this terrible ache. But, it's not terrible. Well, it is but it's good at the same time." He shook his head. "It's really confusing and I'm still trying to figure it out, but I know that I like him. A lot. I've just never done this before, never felt this way about anything."

 

"You like him, Seth. I know he's a guy and you've never even been with one before, but from what I've witnessed he has really strong feelings for you, too. You should just try it out and see how it goes. There's no harm in that." Lisa said and Seth gave a small huff of frustration.

 

"No, there's plenty of harm in that. He is my best friend, we live together, and if I try and it doesn't work... There may be no coming back from that. I don't want to lose what we already have, but at the same time I want so much more." He curled his fist in his pocket. "I want him, but I don't want to lose him."

 

"Seth, honey, there is no way he would let you go." She smiled and then she looked out across the ice at her daughter. "Casey! You better come back this way, right now!"

 

Casey had ventured out near the middle of the lake and if Seth knew anything, it was that you didn't go there, the ice was thinner. Dean had his eye on her and Seth wasn't worried about it as she turned around to come back. 

 

But then he felt it more than he heard it. The ice gave a deep groan and he saw it shift slightly beneath her. His heart jumped to his throat and he held Lisa back as she lunged forward, a desperate cry escaped her lips.

 

"Nobody move!" He yelled and he heard his voice echo off into the forest behind them. His heart was drumming against his chest and he watched Kenny and Dean go still beside each other.

 

"Dean, I can reach her. You should start moving back slowly." Kenny said quietly but Dean shook his head.

 

"How much do you weigh?"

 

Kenny shrugged. "Uh, 225."

 

"I'm smaller, I'll get her. You go." Dean said but Kenny couldn't argue, it made sense. He took Dean's skates after he took his time taking them off so his weight would distribute itself better on the ice. Casey was starting to panic and he looked back at Lisa on her knees.

 

"Go, Ken. Calm her down, tell her what she needs to hear." Dean nodded at him. Kenny put a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Be careful, move slow. Lisa isn't the only one who could lose someone out here." Kenny gave him a reassuring squeeze and moved off slowly until he was in the clear. Dean looked back at the three figures in the distance briefly before he turned back to Casey.

 

"Dean!" Her lip was trembling and she was breathing hard as she stood still. He could see the water pooling slowly around her skates. He swallowed and started to move his cold feet.

 

"I'm coming, Casey. Just don't move until I tell you, okay?"

 

She nodded and for a four year old she was holding it together pretty well. "Just hurry."

 

Seth was squeezing Lisa's fingers harder than he should have but she didn't notice. Kenny was by her side talking her through it and Seth was just silently praying that the ice didn't swallow them whole. 

 

Fear kept him glued in place until the ice gave another groan and creaked again. The man on the ice almost lost his balance and the fear crawled up Seth's throat and threw him forward. "Dean!"

 

Seth was trying to move but Kenny's firm hands held him in place. "Hey! You know if you go out there you'll just make the ice crack faster, big guy. He's going to be okay. They both are."

 

Seth felt hot tears stinging at his eyes and he blinked them back and braced himself for the worst when Dean reached for her, their fingertips touched and the ice popped again. Casey gave a small cry.

 

"Shh, Casey it's okay baby girl. Now, when I tell you, I want you to jump. Okay?"

 

She nodded furiously and kept her fingers outstretched. Dean tested the piece of ice he was standing on, it hadn't fully cracked yet and it held his weight, he took a step forward and grabbed her around the wrist.

 

"Jump, Casey!" He said and as she jumped he pulled her up and into his arms. The ice gave way where she was standing and left a gaping hole that led into the deep cold water below.

 

He let out a breath of relief, looking back and catching those dark pair of eyes that washed a layer of warmth over him as he stepped carefully towards them. Casey was clinging to him for dear life and he grinned. "It's okay, Casey."

 

"No, Mama is going to be so mad at me!" She cried into his shoulder. He rubbed his hand across her small back.

 

"No she's not." He laughed. "She's actually gonna be really really happy. Look at her, she can't wait to see you."

 

Casey turned her head and saw Lisa smiling wide. Dean put her down and let her skate the rest of the way to her mother who wrapped her up in a tight hug and cried. "God, you scared me!"

 

"I'm sorry!"

 

"It's okay. I love you."

 

"Are you mad?"

 

"No, baby. I'm not mad, just scared."

 

Dean was watching them with a smile until he was hit by a brick wall. Seth breathed hot air against him as he buried his face against his neck. Dean swallowed hard and his heart gave a dramatic thump as he thought of it being Seth out there on the ice instead of himself. He grabbed Seth's jacket in his fists and tried not to say those words out loud.

 

"I'm fine." He said and Seth nodded against his skin. "I can't feel my feet, but I'm fine."

 

"Say it again, please." Seth said and the strain in his voice made Dean's fingers tighten around him.

 

He took a deep breath. "I'm fine. I'm right here."

 

 


	44. Chapter 44

The pain Seth felt in his chest was unimaginable as he sat in front of the fireplace, prodding the fresh wood, and fanning the flames. He couldn't help but think about what that truly meant. He couldn't be without Dean anymore than his body couldn't be without air. He watched Dean sleep as he was stretched across the couch wrapped in an infinite number of blankets to keep him from catching cold. 

 

And when Seth was trying to wash the dryness from his throat and the worry from his mind with a nice hot cup of hot chocolate, he felt his mother's hand on his shoulder.

 

"What are you doing awake, Mom, it's three in the morning?" He asked quietly, his voice seemed to echo in the dark. She brushed her fingers through his hair and he could feel his emotions start to pool and flood over. 

 

Emotions that had been dying for months to get out, to be set free. Her touch and warm brown eyes had always got the better of him, making him spill his problems out to her his entire life. This moment was no exception and he was already unraveling at the seams.

 

"Mom-" His voice caught and he looked away trying to blink away the tears. But his lip quivered and a sob left his lips. She nodded and let her hands wipe at the tears rolling down his face. "It's okay, Seth. Just let it out."

 

He gasped for air and ducked his head, he couldn't remember the last time he'd cried like this.

 

"Now, what's the matter?" She asked softly and it took him a few minutes before he could even think. He glanced back into the living room at the couch and the warm body that was sleeping on it, then looked back at his mother and took a shaky breath while he wiped at his eyes.

 

"I love him, Mom." He got the words out and he felt the weight come off of his shoulders and he gave a heavy sigh of relief. "I love him."

 

She smiled warmly and squeezed at his arms. "Okay, honey. But why are you crying about it?"

 

"Because I don't know what to do." Seth shrugged.

 

"You don't do anything because there's nothing you can do." She looked him in the eyes. "You can't change the way you feel about it but for starters you can tell him."

 

He huffed. "I can't just go up to him and say, hey Dean you're my best friend and everything and I thought you should know that I'm totally in love with you."

 

"That's exactly what you do, because you keep holding this in and it's going to start hurting you if it hasn't already." She spoke quietly and he was starting to feel anxious. "He either feels the same way or he doesn't and there's only one way to know. There's no way around it, but it's up to you when you want to find out. That's all I can tell you, baby."

 

She gave him one more smile and touched her hand to his face. "Try to get some sleep."

 

He nodded and watched her go, then stood alone leaning against the kitchen counter for a long while just thinking. 

 

Thinking about what would happen if he told Dean how he felt about him.

 

If he told him that he didn't want to go one night without him curled up next to him.

 

Or that he wanted to kiss the freckles on his face every second of every day.

 

He didn't know. 

 

He finally gave up and retreated to the living room, settling down on the floor with his back against the couch. He heard Dean stir behind him and then felt an arm slide over his shoulder and rest on his chest.

 

"Hey." Dean said sleepily.

 

Seth ran his fingers over his hand, "Hey."

 

"Come here." He mumbled and Seth didn't argue with him. He stood and pulled his shirt over his head then unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them off. Dean made as much room for him as he could. Seth crawled under the warm blankets and tangled his legs with his then snaked his arm beneath his head.

 

"You good?" Dean breathed against his skin.

 

"I'm good. Go back to sleep." Seth said and inhaled the rugged scent of pine that always stayed in his hair. A lump had formed in his throat and he tried to swallow it down for an entire hour before he finally dozed off. 

 

He dreamed of nice things. He dreamed of Dean's face and his lips kissing his skin all over, soft sweet pecks that left his body tingling and warm. 

 

And he dreamed of the beach, Dean's fingers laced with his as they walked down the shore as the sun was rising. It was nice and it was perfect and it was everything he wanted.

 

 


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One And Only
> 
> Adele

"Stop fussing with it." Seth slapped Dean's hand away from the tie around his neck.

 

"It feels weird." He griped as they sat around waiting on Jessica and Zach to finish taking pre-wedding pictures. It was a good thing they were indoors because the snow was falling steadily outside the hotel, though it made for good scenery which is what his sister had wanted in the first place.

 

"This is the first time I've worn a tie in years." Dean said and Seth raised a brow.

 

"You never wear one?"

 

Dean gave him a half smile. "It was a clip-on and that was years ago. Ties suck ass."

 

"It looks good on you. Makes you look very professional." Seth winked at him.

 

"Dude, I'm about as far from professional as anyone can get." Dean laughed at himself but Seth kept staring, even as they started to line up and walk Jessica's bridesmaids down the aisle. His suit jacket was cut very close and it fit him so fucking good.

 

His broad shoulders pulled at the black fabric and Seth could picture him shrugging out of it and yanking his tie off, but seeing him in a plain white button up was enough alone for Seth. His hair was brushed back, doing it's thing trying not to stand up on his head, his black piercings accented his suit well and the blue of his eyes stood out even more.

 

Jessica had insisted on having Dean as one of Zach's groomsmen, since he only had his brother along with Seth and Tyler. Dean had agreed to it immediately. He had gotten along with Zach since the first time they met at Seth's parents, hitting it off over WWE and cornbread. It also evened out the number for her bridesmaids so no one had to walk alone.

 

Seth felt the happiness swell inside of him when he turned and watched his dad walk Jessica down the aisle. He thought he was going to cry at one point, but he felt fingers come to rest at the small of his back and a calmness washed over him. It was astounding what one simple touch could do.

 

He grinned to himself as he watched them have their first dance, Jessica's smile lit up the room and Zach didn't look like he was going to pass out anymore. 

 

He sipped at his drink, a fine beer that he couldn't pronounce correctly to save his life, but it was doing it's job making his cheeks flushed and keeping a grin on his face. He was enjoying people watching with Dean and making fun of hairdos until the bridesmaid he had walked with came up to him and insisted he dance with her. 

 

It was only polite, she had said. Dean suppressed a laugh when Seth rolled his eyes at him after she turned away.

 

"I'll be back brother." Seth said in his best Hulk Hogan voice, which was terrible. He left Dean rolling in his seat.

 

Dean was watching Seth make faces at him behind her back as he led her across the dance floor. He couldn't stop grinning at his pretty face and he knew that he was forever ruined for anyone else. He felt a tap on his shoulder and Lisa had sat down beside him.

 

"Hey, cutie."

 

He smiled. "Hey, beautiful."

 

"I want to play a game with you."

 

"Okay." He said cautiously.

 

"I want you to face me, away from the dance floor, and I'm going to start counting."

 

"And what are you counting exactly?"

 

She grinned mischievously. "Each time Seth looks at you."

 

His mind went blank for a moment before he snapped out of it and said. "That's not much of a game."

 

She shrugged. "It's not, but it'll probably get you excited. I'm already on five, by the way."

 

"Six." She said. He couldn't stop the goose bumps from rising on the back of his neck.

 

"Seven." He closed his eyes and imagined Seth straining to look over his shoulder. But he didn't get his hopes up, he was probably just trying to figure out why Lisa was staring at him and smiling. But still, it was a nice thought.

 

"Eleven." He heard her whisper and then the music changed to something sweet and slow. For a moment he thought he had imagined the fingers on his neck and the breath in his ear, but he opened his eyes to see Lisa smiling at someone behind him.

 

"Come dance with me." Seth said from behind and Dean let out a breath before he stood and shrugged out of his suit jacket. He turned and loosened his tie, undoing a button or two. 

 

Seth smiled and held out his hand which he took and let himself be led out into the crowd that seemed to disappear when Seth pulled him flush against him. His arm wrapped around his waist, his other hand clasped around Dean's fingers.

 

"I've never done this before, Seth." He whispered and Seth chuckled low. He guided his hand up to rest on his shoulder, then he pulled him even closer, if that was even possible, and he let their faces lay against one another.

 

"Just move with me." Seth said smoothly, deeply in his ear and Dean closed his eyes, letting his body follow Seth's as he swayed and stepped to the rhythm.

 

His hand was so firm on his back and his cool breath was running down his neck.

 

"You're pretty good at this." Seth said and Dean smiled.

 

"Only because I'm following your lead. Like always."

 

He felt Seth grin against his face and then he dropped his head and felt lips barely graze his neck. Dean's fingers tighten on Seth's shoulder and he cursed himself for feeling weak in the knees at a simple touch but he had a warm tingle running down his spine now and Seth's lips were fresh on his mind. 

 

He breathed in everything that was Seth and let his head fall to his shoulder. They moved as one for what felt like an eternity and Dean didn't want to let go of the body that was holding him so close, and tight, and perfect. But the song was ending and he prayed for another slow one.

 

The music faded and Seth pulled back, far enough to see Dean's face and his heart was thrumming in his ears. He could see himself in his blue eyes, staring like an idiot at his red lips and he really just wanted to feel them. 

 

The fuck did they feel like? 

 

And then he was inching his face closer and Dean was just looking at him, his mouth slightly open and Seth had no fucking clue what he was doing, but he couldn't stop now. He tilted his head and felt Dean's hot breath rush out across his mouth right as their lips barely met. 

 

He didn't even have time to close his mouth over his before the music started blaring in their ears. Everyone around them shouted and clapped.

 

Dean jumped, his face covered in a furious blush as he moved away from him. Seth let out a breath and shut his eyes.

 

Fuck the motherfucking music and all the motherfucking people jumping around them. 

 

Had they always been there? 

 

Fuck if he knew, it didn't matter because now Dean wasn't touching him anymore. 

 

God, he was so stupid. He tried to kiss him and now Dean was pushing through the crowd moving as fast as he could to get away from him.

 

"Dean." He muttered and followed behind him until they broke through the overwhelming loud crowd. Dean was grabbing his chest and breathing way too hard. 

 

He was panicking. Seth came up behind him and guided him to a seat, pulling one up in front of him and sitting down. He took his face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together.

 

"Breath. Just breathe." Seth sucked in a lungful of air and Dean mimicked it, placing his hands over Seth's. "Big, deep breaths."

 

He kept at it until Dean slowly calmed back down, catching his breath and letting his heartbeat come back to him. "I'm sorry."

 

Seth gave a small laugh, silently freaking out because now he knew Dean wasn't trying to get away from him. He was trying to get away from the crowd. "Why are you apologizing?"

 

"I don't know." He sighed and squeezed Seth's fingers. "All those people. It's like they weren't even there and then all of a sudden they were. I mean, I know they were there but... I can't fucking explain it. It's stupid."

 

"No, it's not. I didn't see them either." Seth said quietly as the party raged on behind them. He really wanted to say all I saw was you. 

 

But he couldn't convince the words to come out. Dean opened his eyes and Seth couldn't read his face. He was thinking and as fucking always he never said whatever was going through his mind. He just sat back and looked at him with whatever it was just sitting on the tip of his tongue. 

 

He heard Dean's phone go off in his pocket. He pulled it out and thumbed open the message and rubbed his eyes.

 

"It's Arin. Said to call him when I had time. It's important." He said and looked up at Seth who nodded and watched him get up and walk a few paces away putting the phone to his ear.

 

 


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broken
> 
> Seether and Amy Lee

"Hello?"

 

"Hey, Arin. What's up?"

 

"Listen, brother. I don't want to throw anymore crazy shit your way but..."

 

"But, what?"

 

"Dean, it's your dad. He died in a car accident a few days ago." Arin said and then went silent, letting it sink in. Dean ran a hand over his hair and looked up at the ceiling waiting to feel something other than nothing. 

 

But his dad had been dead to him the moment he walked out the door when he was twelve. He didn't feel anything.

 

He sighed heavily. "Okay. I assume I need to come down there and take care of shit?"

 

"Yes, the house is yours and they need to know if you want to keep it, sell it, or sign it over to your sister."

 

"Why the fuck would I sign it over to my sister?"

 

"Because she showed up here yesterday."

 

Dean felt the anger boiling in his gut. "She just showed up? Out of fucking nowhere?"

 

"Yeah, trust me, I didn't want to see her either. But she came to me asking where you were."

 

"Did you tell her?"

 

"No, I told her I would talk to you about it. So, yes, you need to come down here. You can stay with me for as long as you need to."

 

Dean rubbed his eyes hard. 

 

Why the fuck did this have to happen now? 

 

"Alright, I appreciate it. I'll be down there sometime this week. I have to do some thinking."

 

"No problem, I understand. Let me know when you're coming, okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

"I love you, man. This shit will be over before you know it." Arin said and Dean prayed he was right.

 

"Love you, too. I'll call you. Bye."

 

He hung up and just stood there in a daze for minutes, letting his brain catch up. He could feel himself becoming bitter, angry, cold. It was a feeling that he hadn't felt in years because once it had passed he was just... Empty. 

 

Until he started playing games and it slowly brought him back to life. Then there was Seth.

 

"Everything okay?" He felt a hand on his shoulder and he wanted to turn into those arms and stay, but he didn't. He shrugged and shook his head, looking at the floor.

 

"It's um... Something happened." He said and Seth's fingers slid down to his hand where they pulled and led him out into the empty hotel lobby.

 

"Tell me."

 

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath. "I have to go back to Cincinnati. My dad died in a car accident a few days ago and my sister came home. So, since the house was supposed to go to me when my parents died, I can either keep it, sell it, or let my sister have it."

 

"Jesus, Dean." Seth rubbed at his face. "I... Shit. Okay, when do you need to go? Right now? Because I can take you. And I'll go with you. If you want me to. What can I do to help?" He rambled.

 

Dean slapped a hand over Seth's mouth and grinned, though it didn't reach his eyes. "There is nothing you can do. Shit will continue to be thrown at me until I'm buried in it. I just have to deal with it. I don't know how long it will take. But I want you to stay here. I don't want you to be there when it all hits the fan, because when I see my sister it's going to get bad."

 

Seth pulled his hand down and frowned. "You don't have to deal with this alone, you know."

 

"I just don't want you to see."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Seth, please." Dean sighed and Seth's attitude softened and he pulled him into a hug. "Can we just go home? I have a lot to think about before I go."

 

"We'll go as soon as Jessica and Zach leave, which shouldn't be too much longer." Seth said.

 

Dean nodded against his shoulder. "Okay."

 

They waited another twenty minutes until Jessica decided she was ready to leave for their honeymoon. The driver pulled up outside the hotel and everyone waved them goodbye as they drove off into the falling snow.

 

Seth said goodbye to his family and took Dean by the hand, leading him out into the garage where their footsteps echoed around them. Dean had gone silent and Seth didn't want to push him, or rush him, or say anything to upset him. 

 

He could see that he was falling back into his mind, more than likely reliving bad memories and wishing he could forget. Seth couldn't do anything about it. All he could do was squeeze his fingers a little tighter and hope for the best.

 

The ride home was quiet, the Seether CD Dean had in the Jeep played twice as Seth drove them home through the thick blanket of white. When they pulled into the garage and made it into the house Dean went straight up the stairs and into his room where he sat on the edge of his bed and thought. 

 

Seth gave him as much time as he could before he couldn't stand to sit at his computer any longer twiddling his thumbs. He walked down the hall and stuck his head around the door. 

 

Dean was still in his suit pants, laying back on the bed with his knees up, shirt unbuttoned revealing his tattoo and flat stomach. Seth just watched him breath for a while until Dean pulled his arm away from his face and glanced over at him propped against the doorway. 

 

He didn't speak but Seth knew he wasn't okay because Dean was saying it with his eyes.

 

"What can I do? There has to be something." Seth pleaded softly and Dean shook his head.

 

"Stop worrying about it." He sat up and messed with his hair. "I just need to go deal with it. The sooner it's over and done with, the sooner I can start to forget."

 

"Have you decided what you're going to do with the house?" Seth asked and walked over to his closet.

 

"No. I have no idea." Dean shrugged. He looked tired. Seth pulled a box from the bottom of the closet that Dean had never opened. He sat it on the bed beside him.

 

"I uh... I packed these for you after I told you to go get in the truck that day. Feels like forever ago and I never told you about it. I forgot, to be honest. But, I thought you'd want to have it." Seth said and rubbed the back of his neck. 

 

He didn't know what else to say so he turned and walked back down the hall to his room. Seth felt sick as he sat down on his bed. 

 

Moping maybe, 

 

Was he? 

 

He didn't know, he just knew that if Dean decided to keep his parents house it more than likely meant he would stay there in Cincinnati. That was what had him biting his nails and running his fingers through his hair nervously.

 

It was the one thing that Seth dreaded, Dean leaving and never coming back. He sat for a while in the dark as he listened to the sound of shuffling and pages being turned.

 

"Thank you." Dean said quietly and Seth exhaled as his fingers ran down his bare back.

 

"You're welcome." Seth looked up at him and saw that his eyes were a little puffy and his nose was red. Dean smiled and Seth wanted nothing more than just say it.

 

Just say, I love you.

 

He opened his mouth, but Dean put a finger under his chin and shut it.

 

"Don't talk. Thank you for everything you've done for me, everything you've given me. I wouldn't be here, Seth." Dean paused and Seth could feel his heart taking off. "Just... Thank you."

 

And then there was that look again, the one where he had something right there on the tip of his tongue. Dean swallowed the words back down and brushed his fingers over Seth's arm. "Help me get to sleep, because I cannot stop thinking. Please."

 

Seth nodded without saying a word and he crawled back onto the bed and under the covers. Dean let his shirt fall to the floor and he stepped out of his pants. Seth felt his mouth water and he closed his eyes trying to fight down the feeling. 

 

Dean got in beside him and pulled him close, tucking his head beneath his chin. He pulled the covers up over them and let his finger play with the hair at the base of Dean's neck until he finally felt him fall asleep.

 

Seth didn't sleep.

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

What if Dean stayed in Cincinnati?

 

What if Seth never got to feel him wrapped up in his arms again, or the feel of his fingers running through his hair on a Saturday morning? 

 

What if he never got to see Dean's sexy bed head while he cooked them breakfast and looked back at him grinning? 

 

What if he never got to kiss that freckled shoulder again or get lost in the way he walked? 

 

What if he never got to do any of that again all because he couldn't get those three little words to leave his lips?

 

He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped Dean tighter trying not to cry because he felt like he'd been punched in the chest. The sun slowly flooded the room and he didn't know how he'd managed to stare at one spot on the wall for seven hours straight. His eyes were dry and burning and Dean rolled over onto his back still sleeping. 

 

Seth rubbed at his tired face and quietly got out of the bed, letting his feet step silently to his dresser. He found an old bracelet of his that he'd made out of black and gold string. It was thin and worn and it had always been his favorite. 

 

He looked out the window at the snow laying thick on the ground and thought of how nice it would be if a blizzard hit all of a sudden and Dean had to stay here because all flights would be cancelled. 

 

But that wouldn't happen, it didn't happen, and he was so fucking nervous as he sat in the passengers seat of the Jeep as Dean drove to the airport.

 

He'd insisted on driving to keep his mind off of why he was about to get on a plane even though he would be thinking about it the whole flight. But he would take what he could get before then. 

 

Seth swallowed past the lump in his throat as he walked beside him down the terminal to his gate, fingers not wanting to let go of his when they called the flight for boarding.

 

"Are you sure you don't want me to go?" Seth tried one last time as Dean adjusted the bag over his shoulder.

 

"I'm pretty sure. I'm going to be mad, Seth, and I don't want to take it out on you."

 

Seth huffed. "I think I can handle you again. I've done pretty good so far."

 

Dean grinned and pulled him into a hug. "Yeah, you have."

 

Seth squeezed him hard and said against his shoulder. "If anything happens and you need me, just say it and I'll be there."

 

Dean pulled back and touched his hand to Seth's face, giving him a light slap. "I will. Take care of yourself. Don't eat too many brownies."

 

"I won't." Seth said and he couldn't find it within himself to smile because he was trying so hard not to break down in front of his best friend right now. "Text me when you land?"

 

"Yeah." Dean said and touched his forehead to his. A voice rang out over through the airport again, calling his flight. "I got to go, Seth."

 

Seth let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes, now would be the perfect moment. It would be, but it wasn't going to happen.

 

"Okay." He said and pulled back before he pressed his lips to Dean's head. "Goodbye, now go."

 

Dean stepped backwards and before he turned to go he gave Seth the smile that had started it all. 

 

The smile that had stopped his thought process and sent the butterflies into a panic in his gut.

 

He watched him go, trying to memorize the shape of his body as he walked out of sight into the crowd. Seth was left standing there with an aching heart, feeling home sick. 

 

The plane took off and he watched from the inside of Dean's warm Jeep until it was out of sight and he was laying against the steering wheel trying to stop crying.

 

 


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful
> 
> Eminem

Dean's face was raw from wiping the tears away for two straight hours. He was alone, he was tired, and it just kept getting worse the farther away from Seth he got. He kept reaching for a hand that wasn't there, kept turning to look at him but found an empty seat instead. 

 

A headache was settling in and he called for some aspirin before he stuck his headphones on, starting the playlist that Seth made for him from his favorite songs. Especially the song that Seth introduced to even though It wasn't neither one type but they both loved it, even if it was on repeat. 

 

It calmed him down and he watched the clouds from the window but it didn't stop the nagging thoughts running through his head.

 

Once he boarded his connecting flight from Indianapolis, he sent Arin a text saying he'd be landing in an hour or two. Then he'd have to drive another hour to get there. Arin had offered to pick him up at the airport but he kindly refused. He didn't know how long he'd be staying, so he may as well rent his own vehicle. 

 

Cincinnati was cold, just like he left it and he was extremely uncomfortable as he walked his way to the vehicle rental. He didn't want to be here.

 

"Hi." He said to the man behind the desk. "I need a car, anything will do."

 

"Are you Dean?" A woman came from a room behind the desk, she smiled.

 

He raised a brow and looked around making sure she was talking to him and not someone else. "Yes. I am."

 

She came around the counter and held her hand out. "I'm Barbara, the owner. If you come this way I'll get you whatever you need. Free of charge."

 

He started walking with her out into the lot. "May I ask why?"

 

"Well, let's just say that I know a friend of yours and he asked me for a favor. That favor was to help you when you landed. He said you were already having a hard time and wanted you to have absolutely no issues once you got here. Now, you can keep this vehicle as long as you need it. Here is an unlimited card for gas." She handed him a thick piece of plastic and a set of keys, she smiled again. "I hope everything works out for and I hope to see you again soon."

 

"I um.... Thank you, Barbara." He offered her a smile and watched the woman walk away. He got in the car and pulled out his phone, immediately sending Seth a text.

 

Dean- I'm here. I know what you did. Thank you. 

 

He hit send and Seth replied within seconds.

 

Seth- Don't mention it D :)

 

Dean let Arin know he was on his way and he drove in silence the rest of the way, mentally preparing himself for what laid in store for him. But nothing could prepare him for the hurt that he felt when he drove through his home town, passing by his old school, the bookstore, his old house. 

 

Arin was waiting for him in the yard when he got out and wrapped him up in his signature bear hug.

 

"You okay, man?" Arin asked when Dean stepped back. His eyes were baggy already and he looked pale.

 

"No, I'm not. I just want this over with. Where is she?" Dean rubbed at his eyes and follow Arin's line of site to the front door of the house. It opened and there was his sister, who looked completely different. 

 

The last time he saw her, nearly ten years ago, she was thin, grungy, fucking hateful. But looking at her now she looked happy, healthy, normal. Dean wished he could say the same for himself.

 

He took a deep breath and they walked to the door where she gave him a shy smile. "Hey."

 

He tried to say it back but the anger was starting to swell and he held his tongue as he walked past her into the house that he could've went his entire life without ever stepping foot in again.

 

"Jonathan-"

 

He turned around. "Don't Jonathan me. It's Dean.. Arin you should probably leave. I'll call you later and we'll meet up."

 

Arin didn't object just gave a small nod and left, closing the door behind him. Dean looked back down at his sister with fire in his eyes. "Where have you been all this time Alexis?"

 

She sighed, her hazel eyes were watching him calmly and that made him even angrier for some reason. "I've been off living my life like a normal person, Jonat-.. Dean."

 

"Well, that's just fucking amazing. Good for you! Because while you did that I was alone, Alexis!" He took a breath. "You left me! You left Mom! Shit, you didn't even come to her funeral. I needed you and you were just... Gone. I had to deal with a heartbroken mother who didn't know where her daughter went, a heartbroken mother who eventually became so ill that I had to move back in with her to take care of her until her body couldn't take it anymore. I watched her die, Alexis. And you weren't there. But, Dad's dead now and you miraculously show up. Were you just waiting on them both to die so you could come try and convince me to give you the house?"

 

She stood there in shock while he caught his breath. He ran a hand through his hair and his head was already pounding again. "Why did you leave?"

 

"That's a dumb question. You know why." She huffed and crossed her arms. "I wanted out of this house just as much as you did back then."

 

He shook his head and walked into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. There were still magnets stuck to the refrigerator that probably hadn't been moved since he was a kid. "Yeah, well, you made it out. Congratulations. I was stuck here. Where did you go?"

 

"To a friend's. Then she took me down to Georgia where we stayed with her relatives for a while. I met someone, a guy, and he took real good care of me for a while. I got pregnant and he left, so I got me a good job while I still could and saved what I could. It was too late for me to come when I heard Mom had passed away so I just... Didn't. I was scared to face you because I knew you wouldn't understand since what you gone through with Renee back then. Then I found out that Dad was killed and when I got here, you were nowhere to be found."

 

"Well, Dad tried to fucking kill me about a year ago so I left."

 

"Where have you been living?"

 

"Canada. But that's beside the point. You want the house, I know you do. So that you and your child, or children have somewhere to live right? You want to come home?" He asked and watched her grow nervous.

 

"Yes, I want it. And I only have one child, her name is AJ. She'll turn seven next month. We haven't had a real home in years and I just thought that if you weren't living here, then you wouldn't mind letting me have it." She said and Dean could see the hope in her eyes.

 

"I don't understand why you would want to stay here after all the shit we had to live with." He said and she shrugged.

 

"I don't have any other choice. It's this or I go back to my tiny apartment in Georgia and to be honest I want to be here, I want to be home." Alexis walked over to him and reached her fingers out and who was he kidding, he missed her. Her lip trembled and he couldn't stop from pulling her in.

 

"I'm so sorry, Dean. I missed you so much, I used to cry every night knowing that I had left you here." She hugged him tight and he let her cry it out. He was still angry but he couldn't push her away, not when she was the only family he had left.

 

"It's done and over with. He's gone. Mom's gone. And I don't want to be here anymore, so you can have the house. My home isn't here." He said when she pulled back and looked up at him.

 

"Thank you."

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

Seth had paced his house for a week now and Dean still hadn't called him, let alone text him. He had gone through Dean's computer and uploaded videos for him on the vlog and his gaming channel just so people wouldn't freak out and demand blood. 

 

But after that he didn't have anything to keep his mind off of the fact that he hadn't interacted with him in seven days. He was sitting at the bar in the kitchen thrumming his fingers against the counter when he pulled his phone out and dialed Arin.

 

"Hey, Seth. I was wondering how long it would take you to call." Arin tried to be funny but Seth could hear the strain in his voice.

 

"How is he?"

 

Arin sighed. "Not great. He can't sleep. He hardly eats. I guess just being back here has really brought back some bad memories and it's really getting to him. It's making me sick to be honest. I've only ever seen him get this bad one other time."

 

Seth was pacing again. "When was that?"

 

"When Jacob left him again.." Arin said bitterly. "I shouldn't be telling you any of this, but it's something you should know and I know he won't ever tell you. He was like really happy with this guy for the longest time and I thought that was it for him, they'd be together for fucking ever, but no he just leaves. No explanation, no note, no nothing. So Dean, being the shy insecure guy we all know so well, takes it to heart and thinks that it's his fault and ended up hating himself for the longest time. He didn't talk to anyone, he stopped going out, he stopped everything. He got really bad, to the point where he was hurting himself."

 

"What, like he was cutting?" Seth asked in disbelief. "I've never seen a mark on his body."

 

"Yeah, neither did I until the day I showed up at his apartment unannounced and he came out of his bathroom butt-ass naked." Arin gave small laugh. "I should've knocked, but I had a key and he told me come over whenever I felt like it. Anyway, nakedness aside, I saw the scars. He had been cutting himself on his thighs, where his boxers and briefs would always hide them. He was smart, thought no one would ever find out. I talked to him about it and that's when he started to open back up again, he started hanging out with me more, confided in me. He started playing games again and started his channel and things were a lot better from then on out. But I'm worried that he's going to that dark place again and I just don't want him to hurt himself."

 

"I thought he was happy." Seth said quietly, starting to feel sick at the notion that maybe Dean wasn't happy being with him.

 

"He was very happy. With you, Seth. He was happy with you and I never wanted him to have to come back here because it's not good for him." Arin said.

 

"Then I'll come down there." Seth suggested and he could practically hear Arin shake his head.

 

"No, he asked you not to come because he doesn't want you to see him like this. So don't. As much as I would like you to, don't. He's weighed down with a lot of paperwork and legal shit right now, but it's almost done with. Listen, I'll tell him to give you a call alright?" Arin said.

 

"Yeah, okay." Seth said and before Arin could say goodbye Seth threw it in. "Is he keeping the house?"

 

"I'll let him tell you. It's not my place to be throwing around his business. I'll have him call you tonight, Seth."

 

"Alright. See you later."

 

Seth hung up and felt his fingers shaking as he waited and waited for that phone call. He needed to say something to let Dean know that he cared, that he wanted him to come home, that he needed him.

 

For two hours he waited..

 

For two hours he browsed the internet..

 

For two hours he talked to Ash and Kofi about what was going on and how fucking scared he was.

 

"Dude, there's no way he's going to keep the house. He'll come home, Seth." Ash said.

 

Kofi nodded. "Ash is right Seth, don't worry about it. He'll call and everything will be fine."

 

Seth rubbed his face and jumped when his phone rang. "I have to take this. Bye guys, I'll tell you how it goes later."

 

"Bye Seth!"

 

"See ya my dude!"

 

He walked into the hall and answered, feeling better the moment he heard Dean's voice. "Seth."

 

"Hey, how are you?" Seth asked, not how is everything, just how are you because he really needed to fucking know.

 

"I'm fine." He paused. "I can't sleep, Seth."

 

"I can't sleep either. " Seth's heart started to pound and he said without thinking. "I miss you so fucking much."

 

He heard Dean sigh. "I miss you, too. You have no idea."

 

"Listen, Dean. I don't want you to keep the house. I don't want you to stay there, because you are kind of important to me." He took a breath and kept going before he talked himself out of it. "Fuck that, you're very important to me and I just really want you to come home. I feel like I've been pacing this fucking house for days just waiting to hear from you because you're my best friend and I miss you and I really want to see your face so just... Come home."

 

He didn't mean to sound so desperate, but he had worried himself sick thinking that Dean wouldn't come back to him. His fear started to grow the longer Dean was silence on the other end. But he finally heard him laugh. "Seth, why the fuck would I stay here?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"If you're not here, then I don't want to be here either. Don't worry, I'm going to come home. I'm giving the house to my sister and I'm coming back as soon as I can." Dean said and Seth could here the smile in his voice, that alone made him feel better. "Okay?"

 

Seth nodded to himself and gave a sigh of relief. "Okay."

 

 


	50. Chapter 50

It took Dean another four days to get the paperwork dealt with and the house switched over to Alexis's name. 

By then a fucking storm had rolled in and covered everything in a thick blanket of snow. Needless to say Dean was furious because all flights out of the state had been cancelled until further notice. 

 

It was already mid December and Christmas was just around the corner and Seth was about to go stir crazy waiting to hear that Dean could finally leave.

 

He was on Arin's computer, feeling a lot better about everything now that the house issue was settled. He still wasn't talking to his sister, but he understood why she did what she did. 

 

It didn't mean he had to like it. He was playing a scary map with some of the others and it was nice to do something normal again.

 

"So, you guys. Listen up, I have a proposition for you." Bayley said and everyone went silent as they crept through the map. "I have an uncle who has a row of beach houses like right on the water and he's willing to let me use them for New Year's. So what I was thinking, is that you guys could all come down on New Year's Eve, stay for a week or so, have your own beach house, and experience a Californian New Year. It'll be warm, no snow, no rain. Just pure awesomeness. What do you think?"

 

"Yes, a thousand times, yes." Kofi said and everyone laughed.

 

"Hell, yeah. I'm down as long as I can bring Courtney." Randy said.

 

"Totally, bring your woman or your man." Roman hinted and Elias snorted.

 

Dean cleared his throat. "That sounds amazing. I can't wait to leave this fucking state. As soon as this storm let's up I'm gone."

 

Bayley laughed. "Hey, tell Arin he's more than welcome. The more the merrier. There's going to be a huge party going on down the beach, like walking distance from where we'll be staying. The playlist they put up is going to be killer."

 

Seth was grinning. "I can't wait to be down there."

 

"Is this a bring your own beer kind of thing?" Roman asked.

 

"Yeah, when everyone gets here we'll go on a beer run and stock up for the week. I'll bring Cards Against Humanity and Monopoly." Bayley giggled when Ash shouted. 

 

"Hellllll nooooo! Fuck Monopoly!"

 

Seth laughed. "Monopoly turns friends into enemies."

 

                         ----------

 

"Arin, don't forget to bring your Phantom drone thingy with you. You can get some cool footage while we're there." Dean said and Arin went and packed it with his things.

 

"Alright. Let's go before we get snowed in again." Dean got in his rental and let Arin give his woman a kiss goodbye. She was going to her parents for New Year's.

 

"I love you, be careful!" She waved them off and Dean got them to the airport with twenty minutes to spare.

 

"Okay now we wait." Arin said and took a seat. Dean was thumbing through his phone when he heard Arin. "Oh, shit."

 

Dean looked over his shoulder at whatever Arin was looking at and his heart jumped into his throat as he watched Jacob walk towards him.

 

He gripped his phone in his hand and clenched his jaw tight. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

 

 


	51. Chapter 51

"Whoa, whoa, Dean don't!" Arin had jumped up and had his arms around him, holding him back. "If you cause a big scene, we will never make it to California in time for the New Year."

 

Arin was talking in his ear and Dean was trying to fight back the anger, the fucking fire that was taking hold of his body as Jacob got closer. He took in Arin's words and instead of thinking about beating the shit out of Jacob, he thought of Seth and how bad he wanted to get to the other side of the country to see him. 

 

He took a deep breath and nodded, Arin released him and stood by his side as the dark-haired dipshit finally stood before him. His green eyes were shining with amusement.

 

"Hi." Jacob said with the smile that use to make Dean weak at the knees, now making him hot with fury. "Jon, I just wanted to apologize-"

 

"Hell no."

 

"No?"

 

"First of all, it's Dean D-E-A-N. Get it through your skull and second you don't get to apologize, Jacob." Dean was digging his fingernails into his palm to keep himself calm, because one punch and security would be all over them.

 

"I don't want to hear it and I'm sure as fuck won't forgive your ass."

 

Jacob scrunched his brow in confusion. "You don't even want to know why I left?"

 

Dean shook his head and grinned, which shocked the other man. "I don't. I stopped caring a long time ago."

 

"Why aren't you angry? I left you when you needed me." Jacob said and Dean bit his lip trying not to laugh at the fucking idiot.

 

"What? You thought you could show up once you figured out I was back in town and watch me jump into your arms? Because you left me forever ago and I needed you?" Dean let a laugh escape. "You have some fucking nerve, I'll give you that. But just so you know, I never needed you. Not once. I wanted you, Jacob, and I gave you everything. But, I never needed you. I still don't need you."

 

Jacob couldn't get any words to come out of his pretty mouth and Dean picked his bag up throwing it over his shoulder. "Now, if you don't mind, we have a plane to catch."

 

Arin laughed as they walked away and punched him in the arm. "That's my boy."

 

But just as soon as Dean was feeling good about things and was certain that Jacob was permanently in the past, he felt a hand grip his arm and spin him around. 

 

Lips were against his and he saw green, then he saw red and it took Arin and five security guards to pull him off Jacob who was rolling on the ground in pain with a bloody nose and busted mouth.

 

He could hear Arin arguing with security and the police just outside the door and he sat in silence for the rest of the night looking down at the blood on his hands. It was familiar, like when he used to cut the soft flesh of his legs to take his mind off of the ache in his chest.

 

And it was all because of Jacob. 

 

All because he couldn't forget the feel of his hands running over his body or the sting of his teeth sinking into his skin or the way he would swallow down his constant plea for more. 

 

It was all because of Jacob.

 

He didn't understand why he had craved it and missed it so much back then. Jacob was so demanding and touchy and cruel. 

 

Why did he ever think that was good for him? 

 

He shook his head at himself and felt that ache in his chest again, the same one that had stayed for so long and nearly drove him insane until he tried to cut it out.

 

The ache took his words away and he felt himself falling down into that deep dark pit of self-loathing and hatred that he thought he'd never return to, but there he was. 

 

He didn't hear the police tell him he was free to go or that the guy he beat wasn't pressing charges. 

 

He couldn't feel Arin's hands on his face as he tried to snap him out of it.

 

"Come on! Don't do this!" Arin pleaded, his voice sounded muffled, distant. "We're leaving, going to Cali. It's done, man. You won't ever see him again. Dean! Look at me!"

 

He heard him but he didn't feel any sort of relief as he washed the blood from his fingers before they boarded the next flight. Now all he could think about was Seth and how he was just setting himself up for another disaster. 

 

He had almost kissed Seth a month ago and it could have been the end of what they had right then and there, but he'd stopped himself. More like the crowd did before it sent him into a panic. 

 

Either way, he couldn't stop thinking about him. He needed to ween himself off of Seth before he hurt himself anymore than he already had. 

 

Falling in love with him was his first mistake, everything after that was just wishful thinking. 

 

He didn't care if it meant he wouldn't be able to sleep or that his nightmares would return. He just didn't want to deal with the pain in his chest anymore. 

 

The pain of being in love with his best friend...

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

Seth was sitting in the living room of Ash, Roman, and Becky's beach house. Some of the others were bunking together since there were only four houses to choose from. They had refused to bunk with Seth and insisted that he should have the house and Dean to himself. He didn't know why they kept grinning about it, but he didn't argue.

 

Seth had been twiddling his thumbs the entire time they'd been there since they landed, which was going on twelve hours. It was New Year's Eve, Dean and Arin were supposed to be here already but something had happened and they had to catch a later flight. Arin wouldn't tell them why, he just said he'd explain when they got there.

 

"Seth, let's go grab something to eat while we wait. He said they would be here by two in the afternoon." Roman suggested and he couldn't refuse, maybe it would help the time go by since it was only eleven.

 

"Alright." He rubbed his face and Ash put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him.

 

"I'm sure it was nothing bad, probably just a misunderstanding that made them miss their flight." Ash's expression was soft and Seth felt a little better from her words. "Now, let's go round up the rest of the gang and go find some fooders, yeah?"

 

"Yeah." Seth managed a small grin and followed them out into the sand, the warm air blowing from the ocean swept over him, but he still had so much on his mind. He still wasn't at ease, not until he saw those baby blue eyes and pulled that warm body into a hug. 

 

His heart picked up it's pace just thinking about finally getting to see his face after a whole month of nothing but phone calls and listening to him over Skype while they played games. 

 

It was almost how it was before he took him back to Canada, before things got crazy. Now, he couldn't imagine it being like that again, he couldn't picture Dean being nothing more than a voice and a character on the screen anymore.

 

Bayley guided them further into the city to a small hole in the wall restaurant that served the best cheeseburgers Seth had ever tasted and he made himself upset thinking about how much Dean would've agreed with him. 

 

Kofi was watching him as Seth sat leaning against the window, looking out at the street not saying a word. He wasn't even paying attention to the fact that they were talking to him. Randy was about to snap his fingers at him but Ash caught his hand before he did. "Leave him alone. He's not in a good mood and you would be too if you hadn't seen Courtney in a month."

 

Randy's expression softened when he glanced over at his girl and he nodded at Ash. "Sorry Ash."

 

Elias sat back in his seat. "Tonight is going to be the night. I've got a good feeling about it."

 

Roman sipped at his drink. "About what?"

 

Elias motioned toward Seth. "You know."

 

Roman made an oh with his mouth and gave him a thumbs up. "Gotcha."

 

Kofi led his head rest on his hand, feeling sorry for Seth and what he and Dean both had been dealing with. He stuck another fry in his mouth. "I hope you're right about that, Eli."

 

"Yeah, we all hope he's right." Bayley said quietly. "They're making me depressed."

 

They glanced at Seth still sitting there quietly, lost in his thoughts, mindlessly stirring the lemon around in his water. They went quiet when his phone rang and watched him answer.

 

"Hello?" He paused. "Hey, Arin."

 

Ash gave Kofi a look and he started to feel uneasy, like something wasn't right and his hunch was correct when Seth stood suddenly and walked outside. They watched him sit on a bench and run his hand taking the bun out of his hair and running through it.

 

"He hasn't said anything?" They heard and glanced at each other.

 

Ash took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "Shit. Something bad happened. And I already tried to tell him that it was probably nothing."

 

Kofi shook his head at her. "You didn't know, you were just being a friend, trying to calm him down. I would've said the same thing."

 

Ash sighed and looked back at Seth. He was off the phone, but now he was pacing with his hands on the back of his head, eyes shut in frustration. Ash stood up. "I'll go talk to him."

 

Seth was sick to his stomach as he sat back down on the bench. No amount of pacing could make the worry go away or make Dean's plane arrive faster. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and tried to calm himself down.

 

Ash sat down quietly beside him. "What happened, man?"

 

Seth looked over at her, sitting down. "Dean's ex found him at the airport right before they were about to board. Arin said Dean told him off, but the guy kissed him." Seth paused and Ash felt the heat come off of him. "Dean beat the shit out of him and security held them there all night. That's why they didn't get to their connecting flight until early this morning because all that happened before they even got out of Cincinnati."

 

"Is he okay?" Ash tried to ask and Seth looked out at the cars going by.

 

"Arin said he hasn't spoke a word since it happened." Seth sat back and put his bun up. "And I don't know what the fuck that means."

 

"Whatever he's going through, we'll figure it out, alright?"

 

Seth nodded and gave her a small uneasy grin. "Yeah. Thank you."

 

                      ------------

 

Dean's head was in a fog and he was rubbing at the tiny thread bracelet around his wrist. He'd first noticed it when he got on the plane to leave Canada. He remembered the feeling it had given him just knowing that Seth put it on him while he was asleep that night. 

 

It was black and gold, worn, special. He hadn't taken it off the entire month he'd been away.

 

He missed him terribly, so much that it hurt and he could feel Arin staring a hole into the side of his face. But, he really didn't feel like looking back at him or talking or thinking. All he wanted to do was forget everything. 

 

He wanted to forget those green eyes and how they had tore him apart with just one look.

 

He wanted to forget all the pain, all the slices of that fine blade against his skin. 

 

He wanted to forget how good Seth was and how he felt. 

 

He didn't want to love him. 

 

He didn't want to love anyone because if he didn't love anyone then there was no way he could be disappointed or let down or left behind.

 

Sometimes it was better to just run away.

 

 


	53. Chapter 53

Seth was cracking his knuckles relentlessly, pacing while they waited in the crowded airport. There was a steady flow of people and Seth was thinking about how Dean would feel in a crowd like this. 

 

Probably like he was going to panic. 

 

Seth felt like he was going to panic.

 

"Hey." Kofi squeezed his shoulder. "I see them."

 

Seth spun around and stood on the tips of his toes, craning his neck until he saw the blonde tips of Arin's hair and the glint of his sunglasses. And next to him, Seth saw those baby blue eyes that sent the hair on the back of his neck on end and his heart into a violent race.

 

"Finally." He exhaled and took off into the crowd. The others watched with smiles plastered on their faces. But they faded when they saw Dean take a detour and run to the restrooms.

 

Seth raised his hands in question when he reached Arin. "What the hell?"

 

"I don't know, Seth. Just give him some space." Arin shrugged in defeat. "He won't let me in, I don't know what's going through his head anymore."

 

Seth was getting angrier by the second. This was all because of Jacob, the little fuck who had the nerve to come out of nowhere and screw everything up. 

 

Had the nerve to touch Dean.

 

To kiss him. 

 

Seth ran his hands through his hair and pulled.

 

"Okay." He breathed, trying to calm down. "I'll go talk to him."

 

"Seth-"

 

But he was gone before Arin could stop him, running through the crowd, disappearing into the endless flow of people. His feet echoed as they hit the tiled floor of the restroom, it was empty except for one.

 

"Dean."

 

He looked up from where he was standing with his hands on either side of the sink. His face was drained of all color, he was thinner than usual, and his eyes were dark from a lack of sleep. 

 

Seth watched him look past him before he looked back down at the sink. He stepped closer and Dean held up a hand and took a breath before turning around into one of the open stalls and throwing up whatever was left in his empty stomach, which was hardly anything.

 

"Fuck, Dean." Seth stood outside the stall and was about to put a hand on him but he coughed. "Don't touch me."

 

Seth recoiled and tried not to let his feelings get hurt but those were Dean's first words to him since their last phone call two days ago and they cut deep. He watched him flush and rinse his face in the sink.

 

"Just tell me." He said quietly but his voice still echoed off the wall. Dean shrugged out of his jacket and stuffed it in his bag.

 

"Tell you what?" Dean said. His voice was exhausted and he sounded resigned, like he had given up, but Seth couldn't figure out what it was he had given up on. "You already know."

 

"I know. I just want to know that you're okay."

 

"I'm okay."

 

"No you're not."

 

"Seth, I just want to take my mind off of it." Dean rubbed his face, the color starting to show again. "And then I'll be okay."

 

"Alright." Seth nodded and walked over to him before pulling him into a soft hug. "It's just really good to see you."

 

"Yeah, you too." Dean held back the urge to bury his face in his neck and inhale the smell that always drove him mad, the smell of Seth that made him feel like he was home. Instead he hugged him back lightly, keeping his hands on his waist instead of wrapping them around him completely. 

 

He wanted to cry because he knew Seth could feel him holding back. But Seth didn't say anything, he let him go and tried to give him space as they walked out to meet the others and Dean was grateful for that. It made it easier to stay away from him.

 

Arin gave Seth a nod as they joined the others before piling into Bayley and Roman's vehicles. It was a tight squeeze but it made it more interesting as they drove back down to the beach so Arin and Dean could unload their things. Seth showed him to the beach house and watched him silently unpack his things in the bedroom, the only bedroom in the cabin. 

 

He couldn't wait to be tangled in his long limbs with the smell of his hair filling his senses while his body heat seeped into his skin. He swallowed past the want that was pulling at his fingertips, the ones that felt the need to touch the lean muscle that was showing beneath his shirt.

 

"Are you hungry?" Seth asked and Dean shook his head avoiding his eyes.

 

"I can wait until dinner. It's no big deal."

 

But Seth knew he couldn't wait that long and he was right when Dean ducked into a small shop when they were walking the city. He came back out with a chocolate chip muffin the size of his hand and Seth laughed. "I knew you wouldn't last."

 

Dean just shrugged and it hurt. Seth didn't understand why he was closing up again. He jumped ahead of everyone and fell into step beside Arin. "Hey. I think he's trying to shut me out."

 

"I know, I've noticed. I don't why, though. I thought as soon as he saw you he'd be alright. But he's not." He said and looked over at Seth with a worried expression. "Be persistent but subtle with him, don't let him tune you out."

 

"Trust me, I won't. I just don't want him to be upset with me." Seth glanced back at Dean who had his eyes fixed to the ground as he was talking to Bayley. He grinned at something she said and Seth felt the sting of jealousy because that grin wasn't directed at him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and Elias nudged him in the back.

 

"You guys okay?"

 

Seth nodded. "Yeah, he's just still a little shaken up about the airport."

 

"That was crazy, man. At least he kicked the guy's ass." Roman said and Seth nodded, going quiet.

 

Now all he could think about was some other guy, a guy Dean loved at some point, kissing him. 

 

Pressing his lips against the ones he had dreams about.

 

It fucking pissed him off. He fell behind until Dean was by his side again.

 

"How you feeling?" Seth asked him and let his arm brush against his.

 

"I'm alright." Dean nudged him back but didn't try to make anymore physical contact after that. "But, I don't want to talk about it."

 

"You don't have to talk about it. As long as you're alright." Seth said and it was silence from then on out as the warm breeze followed them down the sidewalk.

 

 


	54. Chapter 54

They flagged down a few cabs and headed down to Belmont Park where they spent the next three hours riding roller-coasters and taking embarrassing pictures of each other and uploading them to Twitter and other social media.

 

Seth was feeling a little better considering that Dean had finally lightened up a bit, he was laughing again, smiling as they rode one ride in particular. No one else could handle the twists and turns that it took, but Dean could. 

 

Seth was grinning as he waited in the crowd with his arms crossed when Dean climbed off of the ride for the third time, his hair an absolute mess. And for the third time he watched his smile fade with the adrenaline and Seth's heart sank every time.

 

Seth could feel the tension coming off of him and it was making his hands restless, desperately wanting to hold his fingers as they wandered through the evening crowd in search of funnel cakes.

 

"There!" Bayley pointed and took off toward the vendor who was sporting the delicate powder-covered cakes. The others took off behind her and Seth didn't realize he had slipped his hand into Dean's until he felt the warm fingers sliding away as he ran off after them. 

 

His feet were glued to the ground and he felt like he was losing something. His grip on reality maybe. Dean was pulling away, avoiding him, and he couldn't understand why.

 

What had he done?

 

Time felt slow and he watched Dean go, catching sight of the tiny gold and black bracelet he'd tied on his wrist almost a month ago. He blinked, letting his brain catch up.

 

Dean was still wearing it. He could have taken it off at any time, he could have taken it off two minutes ago. But he didn't, he was still wearing it and that alone was enough to get Seth's legs working again.

 

Arin was taking pictures of Roman trying to cram half of his cake into Ash's face while everyone clutched at their stomachs. Their laughter filled his ears and he took a piece of cake when Becky offered it to him.

 

"You alright?" She asked as they stood apart from everyone else, watching Bayley climb up Dean's back so he could reach Elias's face and slap him.

 

Seth swallowed down the sweetness and shrugged. "Yeah."

 

"You expect me to believe that shit?" Becky smirked. "Come on, man. Spill."

 

Seth opened his mouth to speak but he stopped when the wind blew, whipping his shirt around and he thought of Dean. 

 

Dean loved the wind and the storms that always blew up behind them, the ominous gloom and the promise of rain. Seth looked up at the blue eyes he couldn't seem to catch hold of no matter how hard he tried. But just as Dean stuck a finger in his mouth to lick away the sugary powder, his eyes caught his and Seth felt...

 

He felt like it should be impossible to be so in love with one human being, one person, one pair of eyes so blue they could drown him.

 

"I'm so fucking in love with him."

 

He continued to stare, wondering why Dean was looking at him like he was hurting. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. 

 

Then it was gone and there was a hole in his heart. 

 

A hole only Dean could fill but he was drifting away. 

 

Seth couldn't stop the sinking feeling or the panic flooding his mind.

 

"Seth" Becky said and finally got his attention. "We know."

 

Seth looked at her in confusion. "What?"

 

"We know you're in love with him. You're pretty obvious."

 

He swallowed. "I didn't know I said that out loud."

 

Becky laughed and hit him lightly on the shoulder. "It's alright, man. We all think it's awesome."

 

"What do mean we all?"

 

She laughed even harder. "Oh man, you have no idea. For months now we have been fangirling over you two. I won't go into detail, you'd probably blush. But yeah, we totally dig you guys. You need to get together. Like, right now."

 

Seth was surprised to say the least, but it didn't rival the heartbreak he felt. It didn't do anything to keep his eyes or mind off of Dean. It only made it worse.

 

The rest of the evening was spent eating cotton candy and mindlessly wandering around enjoying the scenery. Seth stayed close to Dean, but he didn't stay too close. He gave him the space that he obviously wanted because he walked ahead of him instead of beside him. Seth watched his back, the jut of his shoulder blades and his hair as the wind whipped it back and forth atop his head. The bracelet dangling delicately on his slim wrist. 

 

His fingers, long strong fingers that he could picture pulling at the button of his jeans, sliding up his stomach while pulling his shirt over his head.

 

Seth rubbed his eyes and shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. Dean's voice snapped him out of it.

 

"I am so sorry!" Dean said apologetically as he helped a girl to her feet. He wasn't paying attention and he had glanced back at Seth for a moment, long enough to steer him into another person who wasn't looking either. She laughed as he pulled her to her feet and helped dust the dirt from her shirt.

 

"It's okay!" She waved it off. "Not the first time I've fallen flat on my face in public."

 

Dean smiled. "Well, I hope this is the last time it happens to you, ever."

 

"Thank you! That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day." She laughed again but her smile faded when a guy she obviously knew walked up to Dean and shoved him hard in the chest.

 

"Hey, why don't you fuck off?!" The guy shoved him again and he heard the girl screaming at him. "Stop that he was just being nice and oh my God, Adam you're such a fucking asshole!" 

 

All Dean could see was his father coming at him with fists, drunk and stumbling, slurring his words as he cursed him. 

 

You faggot! 

 

He shook his head and his vision cleared and then as the guy was coming at him again Seth stepped into view and grabbed the guy by the shirt and damn near lifted him off the ground before shoving him against the nearest wall which happened to be a vendor.

 

The women inside yelped and clutched at their chests as they watched the two men struggle.

 

"How about you fuck off?" Seth seethed and the guy was drunk, he could smell it on his breath. He could hear the others behind him trying to calm everyone down. He couldn't see anything other than the guy in front of him.

 

"He was all over my girl, man!"

 

Seth slammed him against the wall again. "Actually, he was being a gentleman and helping her off the ground, you dick!"

 

"Alright, dude! Calm the fuck down! My fucking mistake." The guy stopped struggling and Seth finally released him looking him in the eye before he said. "Yeah. Your mistake. Don't fucking make it again."

 

He pushed through the others and grabbed Dean by the hand and started walking away, glancing at the girl as they passed. "You should find yourself a new boyfriend, the one you have is a real piece of shit."

 

"I know!" She called after them and waved at Dean but he didn't have time to do anything because Seth was dragging him through the crowd and closer to the exit, closer to a cab. The others were trying to keep up and followed them in their own cabs back to the beach houses.

 

"Guys! What just happened?" Bayley asked as she turned around to look at Arin, Ash, and Kofi in the back seat.

 

"That's the first time I've ever seen Seth angry. Pretty fucking scary if you ask me." Arin remarked.

 

Kofi shook his head. "Seth's been on edge about something all day."

 

"And Dean has been quiet. Like, really fucking quiet." Ash said and looked out the window. "They didn't fight, because we've been playing games together all month. Nothing was wrong. And we all thought Dean would be fine when he landed today. But he wasn't, even after he saw Seth. So all I can come up with is that he's stuck over what happened with is ex. Am I right?"

 

Arin shook his head. "No, he's done with his ex. He made sure of that. But he's done this before a really long time ago, he was really depressed, didn't want to talk to anyone. I bet he's thinking that he's going to make a mistake with Seth and have it end up like how shit was with his ex. So, he's trying to push him away."

 

"That makes no sense." Bayley rubbed her head. "They clearly have feelings for each other, how can Dean not see that? How can he not see that Seth would never do to him what his ex did?"

 

"I don't know what the fuck he's thinking." Arin shrugged. "Maybe he's afraid of losing what they already have. Maybe he thinks Seth doesn't want anything more than that."

 

"They're both idiots if you ask me." Ash said and they all started to snicker at how absurd this entire situation was.

 

 


	55. Chapter 55

Seth was still fuming as they sat in the back seat of the cab together in silence. The sun was going down and Dean was getting really anxious. He just wanted to get out of here, away from Seth before he did something stupid like breaking down and falling into his arms. 

 

Something stupid like telling him the fucking truth. He was tapping his finger against his leg and Seth noticed it, that nervous tick he couldn't get rid of. Dean felt his attitude change and felt his eyes on him, but he looked away out of the window and pulled his fingers in a fist to keep them from moving.

 

"What's wrong?" Seth asked and Dean really loved the fact that he knew when something was wrong just by the way he moved his fingers. 

 

How the fuck was he supposed to break away from a bond that deep?

 

How could he live without it?

 

He licked his dry lips.

 

"I've just never seen you that angry before." He said quietly, watching the cars go by and the sky turn pink.

 

"I'm sorry. That guy was a dick, though." Seth shook his head. "I just saw him touch you and I... I fucking snapped."

 

That alone had Dean wanting to crawl over into his lap and kiss him for everything he was worth. He had protected him, just like the day he came and took him away, he'd protected him from his father and Dean would never be able to thank him enough. 

 

He would never be good enough for Seth, he deserved someone who wasn't so dependent on him, someone that wasn't so fucked up.

 

They got out of the cab as it pulled up and Dean took his shoes off so his toes could sink into the sand as they walked around to the houses. He heard car doors slamming behind them and the rest of the gang came stumbling after them.

 

"You guys let's pile up and play some Cards Against Humanity. Load all your beverages up and head down to my cabin, I'll get the cards ready and pull out some chairs." Bayley beamed and ran past them like an excited child.

 

Randy shook his head and laughed as he pulled Courtney along and went to help her. "Come on, Elias. Let's go help her find some chairs."

 

"Yeah, I'm right behind ya." He trudged along in the sand and gave Seth and Dean a glance, then a grin, before he kept walking. Seth raised a brow at him but kept heading up the stairs behind Dean, grabbing their cases of drinks and heading down to Bayley's. 

 

As soon as they sat down Dean was on his second drink before anyone else could open their first. Arin eyed him across the table, but didn't stop him. If he wanted to get plastered, if it made him feel better then so be it. As long as he wasn't cutting himself.

 

The game was great, putting everyone into fits of laughter, even Dean along with the large amount of alcohol he was consuming. They played the most ridiculous cards and Ash was wheezing for three straight hours until they decided to go jump in the ocean even though it was dark and fucking creepy.

 

"Come on! We've got another hour, until eleven o'clock. Then they'll start the music down the beach and we'll head that way." Bayley called from her room while she put her black swim suit on.

 

Seth pulled Dean along while he giggled to himself, but then it was like he realized Seth was touching him and he got quiet and pulled away again. Seth just let him move away and he clenched his teeth, trying not to just come out and ask why. 

 

They changed and the wind was blowing against their skin as they walked down the short distance to the shore. The water wasn't warm but their bodies got used to it as they waded in.

 

"Oh! Let's play chicken!" Becky yelled and Roman threw his hand in the air. "I call dibs on Ash!"

 

"That's cheating! She's fucking a lot bigger than us." Randy laughed which he got a smack on the back of his head by her.

 

"Suck my left nut bitch!"

 

"Well, someone can get on my shoulders too, ya know." Elias said and Bayley swam over to him.

 

"Yeah! Me and Elias versus Roman and Ash. Come on, get down." Bayley laughed as Elias dropped down into the water and let Bayley climb onto his shoulders. Ash was having a harder time getting on top of Roman. She kept falling and then laughing and that got Roman laughing. It was a mess but it was worth it to watch them battle it out while sitting atop two girls.

 

Seth was shoulder deep in the water, tipsy and his mind drifted to the last time he was drunk in the water with Dean. The dream he had that night that he never could forget. 

 

He couldn't forget the way his skin felt beneath his fingers, his breath ghosting across his face as he ran his teeth along his jaw, or the long expanse of pale neck that he wanted to kiss and taste and bite. 

 

He inhaled the salty air and drifted over to Dean until his fingers touched his favorite spot, the base of his spine, the hollow of his back. He saw the goose bumps form on his skin and he grinned to himself.

 

Lights started to flash just down the beach, pinks and purples and blue as the music started to boom. Seth got closer and the tip of his nose brushed Dean's shoulder and he was about to press his lips against his smooth skin but Dean moved. 

 

Seth let out a breath of frustration as he watched him head to the shore and walk away up to the cabin. He glanced at Arin who gestured for him to follow him.

 

"Something's about to go down." Arin said and it got the group's attention. They watched Seth follow after Dean, the tension was clear in the way he walked and he took the steps one at a time trying to think of what to say once he went inside. 

 

Dean was standing with his back against the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen, he didn't look up when Seth walked in and shut the door with a quiet click.

 

He grabbed the towel from the table by the door and wiped the water dripping down his stomach. "What are you not telling me?" He walked over to him and reached a hand out to touch his face, to reassure him that whatever it was, it was okay.

 

Dean turned away from his hand and Seth felt the frustration crawling up his spine, he clenched his fists and he couldn't stop it this time.

 

"Damn it, Dean. Stop fucking avoiding me."

 

"I'm not avoiding you."

 

"Like hell you're not! You haven't looked me in the eye all day." Seth tried to control his tone but it had been eating at him.

 

He felt his heart hammer when Dean finally looked up at him and met his eyes. He had craved that look for hours, but here it was and he was more scared than satisfied.

 

"I'm sorry." Seth let out a heavy breath and looked down at his feet. "I've just been freaking out a little."

 

Seth pulled at his fingers nervously. "Okay, no. I've been freaking out a lot. All fucking day. You haven't looked at me, you've hardly said a word. You won't even hold my hand."

 

Dean was silent as he let himself lean against the wall, he crossed his arms and was back to looking at everything but Seth.

 

"Dean, talk to me. You know I'll listen. I don't understand why you keep holding things in. I don't want you to because I know you." He gave a frustrated sigh and ran his hands through his hair as he paced back and forth. "I know you and I know how you get when you keep things locked up tight in that head of yours. You start thinking, then you get really quiet, you push me away and I have to fucking coax you out again. I can't fucking stand it when you shut me out, okay? It hurts. I want you to want to talk to me, I want you to tell me what's on your mind because I care and it makes me sick when I don't know what's wrong with you."

 

Dean caught his eye again and sighed through his nose, his jaw was clamped tight. Seth couldn't tell if he was mad or just upset. He couldn't tell anything and it was such a weird feeling.

 

"I told you I couldn't tell you everything, Seth." He said quietly and Seth's chest was about to cave in.

 

"Why not?!"

 

"Why not?" Dean pushed himself from the wall and stepped closer. "Because I'm a grown man who can make his own fucking decisions. If I don't want to tell you something, I won't fucking tell you. If I want to fucking sit by myself all day and drown in my thoughts then I will."

 

Seth tried not to pull his hair out. "Why?! Why the fuck would you do any of that? Why can't you just tell me?!"

 

Dean nearly snapped and Seth bit his tongue when he jumped. He'd never seen him like this.

 

"Because, Seth! I just can't! I can't do any of this anymore!" He gestured around and then at the two of them standing there. He took a deep breath and could feel himself start to shake as his heart jumped to his throat. "I can't keep doing this! I can't keep holding your hand, can't keep fucking sleeping with you, and I can't keep telling myself that it's okay!"

 

Seth was quiet but Dean could see his pulse in his neck, beating just as hard as his. Seth was scared and so was he, but he had reached his breaking point and he just couldn't...

 

"Why?" Seth said and Dean knew the dam was about break, he could feel the tears pooling in his eyes.

 

"Because." He managed to get out before he blinked and let the tears go. Seth was breathing hard and he wanted nothing more than to just let himself be wrapped up in his arms, because that's what Seth always did. 

 

God.

 

He looked back up at him and shook his head. "Because I am so fucking in love with you.... That it hurts. And I can't do this anymore. I shouldn't have went with you that day, because I knew that I was going to like you more than I needed to, but you were so good to me. You're still good to me, you're fucking perfect Seth and I want it. I want all of you and I can't have it, because we're just best friends. Friends that hold hands and sleep in the same bed. I can't do it anymore."

 

Dean wiped at his face and Seth looked like he was searching for air. "Seth, I couldn't tell you because I've been fucking terrified that it would change what we already had. I love the way we are. It already takes everything for me not to wake up and kiss you every morning, or touch you every second of the day. Takes every ounce of energy to keep my fucking eyes off of you half the time. I have never wanted anything so bad in my life and I'm sorry that I just ruined everything. But, I'm not sorry that I love you because you fucking saved me."

 

Dean turned for the door and left, he couldn't look back and see Seth's face. Didn't want to look at him just standing there, blank. 

 

He didn't know what that meant and he was scared to know what was going through Seth's mind. It was something else he just wasn't willing to cope with. He wiped at his face but it didn't stop the steady stream of tears that continued to pour. 

 

He took the stairs and his heart started to slow when his toes sank into the sand. He barely heard someone calling his name as he kept walking.

 

"Dean, where are you going?! What just happened?" Roman yelled but Dean didn't even acknowledge him. He'd heard them yelling. Ash shrugged at him as they stepped up to the door and knocked.

 

"Seth?" Ash called and knocked again. "Seth, come on man. Open up."

 

"It's unlocked, Ash. Just go in." Kofi said and followed her into the beach. Seth was standing still in the archway staring at an empty spot on the wall.

 

"Hey, dude, what the hell just happened?" Ash snapped her fingers in front of Seth's face and he jerked his head toward her. "What?"

 

Ash opened her mouth but the door slamming open cut him short. A furious Arin came storming in with the guys behind him trying to calm him down.

 

"What did you do, Seth?" He asked but Seth couldn't even open his mouth before Arin started again. "What did you do? He looked fucking destroyed coming out of here! Do you have any idea how much that man loves you? Do you have any idea?!"

 

"Arin! Calm down, we don't even know what happened!" Roman yelled at him.

 

Seth just flinched the more they yelled at each other and he couldn't comprehend any of it, all he could hear in his head was I am so fucking in love with you. Their voices were blending together and he was trying, he really was, to hear what they were saying to him. One question stood out.

 

"You love him don't you?" Becky's calm Irish tone resonated throughout the room and everyone went quiet.

 

Seth blinked at her. "Yeah. I do."

 

Kofi sighed dramatically and said. "Finally!"

 

Bayley giggled. "Well, that only took you guys 365 days to realize it."

 

Arin's anger faded. "Then why the hell did he storm off like that?"

 

"Because he didn't give me time to tell him. He just threw his cards out on the table and left." Seth said and shook his head. A smile spread across his face and he laughed. "I am such a fucking idiot."

 

"Trust me, we know." Randy said and opened the front door. "Now get your ass out there and find him."

 

 


	56. Chapter 56

They all rushed out onto the sand behind Seth and stopped when he said. "Shit. How the hell am I supposed to find him in a crowd that big?"

Arin ran off to the house he was staying in and came back with his Phantom drone in hand. He smiled. "I have an idea."

Bayley ran up behind them. "Here take this walkie, Seth. I'll stay with Arin and we'll guide you through the crowd once we get this thing up in the air. Everybody else spread out and head in, see if we can't spot him before midnight."

"Alright, squad. Move out!" Becky shouted and they took off running toward the music and the people moving in time with it in the distance.   
Ten minutes was all they had until midnight and Seth's lungs were burning as he ran down the shore line toward the unknown. He didn't know what would happen if he and Dean moved forward but he was sure as hell going to find out.

The love he had for him fueled his day, fueled his heart and he'd spend the rest of forever with him if meant that Dean felt it too.

"Alright, Seth. We have eyes in the sky and we see you nice and clear." Bayley said over the walkie and Seth looked up, seeing the white drone-like camera high above him in the sky. He waved and Arin made the thing move back and forth. He smiled and said. "Lead the way."

Bayley was texting back and forth with the others as they found vantage points and scoured the crowd for anything or anyone that looked like Dean.

Five minutes passed and nothing was happening. Seth was getting anxious as he stood outside of the crowd waiting for the okay.

Three minutes left and the music was thrumming in his ears, the bass humming in his chest.

"Seth! Go in! We spotted him!" Bayley shouted over the walkie and he held it close to his ear as he pushed into the crowd. "Go straight!"

He squeezed around the sweaty bodies that were giving themselves to the music and complete strangers, letting go. He felt hands brushing against him as he dodged left and right to avoid elbows and stray limbs.

"Go right!" He veered to the right and the fucking crowd parted just enough for him to see the body he knew so well moving with the tranquil beat, his tattoos glinting with salty sweat as he rocked his hips and Seth saw him in slow motion.

It felt like the past year had been nothing but a build up, leading to right here, this moment as he let the walkie fall to the sand. Dean was so fucking beautiful. His lips red from wetting them and his skin flushed with alcohol, his hair a blonde mess on his head and Seth could practically smell him.

Just the though of his scent was intoxicating.

Just the thought of his touch, those fingers splayed out across his chest and his lips.

Yes, those lips that he wanted to himself for as long as he could keep them.

And fuck, he would keep them.

Ten!

Nine!

Eight!

Seven!

He saw blue and he was close enough the reach his fingers out and touch Dean's skin. He felt like fire and his eyes were locked with his.

Why didn't they see this before?

Why did it take so long to realize that this was where they were headed all along?

Seth ran his hand up his chest, along his neck and pulled him closer until he could let his lips trace his jaw line, until he could taste the salt on his skin. Dean was shaking and Seth let his thumb brush his lips before he threaded his fingers in his hair and pulled.

Dean's lips parted as his head tilted back with Seth's grip and he let out a sweet breath that smelled like mango and Seth caught his eye one last time before he devoured and chased the scent to it's source.

Three!

Two!

One!

Happy New Year!"

His lips were...

Everything.

All mixed into one.

They were soft and wet as they pressed against his and he let out a breath that he felt like he'd been holding for months. Dean grabbed his waist and pulled until there wasn't space for air between them.

He tilted his head and Dean felt the flick of a warm tongue and he met it halfway with his own. Seth tasted like strawberries and whatever the fuck else he'd gulped down earlier.

It tasted like fucking sin.

Dean felt a noise crawl up his throat when Seth pulled back and yanked at his hair, pulling his head back further until he was biting at the skin of his throat, sucking at the salt and leaving marks upon his flesh, claiming what was his, what would _always_ be his.

Seth made his way up to his ear and felt fingers digging into his skin when he said. "Dean. I love you and don't ever think otherwise."


	57. Chapter 57

"Wooo! Liftoff, guys! We have liftoff!" Arin yelled and Bayley shouted into her phone, replying the message to Randy and the others.

 

"It's happening, you guys!" Bayley squealed, a smile splitting her face. "Arin! Please tell me you're recording!"

 

"Fuck yeah, I am!"

 

"Yeah!" They high fived. "Happy fucking New Year, man!"

 

A few minutes passed and the gang came running from the crowd at them screaming and laughing.

 

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Roman grabbed Ash and spun her around in a hug and they fell into the sand near Bayley's feet laughing before Elias hoisted her up in the air.

 

"We are the master matchmakers! Bow down before us!" Elias bellowed while Bayley had her arms in the air smiling like an idiot. Becky was clapping Arin on the back and watching their boys on his small screen as they moved together in the crowd. 

 

They watched Seth look up at the Phantom and then Dean before they waved up at them. Arin made the Phantom wiggle and they saw them laugh before they resumed their dancing and kissing.

 

Kofi came up behind them and put an arm around their shoulders. "Well, you guys. Mission, finally accomplished."

 

"I've never been so happy about two guys kissing before." Randy laughed before he pulled Courtney in and kissed her while she giggled.

 

"Roman! You're smothering me!" Ash yelled from beneath the six foot man that was laughing on top of her. He finally stood and helped Ash to her feet brushing the sand off of her.

 

"So what now, guys?" Bayley asked and they all shrugged.

 

"How about we go dance and make complete idiots out of ourselves?" Kofi pursed his lips.

 

"Yeah, why not?" Ash said. They waited until Arin landed his Phantom and took it back inside before they all headed back down towards the lights and music, melding with the crowd, and they danced until they couldn't feel their feet anymore.

 

\----------------

 

Dean's head was buzzing from head to toe with the taste of Seth, his touch, his smell, everything. His lips were soft and pleading as he opened him up, letting his tongue glide against his, licking up every apology he had for being so blind to this.

 

Dean didn't know what he expected when he ran off into the crowd, he expected to panic but he didn't really feel anything. He didn't even feel the bodies pushing against him. 

 

He didn't feel the lack of air 

 

He didn't really feel anything other than the heartbreak he had just subjected himself to. 

 

He had known it would happen, but he didn't think it would be in the middle of an argument with Seth. He didn't know Seth would get so upset at him pushing him away.

 

But now he knew why. 

 

He knew why Seth was so touchy.

 

He knew why he always kissed his shoulder.

 

Why he would touch his face when he thought he was asleep. 

 

He knew now why Seth looked at him the way he did. 

 

And Dean would never be able to comprehend why he couldn't see it as nothing more than friendship. Maybe because he never thought he could have this. 

 

This kiss.

 

These lips.

 

His body pressed against his.

 

He didn't feel much of anything and he didn't want to, so he had let the music move him as it calmed his mind. But when he saw Seth as the crowd parted and counted down, his heartbeat went through the roof, his fingers started to shake.

 

Seth touched him and all he could do was stare into those deep brown eyes and try to remember how his lungs worked as Seth ran his hand up his chest, across his neck, into his messy saltwater hair. 

 

And when his lips touched his at the stroke of midnight he was done and Seth was eating him alive and he never thought he could have this and now it was his. It was all his and he would have given Seth everything if he had known sooner.

 

Fucking Christ. 

 

He was pulling at his hair, lips slipping to his chin, his throat. He was biting, sucking, tearing Dean apart coaxing unfiltered noises from his lips and it was doing nothing to help the tremble in his knees.

 

"Dean. I love you and don't ever think otherwise."

 

Dean smiled and planted his lips firmly against his again and let those words sink in. But then Seth pulled back and took his face in his hands and said it again. "I love you."

 

His voice was low with excitement, arousal, and alcohol. Dean started to laugh. "I love you. I love you so fucking much."

 

Seth pulled him into a tight hug and it felt normal, it felt like it always did but now they didn't have that nagging thought in the back of their minds. The what if because now they knew and it didn't change anything, the only thing that was different was the fact that they could now act on all the things they thought about. The things they yearned for night and day.

 

The music got louder, the beat got harder, and everyone was dancing like there was no tomorrow. Dean was moving against him, his hips sliding against his as he licked at the curve of his neck meeting his shoulder. 

 

Seth grinned and closed his eyes and watched the hues of pink, purple, and blue dance in his vision while he let the music move him, while he let the feel of Dean sliding against him sink in. He would never get enough, but he had all the time in the world to try, because he was never letting the man in front of him go.

 

"You wanna head back?" Seth asked and the suggestion was clear in his voice.

 

Dean grinned. "Why?"

 

Seth pulled him close and said in his ear. "Because there are things I'd really like to do to you and I'd rather be in a bed with you underneath me than standing here in a crowd."

 

Dean felt the heat in his stomach burn even hotter and he let out a rush of breath. "Come on, then."

 

Seth grinned at him as he pulled him through the crowd and out into the open where they raced each other back to the beach house, laughing when they tagged the stair rail at the same time. 

 

Seth ran up the stairs and Dean pinned him against the door, they were breathless but he kissed him anyway, licking at the inside of his mouth until Seth pushed him away with a dangerous smile as he caught his breath. 

 

He turned the knob and stumbled backwards into the house, Dean following close behind, a grin stuck on his face.

 

Seth felt the heat coiling in his stomach and he was sweating as it made his hands shake. Dean was playing with the strings of his swim shorts, grinning while he backed into the bedroom, into the dark. "What exactly was it you wanted to do to me, Seth?"

 

Seth followed him into the room, dim lights were flashing in the window from the beach and it lit up Dean's face every few seconds, illuminating that smile in the dark. 

 

His flash of white teeth, his dimples pulling at his cheeks. Seth let his fingers slide down and slip beneath his loose shorts.

 

"Come here and I'll show you." Seth said deeply and waited until Dean stepped closer, he let his shorts fall to his ankles. He felt Dean's eyes rake over his naked body, but then they were staring into his own. 

 

Seth slipped his fingers around the strings keeping Dean's shorts on. He pulled, his fingertips brushing over the bulge beneath the fabric as he loosened the strings and Dean was holding back the urge to buck against his hand. 

 

His shorts left his hips and Seth's hands were on his bare ass and Dean bit back a small whine as his unrestrained length slid along Seth's toned stomach, his smooth skin agreeing with the tip of his cock. Seth kissed his way up his neck. "But I'll warn you, I've never done this before."

 

Dean grinned. "It's not that much different than a girl."

 

Seth shook his head and pushed him back onto the bed, absorbing the sight of Dean laid out in front of him.

 

His.

 

"It's completely different." He leaned down and kissed the inside of Dean's ankle, slowly working his way up until his nose traced a small trail up his thigh, placing kisses on his now visible scars. 

 

He crawled up onto the bed, like a feline slowly stalking it's prey and Dean swallowed at the sight of his deep brown eyes carving fine lines over his exposed skin. 

 

His licked his way up to his belly button and Dean's muscle twitched. "How is it different?"

 

Seth grinned and looked up at him as he rested on his forearms, lips hovering so close to his throbbing length. "Because it's you, and it's a million times hotter."

 

Dean didn't have time to respond before Seth flicked his tongue out and promptly swallowed him whole, his mouth felt like warm wet fire as it slid down the length of his cock, to the base and he couldn't think, his mind went numb with sight of him between his legs.

 

"Holy fucking Christ." Dean called out shamelessly into the dark and Seth never slowed his pace, just kept sliding those sinful lush lips up and back down until Dean gripped his hair in his hands and pulled him off.

 

Seth grinned slyly. "Problem?"

 

Dean's head fell back and hit the pillow as he gasped for air. "I thought you said you'd never done this before."

 

"I haven't." He gave a laugh and crawled up Dean's body to place wet kisses over his jaw. "You're the first I've ever put in my mouth."

 

Dean slid his fingers up his sides and huffed. "Well, you suck dick like you've been doing it your whole life. You didn't even choke."

 

Seth bit at his ear and Dean dug his nails into him, trying to move his hips, but Seth's weight held him down. He whispered. "I don't have a gag reflex."

 

Dean gave a rich laugh. "Oh my God, how can you be so fucking perfect?"

 

"I'm not."

 

"You're everything." Dean said softly and reached up for Seth's lips. Seth kissed him for all he was worth and Dean's hands were in his hair as their tongues fought.

 

Seth moved against him, giving them both just a little friction, but it was enough to start a wildfire. Dean pulled away and pointed to the side. "On the floor, in my bag. Lube."

 

Seth grinned down at him before he crawled to the side of the bed and reached down for the bag. He dug around for it and pulled out a small bottle of oil. 

 

He looked down at Dean, his skin was flushed and he could see the sheen of sweat on his chest, shining against his tattoo. "You're so fucking hot."

 

"I'm about be fucking done if you don't hurry up and do whatever it is you're gonna do to me." Dean said and he was shivering.

 

Seth slicked his fingers and pulled Dean's knee up before settling between his legs again. He placed a kiss against his shoulder. "Are you cold?"

 

Dean shook his head and inhaled sharply at Seth's cold fingers teasing his hole. "No. I'm just fucking ready."

 

"Ready for what?" Seth hummed, enjoying Dean's body falling apart beneath him, the tight heat as he slipped one finger in. He could only imagine what he was going to feel like wrapped around his dick. He grew impossibly harder at the thought. "Ready for this?"

 

Dean's mouth fell open and he pushed back on Seth's fingers when he slipped another one in, working him open. "Yes." He moaned. "Fuck yes."

 

Seth kept a steady rhythm, spreading his fingers, hoping he was doing it right. He didn't want to hurt him, so he was taking his time, making sure he was going to be ready for him.

 

Dean was rolling his hips against him and Seth was trying to hold off just a bit longer as he slipped in a third finger.

 

He dropped his head and took a breath against the side of Dean's face. "God you are so fucking tight. I'm so close to coming and I haven't even touched myself yet."

 

"How do you think I feel?" Dean said. He was a mess beneath him, wanting so bad to grab himself but Seth swatted his hand away anytime he tried. It pushed him closer to the edge anyway, having Seth hovering over him, fucking him with his obscenely long fingers.

 

"Seth, please."

 

"Yeah?"

 

Dean nodded. "Yeah."

 

Seth adjusted them both to his liking, pushing Dean's knees up and to the side, and lined himself up. "Do want to lay on your stomach?"

 

"No, I want to see you." Dean pulled Seth down and kissed him roughly, breaking the skin on his lip tasting blood. "Want to see you fuck me."

 

Seth was starting to shake and he couldn't hold anything else back. He let out an uneven breath and bared down on him, watching Dean's face scrunched slightly in pain.

 

Dean could feel him hesitate. "Keep going, I'm okay. Just take it slow, it's been a really long time."

 

Seth pushed deeper as he slowly rocked into him, eliciting from Dean the prettiest sounds he'd ever heard. He pushed as far as he could, until he was buried as deep as he could go and he couldn't hardly breathe. Dean was so fucking tight around him, so hot.

 

"This is gonna last five whole seconds." He muttered as he laid himself down on him, nipping at his neck.

 

Dean turned his head and sucked at the lobe of his ear. "It doesn't matter, we have all the time in the world to have slow sex with each other. Right now, I want it hard and fast, so fuck me like you want to already."

 

Seth didn't hesitate. He hooked the crook of his elbow behind Dean's knee and pulled nearly all the way out before slamming back down into him. Dean screamed. 

 

Seth didn't stop, pressing him down into the mattress, jerking his hips faster while Dean mumbled obscenities beneath him as he held in for dear life.

 

"Fucking fuck, Seth!"

 

Seth clamped down on Dean's shoulder with his teeth and the man sounded like he might actually die. "You like that?"

 

"Yes, fucking yes." Dean whined in his ear, drawing blood beneath his nails on Seth's back.

 

Seth arched his back against those fingers, the pain sending unusual jolts of pleasure straight to his groin. He was close, so fucking close. He shifted his hips and hit something that had

Dean arching his back off the bed and digging his heels into Seth's side's.

 

"There, oh my fucking God, right there!" Dean yelled and Seth hit it again. And again until Dean couldn't speak, until he was just trying to breathe.

 

"Come on, Dean. I want you to fucking come for me." Seth growled into his ear before he pushed himself back. He gripped Dean in his hand and stroked him in time to his heavy thrusts and he watched his face as he came undone. 

 

Watched him as he moaned against the tight hand around his length, stroking him through his orgasm, thick wet heat spurting across his stomach.

 

"Shit.. Fuck... Oh my... Fuck... Seth." Dean was becoming less coherent. Seth didn't let up, fucking him until he was sure the bed was going to leave a dent in the wall. 

 

All he could hear was the sound of their breathing and skin slapping mercilessly together until he felt his muscles coil and release, pushing deep cries from his lungs as he buried himself deep inside of Dean until he couldn't feel his legs. Until he felt like he was falling over as his climax rolled through his body like the waves crashing on the shore, curling his toes, making his fingertips tingle. 

 

His movements slowed until he couldn't hold himself up anymore. Dean was watching him with bright sated eyes, biting at his bottom lip.

 

"Holy shit." He said shakily as he carefully pulled out and curled himself around Dean when he fell down beside him.

 

"Yeah." Dean said while he caught his breath.

 

"Come here." Seth said and pulled Dean closer until their noses touched and he searched his blue eyes for any sign of pain or regret but instead he saw his best friend.

 

He saw a man that he'd been in love with long before he realized. 

 

He saw him sitting on a bench in a park in Cincinnati wiping tears from his bruised eyes. 

 

He saw him sitting beside him for hours on end helping him fix his videos, throwing his head back with laughter, fixing him with that look, pinning him with that smile. 

 

He saw him gliding across the ice on unfamiliar skates, reaching for him, falling beside him. 

 

He saw him curled up next to him on the couch, stealing his popcorn, tucking his face into his shoulder at the scary parts. 

 

He saw his body in slow motion beneath the water, the bubbles running up his body in an attempt to find the surface. 

 

He saw his freckled skin as he shook his hips to a song while he licked icing from his fingers. 

 

He saw everything he'd ever wanted and everything he'd ever need staring right back at him.

 

"I love you." Seth whispered and ran his finger over Dean's swollen lips before he kissed them. He'd never get tired of them.

 

"I love you." Dean grinned against his mouth and tangled his legs with his. "I've loved you."

 

Seth brushed Dean's sweaty hair back and touched his forehead to his. "For how long?"

 

"Since the day you first held my hand. Before we got on the plane for California. I knew right then that I was fucked. That was when I finally realized it, it was probably long before then, but that was when I knew."

 

Seth hummed. "I wish you would have told me. I was so confused about you for the longest time."

 

Dean propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at him. "What do you mean confused?"

 

Seth shrugged. "I don't know, ever since day one with you, I felt something new and every day it just kept building and building until I couldn't ignore it anymore. I wanted you, but I didn't know what to do because I'd never been attracted to a guy before."

 

Dean smiled down at him. "You could've just kissed me."

 

"I almost did. Twice."

 

"I know and I thought I was imagining it both times."

 

Seth laughed. "We're so stupid."

 

"Yeah, we are."

 

Dean hummed against Seth's lips when he pulled him down to them. He could still hear music blasting into the night in the distance as Seth's fingers ran over his body.

 

He pulled back, still feeling the slickness on his stomach, he could feel it beginning to run down his leg. "We made a fucking mess."

 

Seth grinned. "So. We'll just make another one later."

 

Dean raised a brow at him. "Is that so, big guy?"

 

"Yes." Seth sat up in the bed. "I'm not letting you sleep tonight."

 

"Good." Dean slid out of the bed, wiping himself off with a towel. "I wasn't planning on it."

 

He ran off and Seth chased him through the house, into the kitchen where he backed him up against the counter and kissed him slowly, sating his hunger for him. The hunger that had been building for twelve months, a hunger he'd always have but now he could satisfy it.

 

Dean caught his face in his hands and pulled back for a breath, pinning Seth with a smile. "I need at least an hour."

 

"Mm." Seth kissed the tip of his nose. "For what?"

 

"Until I can get off again."

 

"Oh." Seth giggled against Dean's neck. "What are we gonna do for a whole hour?"

 

Dean shrugged and gave him a grin and felt the emotions he'd been holding in for the past month finally starting to swell. 

 

His chest felt heavy, like he couldn't breathe and he took a deep breath trying to push it down but it didn't cooperate. Instead it made his eyes water furiously.

 

"Hey." Seth caught his jaw with his fingers and lifted his head. "What's wrong?"

 

"Nothing." Dean managed before his lip quivered and he couldn't hold it in anymore. "I'm just sorry for trying to push you away today. I was stupid to think it would work, that I could stop wanting you. It just made me feel worse, when all I wanted to do was let you wrap me up in one of your hugs and hold my hand and make me forget about everything. Because when I'm with you, nothing else matters. And that whole month I was away from you, it all started to sink back in. My past, my fucked up family. It got to me and I almost talked myself into pushing you away and I'm sorry." Dean wiped at his eyes and exhaled, the weight coming off of his shoulders when Seth smiled. "I missed you so fucking much, Seth. I feel like haven't slept in weeks. You have ruined me inside and out and I love you for it. No one has ever made me feel so wrecked and whole at the same time."

 

Seth let out the breath he was holding, his mouth felt dry all of a sudden. He wrapped Dean up in the hug he'd wanted to keep him in all day.

 

Seth led him into the sun room where he pulled him down onto the deep sofa. The ceiling was plexiglas, clear, and they looked up at the sky. The stars were starting to show as the smoke from the fireworks dissipated. Dean was comfortable in his arms, resting his head against his chest.

 

"I can't explain how much I missed you." Seth spoke quietly in the dim light. He ran his fingers down his arm. "That first week after you left was the worst. I just walked around the house, I couldn't even focus on my games. I didn't sleep hardly, if I did it was for just a few hours. And every time I woke up I kept expecting you to be there beside me. But you weren't and I felt sick any time I thought about how far away you were. I was scared you wouldn't come back. But you did and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you how I felt sooner."

 

Dean grinned against him. "It's okay. I should've told you, too. But that doesn't matter anymore."

 

Seth kissed the top of his head. "Nope. It doesn't. You're stuck with me now."

 

Dean chuckled. "I'm perfectly okay with that. I've been stuck with you for a whole year, I think I can handle you for the rest of my life."

 

"Good. Because I'm never letting you out of my sight again." Seth smiled to himself when Dean curled around him tighter. He pulled a blanket down over them and he didn't mean to get so comfortable but he felt himself drifting off, until he felt the body on him move.

 

"Seth?"

 

"M'here."

 

"Let's go get in the bed."

 

Seth grumbled when Dean got himself off of the couch taking the heat with him. He grabbed Seth by the arms and pulled, but the useless man wouldn't move. He was dead weight and Dean wasn't a heavy lifter.

 

"Come on, you loser." He griped and pulled at Seth's hands.

 

"No." Seth huffed finally sitting up. He pulled him down into his lap and Dean sighed contentedly when Seth ran his hands over his thighs and up his sides. "I want you to stay right here."

 

"Whatever you want." He leaned down and licked his way into Seth's mouth, sucking the taste from his tongue.

 

"I already said you weren't going to sleep." Seth said darkly and Dean's blood pumped faster through his veins at his tone.

 

"You wanna know how many times I've thought about this?" Dean asked and kissed at his stomach.

 

"How many?"

 

"Too many." Seth laughed. "The first time was after we fought in the yard with oil on our hands and you were on top of me, shirtless. I smeared it all over you."

 

Seth looked up at him and slid his hand up his torso and around his neck just like he had that hot summer day. "That was the first time I jerked off to the thought of you. Sitting in my lap."

 

Dean let out a hot breath of excitement before Seth pulled him down for a kiss that had him sighing into it. He let his hips roll and Seth's hands were on his ass, pulling him down, seeking friction.

 

"Your fucking tattoos. I've never been turned on by ink, not before you. You should get another one." Seth shifted his hips and Dean gasped against the hardness pressing against him. "Or two."

 

Dean bit at his lip. "So should you."

 

Then he was sinking himself down onto his cock, loving the way Seth's eyes fluttered as his head fell back. He let out a shaky breath and gripped Dean's waist and lifted him slightly before pushing his hips up as he let him go, hitting that spot that had them both opened mouthed and breathless.

 

"You're fucking amazing at this." Dean panted above him. "For your first time."

 

"Not my first time thinking about it. Or you. Or doing it to you." Seth pulled him flush against him and bit at his skin, leaving more marks for the world to see.

 

"Fuck, if you could see yourself." Seth dug his nails into his thighs as Dean rode him, rocking his hips perfectly in time with Seth's efforts. "You're so fucking pretty."

 

He looked up at him and watched his red wet lips as his breathing started to falter, becoming uneven the closer his got to his limit. His brows were scrunched together in concentration and the muscles of his stomach were flexed, clenching. 

 

Seth was there, he was right fucking there but he didn't want it to end yet. He wanted to watch Dean ride him for the rest of the night, or morning, or whatever fucking time it was.

 

"I'm close, Seth." Dean said and reached between them to grab himself. "Fuck me."

 

Seth pulled one foot up onto the couch for better leverage and began thrusting into him, his hips stuttering only when Dean cried out.

 

"Harder." He growled in his ear and Seth did his best to last but he couldn't stop the pleasure as it rolled down his spine and crawled up his legs.

 

"Fuck! Dean, I'm cumming."

 

Dean felt him release, his body already shaking as he rode him through it. He stroked himself once, twice, before he fell forward against him as he came between them.

 

"Shit." He said and tried to catch his breath as he blew hot air against Seth's neck. "I'm going to be so fucking sore tomorrow."

 

Seth laughed. "Then we'll sleep all day. How does that sound?"

 

"Mm. A shower sounds better." Dean said and stood, his knees were weaker than he expected. Seth pushed himself off the couch and took his hand, leading him through the house and into the bathroom. He started the shower and stepped in once it was steaming.

 

Dean followed the long tan body into the glass shower and slid the door shut behind him. Seth shared the heat and let him wash the mess they'd made down the drain. He filled his mouth with water and spat it out in a stream at him.

 

"You bitch!" Dean swatted at him, laughing that beautiful goofy laugh and while they were washing themselves off Seth was watching the soap run down Dean's back. 

 

He ran his hands down his body, catching the bubbles before they reached his legs. Dean looked back at him with that stupid sexy grin and smiled when Seth led him back against the wall and kissed him, licking his way into his mouth with his persuasive tongue.

 

Soon Seth lifted Dean up and couldn't help but fuck him again. The pleasure they both shared as Dean held onto him for dear life while Seth was getting him good. He came again and both of them fell against the glass door. Out of breath yet again. 

 

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Seth asked with a cheesy grin as he placed small kisses all over Dean's face.

 

"Yes." He melted against him. "Tell me again."

 

"I love you."

 

Dean kissed him lightly. "I love you."

 

Seth smiled. "Come on, let's go get in the bed. I guess I'll let you sleep."

 

"Yes! I've been thinking about fucking sleeping with you for a whole month. I'm so damn excited, it's not even funny." Dean giggled and dried off as fast as he could once they got out of the shower. 

 

Seth watched in amusement as his lover ran and curled up beneath the sheets, waiting for him with bright warm eyes and he sighed against his soft clean skin as he curled himself around the body that was now his.

 

Seth breathed him in and he knew this was it. He was the one he would spend the rest of his days with because he'd never find another that made him feel the way Dean did. No one made him feel like he was in the fucking clouds with his feet still planted on the ground.

 

Dean turned in his arms and threw an arm around him, resting his head against his chest like how they always used to sleep. He reached up for a gentle kiss and they listen to each other breathe as the fan spun in circles above them, pulling them down into a deep peaceful sleep that was long overdue.

 

 


	58. Chapter 58

"Dude, it's two in the afternoon and they still haven't got up yet." Ash griped and Arin shrugged.

 

"Let them sleep, I'm sure they had a really long night." He winked.

 

"Yeah, I bet they had the hottest sex in the history of... Ever." Roman said as he munched on some Doritos he stole from Bayley's cabinet.

 

They were sitting out on the shore in some lounge chairs soaking up the sun while the others went out to get lunch for everyone.

 

"Well, speak of the devil!" Becky said and they all turned to see Seth and Dean trudging along in the sand hand in hand dragging their beach chairs behind them.

 

"Holy shit, did you guys fight or fuck?" Ash asked as her brows inched up her forehead when she saw the marks that covered both of them. Bruises, hickies, scratches, and bite marks.

 

Seth smiled crookedly as they set up beside them. "A little bit of both."

 

Arin and Dean greeted each other with a secret handshake and laughed. "It's good to have you back, man."

 

Dean sat down beside him. "Yeah, I'm sorry."

 

"Don't be. Everything worked out in the end." Arin laughed at his life-long friend who looked stupidly happy.

 

"Yeah, it did." Dean sat back and let the sun soak into his skin and let Seth's fingers snake around his. Seth leaned over and Dean met him halfway for a quick peck on the lips.

 

"Look at you two all happy and smug." Roman said and smiled down at them.

 

"Hey, if they're happy, I'm happy." Becky said and took a sip of her beer. "So, who topped?"

 

"Oh my God, Becky! You don't just ask two guys who just established their relationship who topped!" Roman flailed his hands in the air, but then sat up and looked over at them. "But, yeah, who topped because we placed bets?"

 

Ash bursted out laughing and Arin shook his head at Dean. "You do not have to answer that."

 

"No it's cool." Seth said and looked at his other half. "Are you cool with it?"

 

Dean grinned and turned to the guys. "Seth tops like a fucking boss."

 

"Ohh, shit! I told you bitch!" Becky stood and pointed down at Ash while Roman rolled in his chair laughing. "You owe me!"

 

"Hey! Kofi made a good argument on top!Dean. I was persuaded, geez." Ash griped and Arin shook his head at her.

 

"Dude, even I knew Seth would top."

 

"What?!" Dean hit his friend on the arm.

 

Arin shrugged with a smile. "Sorry, man. I know you too well."

 

Dean giggled at him. "Yeah, I know. I'm just messing with you. I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks anymore. It was amazing and I'm happy, so screw everything else."

 

Seth squeezed his hand and gave him a warm smile when he looked over at him.

 

"Hey boys! We have arrived with sustenance!" Elias called in the distance and the rest of the crew was headed their way with bags of food in tow. They laid out a few big blankets and anchored them down with what they could find.

 

Randy whistled when Seth sat down next to him. "Damn, son. You have scratches all over your back."

 

"Uh. I think Dean has him beat. Check this shit out." Bayley pulled Dean's head to the side and shed more light on the bite marks and bruises that were only getting darker. "You did a number on him, Seth, I'll give you that."

 

Seth was waiting for Dean to turn red from embarrassment, but to his surprise he was collected and extremely calm about it. He really didn't care what they thought and Seth leaned against him. Dean turned his head and met his lips while the wind gave a warm gust around them.

 

"Well, I'd just like to say on behalf of all of us, that we happily approve of you guys and we are so happy that you guys finally got together because it's been killing us just watching you run around each other for months." Kofi lifted his drink in the air.

 

"Here, here!"

 

"Amen to that!"

 

Seth laughed and raised his drink in the air. "Here's to Kofi, who talked me through my confusion and gay thoughts."

 

Dean caught Kofi's stare and narrowed his eyes at him. Kofi gave him a sly grin and Dean shook his head at him. "You two-timing little shit, Kof."

 

Seth glanced over at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

 

Dean pointed at Kofi sitting across from them. "Kofi was talking me through my problems, too."

 

Seth dropped his head against Dean's shoulder and laughed before he glanced up at their sweet innocent friend. "You dirty whore, Kofi. That's how everyone knew!"

 

"Hey, to be fair, we all pitched in. It wasn't just Kofi instigating it." Becky threw in her two cents and gave a charming grin.

 

Randy pointed at Becky. "She's one persuasive bastard. She convinced me, of all people, to let Dean get lost at Pax."

 

"Someone's about to get the hurt!" Elias yelled when he saw the look on Seth's face, but it turned from betrayed to happy when Dean leaned in and whispered something in his ear.

 

"You guys are assholes." Dean grinned. "But we love you anyway."

 

"Yeah, thanks for putting up with our shit for so long." Seth nodded in agreement.

 

"That's what friends are for." Roman said and they all sat in silence as they looked around at each other. They were all here, together and happy.

 

Complete. 

 

And deep down they knew they would never stray too far, they'd always be there for each other even if they were countries apart at times.

 

"I've got some news guys." Elias spoke up and broke the silence. "I'm going to be moving here in a few weeks."

 

"What! That's fucking awesome!" Bayley punched him in the arm and gave him a hug. "Dude we can hang out all the time!"

 

Everyone congratulated him and as they were taking a walk down the beach Seth pulled Dean closer and kissed the side of his face. "Do you like it here?"

 

Dean leaned into him and nodded. "I love it here. I wish we could stay."

 

Seth thought long and hard about it before he said. "One day we will."

 

"I was hoping you'd say that." Dean smiled and Seth kissed the freckles starting to show on his shoulder again.

 

"It might take a few years, but I want that beach house. I'm going to talk to Bayley's uncle eventually, see what he wants for it and then save up. Because I know it's going to be outrageous, beach front property in California. But it'll happen. I want to live here with you." Seth said and watched Dean squint against the sun.

 

"How did I get so fucking lucky?" Dean asked and wrapped his arm around Seth's waist as they walked, toes sinking into the wet sand.

 

"You sent me a message, remember?"

 

"I remember like it was yesterday. I was so nervous waiting for you to reply."

 

"I'm glad I did." Seth put his arm around his shoulder.

 

"Me, too."

 

                          --------

 

"Look at those fuckers." Becky said as they walked a good distance behind the couple. "So cute."

 

Kofi laughed. "I guess this is a good time for me to tell you guys that I'm bi."

 

"Really?" Roman raised a brow.

 

"Yeah, really."

 

"No fucks given here." Randy grinned.

 

"Yeah, you know we're all cool with it." Bayley pointed at the two guys ahead of them laughing at each other. "Obviously, if we're cool with those gays."

 

 


	59. Chapter 59

The next week went by fast. Too fast for Seth's liking when all he wanted to do was stay in the bed with the windows open letting the salty breeze cool him off as he watched the rise and fall of Dean's chest. He didn't want to go home, but as long as Dean was there it didn't matter where he was. He'd follow him to the ends of the earth.

 

"I can hear you thinking."

 

Seth grinned in the dim light. "Sorry."

 

"What are you thinking about?"

 

He ran his fingers over the smooth skin of his stomach. "You."

 

Dean opened his eyes and Seth felt a terrible ache in his chest.

 

"What about me?" He hummed sleepily.

 

Seth took a deep breath and shook his head. "I don't know. I have this feeling like I'll never be able to show you how much you mean to me, or how much I love you, or how you make me feel. Does that make sense?"

 

Dean nodded his head. "Yes, you feel like you can't express it. You feel like I won't ever know, but I do. I feel that way too and it's tough to think about it. I want you to know that I understand, Seth. I know you love me and I love you. I love you like... I don't know. I look at you and I see you... All of you and it's so beautiful it hurts. And you're mine and I'll never get over that."

 

Seth rolled over and kissed him breathless before he pulled back. "Yes, exactly. You understand me?"

 

Dean nodded, his nose brushing against his. "I understand you."

 

"I love you."

 

"I know." Dean smiled beneath him.

 

Seth settled against him, breathing him in. He loved every part of him and it hurt. 

 

But it was a good hurt. 

 

So good it had him kissing every inch of his body, feeling every goose bump that rose on his skin underneath his touch. 

 

It had him watching Dean's wet lips shining in the dim light coming through the window as he called him name, as he asked for more. 

 

And it wasn't just about the sex. It was about his body and soul and how perfectly it fit around his own and how nothing could pull them apart. 

 

Nothing.

 

Not words.

 

Not even time itself.

 

 


	60. Chapter 60

"We're gonna live here one day." Dean said as they ate dinner in a small diner with the others. 

 

Arin grinned at him. "You're so happy, man."

 

"I know."

 

"It looks good on you." Arin gave him that look he always did. The I love you man, you're my brother and I can't explain how proud that makes me look.

 

Dean smiled at him. "I think we've all been slowly headed this way though. Everyone is slowly drifting to California, to the action and the game cons and each other. I never though I'd get this far with my channel." He glanced over at Seth. "I think I want to do the face reveal thing soon."

 

Everyone dropped their conversations and stopped eating just to stare at him in disbelief. 

 

Ash's jaw dropped at him. "Are you really going to do it?"

 

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'm serious this time."

 

"Dude, your face alone will get you ten million subscribers." Bayley smiled at him as she took another bite of her turkey sandwich.

 

"Are you going to tell everyone about you and Seth though?" Kofi asked and Dean looked to Seth who grinned in approval of the idea.

 

"Maybe."

 

But there was no maybe, he knew they were going to the moment they stepped off the plane and Seth's family was there waiting for them with smiles and open arms.

 

He'd never felt so complete. 

 

He had a family. 

 

He had Seth.

 

                           -----------

 

"Mom, Dad, I've got something to tell you. That's why I wanted you to meet us." Seth said and there was no hint of nervousness or doubt when he looked over at Dean, took his hand and said. "We're together."

 

Dean was lost in his gaze and was surprised when Mary kissed him on the cheek and hugged him tight. "Finally! I'm so happy for you!"

 

Seth's father grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug and said in his ear. "Welcome to the family, Dean."

 

Tyler made his way into the picture and hugged Dean hard. "I can't wait for you to come cook for us again, man."

 

"I'll do it now, if you want." He smiled and that's what they did. They all drove through the snow to his and Seth's house where Jessica and Zach were already waiting. 

 

They put some music on, cooked like a family, told stories until they couldn't laugh any harder, then sat around the dining table that never got used. They all stayed the night because Seth didn't want them driving in the dark to an airport while it was snowing. Dean had never felt so at peace with everything as he fell asleep in Seth's arms, where he belonged and where he would stay.

 

It was barely the break of day when they all got up to the smell of Dean cooking breakfast with Tyler stealing bacon left and right, both of them giggling like maniacs. Seth couldn't stop the swelling of warmth in his heart at the sight. 

 

When his family had packed up and left them thoroughly hugged and kissed and supported, Seth wrapped Dean up in his arms and buried his face in his neck.

 

"I love you." He said softly and then took his hand and pulled him up the stairs. "Come on, let's go make your video."

 

                        -----------

 

"Hey everyone? Dean Ambrose here. I just wanted to give you guys an update on what has been going on in my life which is a lot. It's been crazy and Seth and I just go home from spending New Year's in California with Bayley and the rest of the crew. I was in Cincinnati all December and Seth was playing with Kofi and  uploading videos I had for you guys while I was gone. I was dealing with family things again and it's all taken care of and everything is fine now and a big shout out to my man from the Game Grumps YouTube channel, Arin for letting me stay with him all that time and putting up with my shit. We had a ton of fun in Los Angeles with the others and I hated to leave, but we're home and getting back into the swing of things, uh wrestling for Seth maybe, gaming, recording, editing, shit like that. I also wanted to give you guys something in return for sticking with me this long, all of my subscribers, Twitter followers. Every one of you mean the world to me and I can't express to you how much I appreciate your support so I don't want to make you wait any longer, but um... This is what I look like now."

 

He smiled at the camera and Seth came into view beside him and waved at the screen then said. "There's something else we want to tell you guys."

 

"Are you sure? Because if we do this there is no going back." Dean asked and Seth nodded with a smile. "I'm sure."

 

"Good." He said and looked at the camera with a goofy grin. "Seth and I are..."

 

Seth leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his cheek and said. "Together.. Finally."

 

Dean laughed at Seth and smirked. "Yes. We're together."

 

Then he turned and met Seth's lips and it ended up being a battle of who could get their clothes off faster and into the bed. "Did you stop recording?"

 

Dean glanced at the monitor across the room and laughed. "I don't know."

 

"As long as this part doesn't make it to the internet." Seth said and proceeded to make the man beneath him shiver and shake long into the night until they woke the next day just to do it all over again.

 

 


	61. Chapter 61

It had been one month and Dean still wore that little bracelet around his wrist. He slept with it on, he showered with it on and when he was feeling distressed in any way he would simply rub the thread between his fingers and let it bring him back down to reality. 

 

It never failed.

 

It never failed to make his heart stutter when Seth would play with the thin thread mindlessly as they were curled up together on the couch watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory. 

 

He loved the feel of his fingertips brushing against the sensitive skin of his wrist and the goose bumps that would rise when those fingers ventured further up his arm to run circles in the crook of his arm.

 

It was sweet.

 

He loved the tingle of Seth's breath as he whispered in his ear, the soft brush of lips as they met the spot that made him hot.

 

It made him burn.

 

He loved the nights when Seth would pull him up the stairs, looking back at him with a grin that made his fingers shake. Every time his head hit the pillow, his back would arch, his body searching for Seth's touch in the dark and he was always granted small fleeting kisses against his skin.

 

They didn't talk much those nights. Not when all they wanted was to feel each other. The rush of breath filling the air were conversation enough. Their hands pressed those three words into each other's skin as they moved together in the night, sometimes during the day, sometimes on the kitchen floor, shower, couch.

 

But then there were the nights when Dean looked at Seth and he couldn't stop the curling of his toes when his brown eyes started undressing him, making their way down his long body. 

 

He always knew what Seth was doing and Seth always knew that Dean couldn't bare it, being in a public place, digging his nails into his palms to keep his erection under control.

 

Seth loved it. 

 

He loved the way Dean would twist and turn in his seat at dinner with Kenny and Lisa, or when they were at the movies, or even at his parents. 

 

He loved the desperate wet kiss that was on his lips as soon as they got home, as soon as they shut the front door.

 

God, Seth loved it, every hot and messy second of it.

 

Those nights, they didn't take their time. They whispered obscene things it each other's ear, stole each other's breath, broke each other's skin.

 

Sometimes the bed wasn't even the main event, because sometimes Seth couldn't wait that long. He couldn't wait to get up the stairs, so the couch would have to do, or the hardwood floor, but his favorite was the wall. 

 

It was the hottest thing pinning him against the drywall as soon as they shut the front door, making a mess of the clothes they couldn't get off all the way. He'd never had so many holes in his shirts.

 

                        

 

 


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casual Affair
> 
> P!ATD

It had been three months almost and Dean was already getting invitations to panels for PAX and Seth couldn't stop smiling. 

 

This is what he'd always dreamed of: finding the love of his life and spending the rest of their time together travelling, and gaming, and just being dorks.

 

So, there they were walking hand in hand down the snowy white streets of Boston, stopping to take pictures with fans that spotted them.

 

"Let's go to Dave and Buster's later." Seth grinned over at him.

 

"Why? So I can kick your ass at arcade games?" Dean squeezed his fingers.

 

"Yeah, and then you can feel bad about it and feel obligated to make it up to me."

 

"Oh yeah?" Dean grinned at him cheekily. "Make it up to you how?"

 

"I've got some good ideas." Seth pressed a kiss to the side of Dean's face, then said in his ear. "I'll tell you all about it tonight when we get back to the hotel."

 

Dean laughed into the cold and pulled him closer. "How about we take a detour and go to the hotel now?"

 

"No, come on!" Seth laughed and pulled him along the sidewalk towards the convention. "The others are waiting for us."

 

"Seth, they won't miss us for another thirty minutes. Come onnnn." Dean tugged him in the other direction.

 

"Are you serious, or are you just playing with me? I can never tell." Seth smirked when Dean looked back at him.

 

"Shut up, you know I'm serious and you know you're making me flustered." Dean pulled him toward the hotel faster. "I'm horny as fuck right now you asshole."

 

Seth was too and he had his boyfriend pressed against the elevator wall as soon as the doors slid shut. He was already unbuckling his belt, thumbing the button of his skinny jeans open and the doors gave a ding and they stumbled out into an empty hallway.

 

"Hurry up, we only have twenty more minutes to spare!" Dean whispered loudly as he raced down the hall, fumbling to get the key card out of his back pocket. Seth kissed at the back of his neck while he clumsily slid the card into the door.

 

"Jesus... At least let me get out of my pants." He mumbled against his lover's lips when the door fell shut behind them.

 

"Hey, you're the one that insisted on us coming back here first."

 

"Yeah, but these are the only pair of jeans I brought. And I'd rather not have to walk around with a mess in my pants." Dean fell back onto the bed and held his legs up and watched in amusement as Seth pulled his pants off for him and kissed his way up his cold legs that were getting warmer the longer Seth took.

 

"Want me to strip for you, baby?" Seth said with a sly grin as he stepped out of his clothes and snorted on a laugh when Dean broke down into a fit of contagious giggles.

 

"Don't even start that with me." He laughed and sat up, reaching for Seth's hands. He pulled him down onto the bed with him. "You know I hate that corny sex talk."

 

"I know, but you know I gotta mess with you. It's what I do." Seth pulled at Dean's shirt until it was gone, tossed carelessly to the floor.

 

"Mm." Dean bit at his lip in anticipation as Seth took his time placing kisses on his skin, running his fingers through his hair, making him shiver, making him feel so fucking wanted. 

 

So loved.

 

Seth always took his time with him even when the sex was desperate and urgent. He took his time letting him know that his body was a temple and he worshipped it and it wasn't something to be rushed or abused.

 

He nipped at his shoulders letting his teeth run gently across his skin. Then Dean whispered in his ear. "Fifteen minutes."

                           -------------

 

"Where the hell are they?" Arin was craning his neck, searching through the faces in the crowd for the two guys who were still absent.

 

"I'll call Dean, hang on." Elias pulled out his phone and dialed.

 

                       ----------

 

Dean was close and he was feeling every inch of Seth as he thrusted into him, so fucking smooth and just barely hitting that spot each time, slowly working him closer and closer to the end.

 

Then his phone rang beside them and Seth shook his head when he saw the caller ID. "It's Elias. Don't answer. You can call him back."

 

Seth wrapped around him tighter, thrusted harder and Dean was forgetting all about the call until his phone started ringing again. "Damn it, Elias!"

 

Dean answered and Seth kept going, they were too close to stop, it felt too good. He tried to talk calmly and breathe like a normal human being. "Hey."

 

"Where are you guys?"

 

"We're like, ten minutes away. We're coming." Dean said.

 

Seth laughed out loud. "Yeah, we're cumming."

 

"Oh my God, shut uuhh." Dean said out accidentally as Seth thrusted even harder, cutting off his laugh and turning it into something else, something he never wanted Elias to hear. He held the phone away when the man started yelling in his ear.

 

"Dean! I will fucking end you if you ever pick up the phone again while you guys are having sex!"

 

They didn't hear what else he said because Seth snatched the phone and hung it up as he kept his hard and heavy pace, losing his fucking thought process as he felt Dean cumming. His muscles tightening around him and Seth was spent when Dean threw his head back and let his breath leave him in a long loud moan. "Fuuuck."

 

Seth slowed down, letting his own climax flow through him, leaving him dazed and satisfied if only temporarily. 

 

But he always had forever to come back for more. They sprawled on bed for a few minutes, letting their bodies cool down.

 

"Let's get cleaned up, you said we'd be there in ten minutes." Seth grinned down at him when he pushed himself from the bed. He bent down and placed a kiss on his head. "I love you Ambrose"

 

"I love you, too Rollins."

 

"Now get your fine ass up." Seth held his hand out and Dean let his tingling fingers slide into his.

 

                       -----------

 

"Found the little shits." Ash pointed into the crowd. Elias was glaring at both of them as they walked over and Seth was trying not to laugh.

 

"Never again." Elias said.

 

"Never." Dean nodded. "Got it."

 

                         ----------

 

He giggled about it for the next half hour before their panel started and he couldn't stop the flutter of nerves as they sat in their seats in front of the microphones.

 

"So what is it like working side by side with TheFantasticAshhole, UpUpDownDown, Game Grumps and with Seth Rollins now, first as friends, and now as a couple? Oh and are we going to ever see you wrestling again anytime soon?"

 

Dean smiled and ducked his head. "Um." He paused and felt Seth's hand on his leg urging him on. He caught his eye before he looked out at everyone. "Well.. It's my life and it's awesome. I know we don't normally talk about personal things on our vlogs, but it's everything to me. The fact that I get to game with these amazing people sitting at this table and live with this guy right next to me and call him my own is something that I never thought I'd get to experience. It's fun and it's how it should be and I think everyone should strive to find that kind of happiness in their lives. It's just... Yeah. But as of wrestling... Maybe I'll come back around but for right now I'm taking it day by day."

 

Seth smiled and Dean really didn't remember the rest of the questions or how long they all sat there talking, all he saw was Seth. 

 

And all he could think about was spending the rest of his life with him and kissing him until he couldn't feel his own lips.

 

 


	63. Chapter 63

It had been five months and Seth's birthday was in May. Seth's mother had insisted on them visiting so they could make a big dinner over the weekend for them both.

 

So there they were filling their bellies with outrageously good food. Seth was on his third helping and could hardly move by the time he was done and laid out on the patio furniture.

 

"Oh, man. I'm miserable." He mumbled as the warm sun drained his energy and made him drowsy in the summer heat.

 

Dean stretched out beside him and rubbed his stomach. "Poor thing."

 

"Kiss it and make it better." Seth laughed when Dean pulled his shirt up and kissed his stomach. "Thanks."

 

"Anytime."

 

Seth pulled him up for a kiss then sat back with his eyes closed, letting the sun lull him asleep. He napped for about an hour and when he woke up, Dean was nowhere to be found.

 

"Mom!" He called when he walked back in the house.

 

"Yeah, baby?"

 

"Where is everyone?" He asked and met her in the kitchen, where she was alone reading a book by the window.

 

"Zach and Jess ran to town. Tyler and Dean are with your dad out by the old shed." She said without looking up from her pages.

 

"Okay."

 

Seth headed outside again and down a little pebbled path that took him to his father's shed where he had an old Convertible frame that had been sat up and rusting for as long as he could remember. His father loved cars but never had the time to get out there and restore it.

 

He heard Dean laughing inside the tin building and he walked in to find him standing there with grease smeared on his hands and Tyler with it on his face.

 

"Seth!" His dad grinned when he joined them and Seth had never seen his father so dirty. But he looked happy with car parts strewn all over the place getting back into the swing of things.

 

"Dean's helping me find what all I need to put this beauty back together. Want to help?" His dad asked and how could Seth say no? He couldn't. Not with the way Dean was smiling from ear to ear.

 

"Yeah, I guess. I don't have a clue what any of this is, just so you know."

 

Dean held his hand out. "I can teach you. Come here, look."

 

Seth listened and he learned what Dean had to offer and he couldn't stop the desire that kept his jeans feeling a little too tight for the next two hours as his boyfriend showed him the ropes.

 

Tyler left ten minutes into it, rolling his eyes at his older brother and his obvious gawking admiration every time Dean said a big word like transmission.

 

It was sexy. The dirt and grit on his hands and his long fingers as he pointed and more attractive words spilled from his lips. Seth kept nodding and as the sun started to fade his father headed back into the house leaving the two of them alone in the shed.

 

"Keep talking." Seth said and Dean happily obliged, digging deeper into the muscle car encyclopedia in his beautiful mind while Seth walked around him. 

 

Watching. 

 

Listening. 

 

Until Dean paused and Seth knew he was on to him.

 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked him quietly, smirking when Seth looked him up and down while biting his lip.

 

"You." Seth said and he stepped closer, placing his hands on the metal on either side of Dean's hips. "Thinking about bending you over the hood of this car."

 

Dean's breath left him and Seth's mouth was on his, his body pressing into his. The rusty metal frame beneath him dug into the back of his legs. Seth stifled a moan when Dean's hand slid down his pants but lost it when his tongue got caught between his teeth.

 

"Dean-"

 

"Yeah."

 

Seth was already helping him undo his jeans, spinning him, running his fingers up his back before pushing him forward onto the hood of the car.

 

"Come on, Seth. Fuck me."

 

Seth laughed and placed a kiss on his shoulder as he stuck his fingers in his mouth. Then he was slowly moving against him, moving into him and Dean gripped the side of the car like his life depended on it.

 

"Shh. We've never fucked against a car before, let's take it slow." Seth said against his shoulder as he rocked his hips. Dean was obviously horny and had been all day given the way he was pushing back as hard as he could.

 

"Seeeeeetttthhhhh, please. What if they come back? We need to hurry."

 

"I doubt they will, but if you want it that bad -"

 

"I do, Seth, now move!" Dean groaned and pushed back against him again.

 

"Okay." Seth said calmly, running his hand over Dean to relax his tense muscles and once he felt him take a deep breath and go lax against the car he pulled his hips away and slammed back into him.

 

"Oh shit -" Dean gasped out as Seth did what he was so fucking good at, making him come undone.

 

And as always when they were finished, cleaned up, and weak at the knees as they walked back to the house, Seth took his face in his hands. He always kissed him soft, kissed him wet because he liked watching Dean wipe his lips with his thumb and watch the dimples on his cheeks show when he smiled at him.

 

"Hey, have you guys played that new-" Tyler started to say when they stepped into the patio, but stopped mid sentence when he looked then over. A look of horror spread across his face. "You didn't."

 

Dean winked as Seth laughed and pulled him along through the backdoor. Tyler was still sitting there looking mortified when he called after them.

 

"You did! Oh my God, I'm never going in that shed again!"

 

"We didn't make that big of a mess." Dean muttered but he looked back in time to see Tyler stick his fingers in his ears and say. "Lalalalalala! I can't hear you!!"

 

 


	64. Chapter 64

It had been eight months and the weather was cooling off again in Canada and Dean was needing his Arin fix. As they did at least once a month, they flew down to Cincinnati to stay with Dean's partner in crime and fiance for the weekend. 

 

Seth had also convinced Dean to start speaking to his sister again and even got him visit her when they came down. He remembered the conversation well.

 

"I don't want anything to do with her." Dean said plainly as they swam in the pool. "We go down there to be with Arin, and I think it should stay that way."

 

"Dean."

 

"Seth."

 

"I love you."

 

"And I love you."

 

"Just hear me out." Seth swam closer, playing with the strings of Dean's swim shorts. "Alexis is the only family you have left and you have a niece that would adore you if would just get to know her. If you would just visit, stop by and say hello every once in a while. They don't have family either. Just you."

 

Dean rubbed his lips together. "As long as you go with me. You're my significant other and you're just as much family as I am."

 

"Deal." Seth smiled and kissed him quickly before ducking under the water again.

 

                          -----------

 

So there they were for about the fifth time that year at their childhood home that Alexis had completely redecorated and updated. Dean knew she didn't want it to feel how it used to when they were kids and she'd done an amazing job at turning it around.

 

His niece was seven years old and an absolute ball of energy. Once Dean had got past her shy barrier it was over and she threw herself at him every time he and Seth came over.

 

"Uncle Dean! Uncle Seth!"

 

"AJ!"

 

Dean gave her a kiss on her pretty forehead and brushed her long blonde hair out of her eyes. Seth picked her up in a hug before she took off running into the house.

 

"Hey, Alexis." Dean smiled at his sister when they followed her child inside. She kissed them both on the cheek and grinned warmly at them.

 

"It's good to see you guys. She's been keeping me on my toes."

 

Seth sat down on the couch and let Dean settle beside him. "How's school going for her?"

 

"School is great. She's doing really good, better than I ever did." Alexis laughed but a small sadness was lingering behind it. "I just wish things had turned out a little different. I wish AJ had grandparents, but I know it's for the best that she never got to meet them. I'm so grateful to you two for coming down here so often. She adores the both of you so much. It just means a lot."

 

Dean gave a small laugh. "It's all on Seth really. He convinced me all those months ago to start visiting you when we came down to see Arin and Danny."

 

"I know." She smiled and Seth gave him a wink when he cut his eyes at him.

 

"What else do you guys talk about?" He asked suspiciously and Seth shrugged dramatically.

 

"You know, normal gossip. Your bad habits, what color your wedding dress is going to be." Seth teased.

 

"I'm not the woman in this relationship, you are wearing the dress." Dean threw his hands up and they all laughed until AJ ran back in the room.

 

"Uncle Dean! Come help me beat The Rock pleeease!" She begged and he gladly followed her to her room.

 

Seth sat up, his elbows on his knees. "You're raising her well."

 

"Thank you. I just want her to be herself. If that means playing games  until her hands fall off and enjoying wrestling, then so be it. And now she has two amazing uncles to encourage her."

 

Seth couldn't think of what to say, but he smiled and everything felt right in the world.

 

Until that evening when the four of them met with Arin and Danny for a movie and then dinner in downtown Cincinnati. 

 

They were hand in hand walking through town, enjoying the sights while the sun faded and the cold was nipping at their faces when something just seemed off. Seth couldn't place the feeling, but when Arin glanced back and caught his eye, he knew he wasn't the only one who felt it.

 

"Can we get some ice cream?" AJ shouted and pointed to a shop that was just ahead and she pulled at Dean's hand. 

 

That's when Seth glanced behind them just for the sake of putting the hairs on the back of his neck at ease.

 

When he did, he saw him. Green eyes and dark hair and way too sketchy for his liking and he knew. He knew who it was without ever having seen the man before with his own eyes. Jacob.

 

Seth didn't want Dean to turn around. "Yeah, go get her some ice cream, spoil her. That's what uncles do."

 

"Alright." Dean laughed and kissed his cheek before he took AJ by the hand and led her into the ice cream shop with Danny and Alexis.

 

Then he turned with Arin hot on his heels. Jacob stopped dead in his tracks.

 

Seth took a calm breath. "Is there a reason why you're here?"

 

Jacob smirked. "Dude, I don't even know you."

 

"You must think I'm fucking stupid." Seth stepped closer to him and he could see the hesitation in his green eyes. "You're here for Dean because you can't accept the fact that he's perfectly fine without you. If you ever gave a shit about him, you would leave him the fuck alone every time he comes here. But here you are wallowing in self pity, following us around like a washed up piece of trash looking for his attention that you won't fucking get. So grow the fuck up, Jacob."

 

Jacob's jaw flexed visibly and Seth dodged the punch he knew was coming before the guy even swung. He moved quick and let his own fist hit Jacob square in the jaw, knocking him on his ass. 

 

The pavement paid him no mind. He flinched backwards when Seth stepped towards him again, but he felt Arin's hand on his shoulder. 

 

So instead of beating him any further he looked down at him and said. "Dean is happy with me. I'm happy with him and I'll be damned if I let you try to fuck that up. Not that you could if you tried because he doesn't give two fucks about you anymore. He hasn't for years. Accept that. If I ever see you again... If Dean ever sees you again, I'll do more than just punch you. Do you understand me? Am I getting through to you?"

 

Jacob wiped at the blood on his face and gave a quick silent nod, picking himself off the sidewalk. He stared at him hard before he turned and walked away for good.

 

"Man, that was so satisfying to watch." Arin laughed behind him. "I've never seen him speechless before."

 

Seth grinned when Dean came out with two ice creams in hand and handed him one with a kiss. "I got you chocolate."

 

"Thank you." He took his hand once more and they continued on their merry way with the past behind them even though his fist was throbbing just a little. It was worth it and Dean was none the wiser.

 

 


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Heart Will Go On
> 
> Celine Dion

It had been one year and he finally worked up the courage to let Dean cut his hair.

 

"Calm down, bitch. I've got this!" Dean slapped his head and made him be still. "It's going to be so sexy you won't be able to look at your self in the mirror."

 

"If you fuck it up, we're both buzzing our heads."

 

"Deal."

 

He didn't disappoint. Dean stood back and admired his work. He'd shaped Seth's unruly long hair into the most attractive shoulder length he'd ever laid eyes on and he congratulated himself by dragging Seth up the the stairs for a round in the sheets. From that day forward Dean was his hairdresser and he always paid him with sex.

 

                       ----------

 

It had been three years. Seth was thirty eight and he felt that they had finally reached that point where they could finally live their dream. 

 

California.

 

"Hey, babe?"

 

"Yeah, sugar?" Dean said and stuck his head around the corner to the kitchen and grinned stupidly at him.

 

"It's ours." Seth said and his face split into a huge smile when Dean's face went from confused to realization in point two seconds.

 

"Oh my God.... I can't... I... Really?! It's fucking ours?"

 

Seth laughed. "Yes, it's ours! We can move down there whenever we're ready."

 

He picked him up in a hug when he ran into his arms laughing happily. They'd had been saving up for years to be able to buy and move into the beach house on the shore of California, and still have plenty of money to be more than comfortable. 

 

It was their dream and they were finally getting to live it. Almost every single one of their friends had already moved and settled in California and now they were finally going to join them. They were keeping the house in Canada, just for the sake of having another home to come back to if they ever needed a break.

 

"Hey." He said and Dean pulled back long enough for him to say. "I love you so much."

 

"Of course you do." Dean snickered in his arms. "How could you not love this fine ass of mine?"

 

Seth bit down lightly on the curve of his neck and grabbed at his perfectly shaped butt. "Let's go upstairs and I'll show you how much I love it."

 

"Hmm. Why don't you just show me right here?"

 

                           -----------

 

The next two years were the most fun filled years either of them had ever experienced. From the moment they moved to the beach and sank their toes in the sand where it had all started, where they had first kissed seven years ago and never looked back. It was everything they'd strived for and it was finally in their hands. 

 

They hung out with the crew almost on a daily basis, staying at each other houses and apartments, having stupid sleepovers with full grown people, spending sleepless nights in the city.

 

Until Dean had his midlife crisis when his birthday was just around the corner. His birthday was in two days and he was sulking around the beach house with his head in his hands. "I'm so old. I'm turning to dust. Just leave me and find someone else, someone beautiful and young. You deserve that, Seth."

 

Seth laughed at his dramatic pouting. "Seriously? You are in the best shape of your life. We run on the beach almost every morning, you have the sexiest washboard abs I've ever seen, your skin is the color of coffee, and you told me not too long ago how good you felt. You said you still felt like you were fifteen."

 

"I do." Dean groaned and sank to the couch. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm turning thirty-nine in two days."

 

Seth rolled his eyes and crawled into his lap, taking his face in his hands, looking into his lover's blue eyes. "It doesn't matter how old you are. You were thirty-four when we first got together. I loved you then and I love you now. Age will never change that. I'm turning thirty-nine next May, but I don't feel it and I don't see it. I don't see us aging. All I see is you. Every day when I wake up I see you and it's all I ever want to see. Even when we're both grey and playing games, complaining about how much our wrists hurt."

 

Dean smiled and Seth could see the small laugh lines in the corners of his eyes and it was beautiful. He eventually got over his crises that day and Seth walked in on him dancing on the bed, blaring music, and Seth simply watched, wondering why Dean ever thought he should be with someone else. Then he joined him until they got tangled in the sheets.

 

                     ----------

 

They were the faces of YouTube now with more subscribers then anyone and if they weren't home, or hanging with the others, or visiting Canada, they were in interviews or at cons on panels. They were undeniably famous and it was strange at first again, but they settled in quickly and took it in stride. 

 

Everything was as it should be.

 

And there was one morning that finally made Seth's life come full circle on him.

 

It was that time of year where Autumn was creeping in and the weather was perfect: not hot enough to make you sweat, but still not cold enough to give you chills. It was that temperature where you could leave the windows open and let the steady breeze rolling off the ocean flow in and make the sheer curtains float steadily in the air like puffs of smoke in the room.

 

It felt good enough for the two of them to sleep without clothes or blankets. Good enough to just lay there and bathe in the salty air and the sound of the waves as the tide receded with the moon.

 

Seth could see the silhouette of the man beside him on their king size bed, his now sun kissed skin the color of morning coffee with too much creamer, like smooth mocha. His messy beach hair was being teased by the wind and he could see his stomach rising and falling with each breath he took.

 

He traced the tattoos that spanned the length of each arm, twists and curves that wrapped around his wrists forming intricate pieces of art that didn't end until they reached his shoulders. Dean hummed in his sleep when Seth pressed feather light kisses onto his chest, tasting the salt that had dried to his skin. He didn't wake him as left the bed and pulled his shorts on and Dean's jacket before he stepped out onto the beach.

 

The sand was soft and cold beneath Seth's feet and the wind chapped his face as he walked along the beach in the pale light of the early morning sun. 

 

It hadn't quite made it to the horizon yet but it was turning a nice shade of pastel blue and it made him feel so inexplicably content. He felt it couldn't be any better than this, even if it was a little cold at the moment and he was pulling the black jacket around him a little tighter.

 

He was wrong though. Of course it could be better. Dean could be standing there with him and when he felt a warm hand slide into his. He looked over and smiled. Now it couldn't get any better.

 

"What are you doing out here so early?" His love asked and kissed his shoulder. He felt his warm breath through the thick fabric of his jacket.

 

Seth leaned over and let his lips kiss softly at his face until he caught his warm mouth, still swollen and warm with sleep and he couldn't resist turning, pulling him in, running his hands up his neck, and kissing the life out of him until he was putty in his hands. When he finally pulled back to see the baby blue look in his eyes he smiled. "Just taking a walk. Care to join me?"

 

Dean grinned under Seth's touch when he stroked a thumb across his face, sending chills over his body that had nothing to do with the weather. "I'd love to."

 

So they walked. Seth's arm over his shoulder and Dean's arm wrapped around his waist. They didn't say a word because they didn't need to.

 

They simply walked, enjoying each other's silent comfortable presence as the waves slowly beat down on the shore sending mist into the air. The smell was intoxicating, the salt filling their senses as it stuck to their skin.

 

Dean sighed beside him and Seth didn't know what he was waiting for. He didn't know why he hadn't done it sooner, or why he ever thought against it. But he stopped walking and took Dean's hand pulling him to a halt in the sand.

 

"What is it?"

 

Seth just grinned and shook his head, playing with the thin thread of that small black and red bracelet that Dean still wore after so many years. He wrapped his arms around the man that was everything to him.

 

The man that ruled his world and never failed to send his heart into fits. 

The man that woke up early on Mondays out of habit just to roll over and tell him good morning, bitch. 

 

They glanced out at the ocean as the sky turned a brilliant shade of orange and Seth said. "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"

 

Dean's eyes flicked to his before he broke into a gorgeous wide smile that would never cease to make the butterflies go crazy in Seth's gut. He let a small giggle escape before he said. "I would say hell yes."

 

"Okay." Seth smiled. "Dean, will you marry me?"

 

"Hell yes."

 

He didn't have a ring to give but he knew Dean didn't want one, not until they were saying I do.

 

"I don't need fifteen different rings to symbolize the steps we take. I just need one." He had said one day and Seth agreed wholeheartedly. They didn't need rings when they had each other and ever since then, he thought about it. 

 

He pictured a shining piece of silver glinting off Dean's hand in the daylight. Sometimes he would hold his fingers up in the light while they lazed around the house and he would admire the slender curves of his hand, his knuckles, and the empty expanse of his ring finger. He'd pretend.

 

But he didn't want to pretend anymore. Now, they didn't have to.

 

And that's where they said their vows a month later, toes buried in the sand, with their friends and family surrounding them. It was a shorts and t-shirt kind of deal and they even live-streamed it for the world to see. They even had cheeseburgers and fries to celebrate afterwards and everything was as it should be.

 

                     -------------

 

It had been five years and Seth was sprawled out on a blanket, getting baked by the sun. The others were in the ocean cooling off and he sat up on his elbows looking out at the sight before him, one he'd never tire of, one that completed his soul.

 

"Ava!"

 

Seth smiled as he watched his best friend, his husband, running after their daughter as she high tailed it across the shore with her eighteen month old legs. He scooped her up into his arms and held her above his head as she laughed. "You're getting so fast, baby girl."

 

Seth pushed himself to his feet and walked out to join his family.

 

And everything was right in the world.

 

Everything was as it should be.

 

              💘The End 💘

 

 


End file.
